The Commons knows its place; why can’t John O’Dowd?

John O’Dowd had a difference of opinion with the TUV’s Jim Allister up in Stormont the other day. Allister referred to him as “Her Majesty’s Minister for Education”. “I am not Her Majesty’s Minister for Education” O’Dowd told the once-potent threat to the DUP. “I am the people’s Minister for Education, a title of which I am proud”.

The British House of Commons appears to adopt Allister’s more genuflecting line. Tomorrow is Prince Philip’s 90th birthday and the British MPs were doing some truly sad grovelling, sending their “humble congratulations” to “His Royal Highness” on the great achievement of having lived so long. This was backed up by lots of side-splitting memories of His Royal Highness’s wit, such as the time he asked a man what he did, the man said he was a trade union representative and Prince Philip (oh my aching sides!) replied “You do bugger all, in other words.”

He’s always been witty at others’ expense. There’s the famous remark on the Chinese tour when he told some students “If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed”, and his Wildean barb to a blind woman with a guide-dog: “Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”

He started life as Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg, but when he married Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, he changed his name to hers. Odd, but there you are. Fortunately, by this time Elizabeth A M had changed her name to Windsor (no nodding off at the back, please), so the chance of combining the two names into Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg-Saxe-Coburg-Gotha was, sad to say, lost. Meanwhile, three of Philip’s brothers-in-law were busy sucking up to the Nazis but then so was Elizabeth’s uncle Edward. It wasn’t from the wind Harry got that fancy-dress idea.

But let’s not mention the war, or at least not that one. There’s no denying the man from Greece is today in great shape for his age, and the fact that his idea of work is to walk behind the wife on some eighty days in the year, hands behind his back, passing the occasional racist or sexist remark to people who can’t answer back, probably has nothing to do with it. Bet he’s glad he left Greece, though.

3 Responses to The Commons knows its place; why can’t John O’Dowd?

  1. Anonymous June 9, 2011 at 5:23 pm #

    I suppose the recipe for longevity is doing nothing all your life…the old bubble reputedly came out with a couple of faux pas on the recent cringefest…qua 'apart from pipe bombs and funny dancing what else have you got planned for us ?'…and…on departure 'thank you for not shooting us'…
    At least he didn't tell anyone to 'naff orf' like Her Royal Haughtiness Anne…the apple doesn't fall far from the tree…
    You wouldn't be surprised to see her romping home in the Derby let alone the horse…uncanny resemblance…something along the lines of Myles molecule theory..maybe…?
    Why were proceedings in camera at Stormont today..?
    Just taking the mic'(again…I suppose!

  2. Anonymous June 9, 2011 at 6:34 pm #

    I've been racking my brain cell to try and come up with a suitable adjective to describe the recent 'beanfest' (geddit) but so far it has eluded me…UNTIL now…whilst it was cringier than the cringiest cringey thing with a side order of cringe I now realise the term I was looking for all along was an 'ERgasm'…
    copyright me!

  3. Anonymous June 10, 2011 at 9:31 am #

    Prince Philip is a 'CULT'…Honestly!
    On the South Sea Island of Vanuatu the villagers of Yaohannen revere him as a god…believing him to be the product of a liaison dangereuse between a local woman and the the nearby volcano…a volatile relationship I understand…!
    Guess that would make him a lava lout…!