Getting mad about the jubilee badge

I’m back. And I was barely awake this morning when I found myself on the  Nolan Show, Radio Ulster/Raidio Uladh discussing the latest piece of local absurdity. It seems Tesco issued some Royal Diamond Jubilee badge to its staff in Britain but didn’t do likewise here. OMG – the INSULT of it. The CONTEMPT of it. There were callers saying they’d never shop in Tesco again (it’s called cutting off your nose to spite your face). Gregory Campbell – a man I like – was on saying it was absurd to have no Tesco/Jubilee badges here, because “everybody” here was agreed about celebrating the jubilee. Crikey, Gregory. Gisssabreak.
Tesco’s make decisions on purely commercial grounds. What will sell more stuff, what will keep the customers happy? In Britain, for reasons best known to themselves, most people seem to think that giving the job of head of state via genetic roulette is a good idea. Here, however, QE2 is, waking and sleeping, a constant source of joy to some half of the population, while the other half get a pain their tender parts just thinking about her. So Tesco  don’t want to go doing something that might at best irritate and at worst outrage half the population. Not good business, that. So they decided to just skip the badges-for-staff thing.  Eminently sensible, I’d have thought.
But no. There were chaps ringing in saying any staff that wanted to wear the jubilee badge should wear it, others who didn’t shouldn’t bother. Mmmm. Sound like a great recipe for division among staff and for identification of the unionists from the nationalists/republicans at the check-out.  Hardly the stuff of harmony. Another guy wanted to know what was my problem with Protestants and why couldn’t I “let Protestants live”. I hadn’t said a word about Protestants and wham bam, here’s this guy David telling me I’ve got a shocking down on the prods. Pu-lease, David. Some Protestants I like, some I can’t stand. As is the case with Catholics. But this is politics, remember. And all I’m saying is, Tesco made a good decision by keeping their stores here jubilee-badge free.  If David or anyone else wants to dance in their street because QE2 has been on a throne for 60 years, fine. Although do keep in mind,  she never would have been where she is only her uncle cleared off with that weird-looking American woman.  But  that’s how monarchy works – they allow women (or have allowed: I gather it’s going to change)  to pull on the crown when they’ve run out of men. And of course I’m hugely cheered by the  possibility that if I can get a sufficiently high-up royal to marry me,  the fact that I’m a taig will be no bar on my royal wife getting her rear-end lodged in that throne. As it would have been in the past. A major worry removed, I promise you.
Like I say: it’s a weird system, royalty.  Tesco’s, on the other hand, have one sole aim: to separate you from your money. So don’t take the non- badge thing  personally,  guys ; it’s only business.  

6 Responses to Getting mad about the jubilee badge

  1. Anonymous June 1, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

    Why wouldnt people in limavady want to celebrate the jubilee with the rest of the uk and why shouldnt the tesco staff there wear these badges after all their close neighbours in LONDONderry were happy enough to take the title of UK city of culture with gerry adams bein one of the first to gloat about it all a bit contradictory we are part of the uk and should be given the same right to celebrate our queen as anyone else

  2. Anonymous June 2, 2012 at 11:12 am #

    Another mention of the term 'half the population' in clear contradiction of academic surveys, opinion polls and, indeed, successive election results. Still, propaganda and terrorism are two things Irish republicans collectively excel at, so I'm hardly surprised.

    It may interest the author to know that a certain proportion of the population in Great Britain aren't celebrating the Jubilee, either. However, as Northern Ireland is an integral part of the United Kingdom (and this is a message that needs repeating until the republican movement collectively understands and appreciates the significance of what they supported 14 years ago), it should be treated no differently than anywhere else.

  3. giordanobruno June 2, 2012 at 11:45 am #

    Welcome back Jude, just in time for the street party.
    How's the feet? Still made of clay?
    Anon 17:32
    We live in a divided society. We all need to do what we can to heal those divisions, or at least keep to ourselves as Jude would prefer.
    So maybe the right to wear jubilee badges at all times needs to be given up to avoid needless provocation.
    It's a small concession I think. A persons identity is not under threat from taking a badge off to go in to work.

  4. Jude Collins June 3, 2012 at 2:40 pm #

    Gio – thanks for your welcome and concern. Feet are in good kicking form. “Keep to ourselves as Jude would prefer”? No, just don't go creating division unnecessarily. “The right to wear jubilee badges at all times”? Think about it, Gio, and you'll see that's just a wee bit daft. But I'm with you the rest of the way.

    Anon 12:12 – could you quote your sources re “academic sources” and “opinion polls”? And maybe explain how an opinion poll would measure population? You're right about “a certain proportion” of Britain being anti-monarchist – last reference I saw mentioned 20%. Small but it does seem larger than it was. But yes, most people in Britain think the monarchy is a really good idea. But your leap from that to Northern Ireland being as British as Finchley (as it were) escapes me.
    Anon 17:32 – I don't think anyone's stopping you celebrating what you see fit to celebrate. I was talking about badge-wearing in a work-place, where I'd have thought work rather than celebration would be appropriate.

  5. giordanobruno June 3, 2012 at 4:29 pm #

    “The right to wear jubilee badges at all times”? Think about it, Gio, and you'll see that's just a wee bit daft”
    Ha you got me there.
    Though some people may wish to be jubilant all the time. It is a God given right after all.
    We worry to much here about our rights and not enough about our responsibilities.

  6. Anonymous June 4, 2012 at 10:05 pm #

    Well isn't this another fine storm in a teacup?

    Firstly, let me state categorically that nothing tesco can do, will be ever positive in my eyes. I regret every time necessity dictates I must step into one of their stores.

    Having been working in Berkshire as past month and a half, I've seen the delirium building as the big day approaches. Thankfully, over here we're a little distanced from it, sometimes some perspective is a good thing.

    But make no mistake, I would consider myself as British as someone living in Belgravia, Woking, Birmingham, Cardiff or St Austel. That does not mean that I am not Irish or northern Irish too…. So I felt as much pride watching the queen floating down the river in her barge as the next man. For a country that used to have an empire, why was the thing missing such things as naval ships etc?..

    Many of my fellow Britons will have had their flags out, street parties and such wonderful festivities that are more about celebrating our nation than getting all misty eyed about some geriatric on the throne. Of course most people who associate themselves with a British Identity will be keeping it relatively quiet. Flags over here don't mean the same things they do in GB. Whole streets, shops, hell, even the BMI lounge in Heathrow were all decorated with flags and it was nice. I come back here and of course my knuckle dragging neighbours have their NI and UK flags out… any excuse to try to intimidate. Its pretty obvious they're loyalists, but not you understand, the good sort.

    Personally, I think the queen has done a better job than the alternatives, do we really want a Ken Livingstone, Tony Blair, Boris type as President? Sadly the UK isn't a country like Ireland who elected presidents I can respect, they'd vote for the man with the most money. I'm happy to support a Queen who is above that.. Sadly, she's getting on and that means her son is next… oh dear.

    One thing that this stirs up in me, similar to the poppy issue is that it is such small change that anyone who really gets riled up by this event, really needs their head examined. Face the facts people, some people living here are british and you cannot change that fact… you may disagree, but god, leave them to it.. Same goes the other way round, some are Irish and that isnt going to change.
    Then there are the rest of us who realise that they are a mix of both and arent ashamed to be seen as either.