A: They have a nerve, don’t you think? But no feelings. Imagine naming a kiddies’ park after a well-known terrorist.
B: Who did?
A: The terrorist called Raymond McCreesh. Somewhere around Newry they’ve gone and named a park after him. Probably in retaliation for the loyalist protests about tearing down the flag.
B: But I thought that park got McCreesh’s name in 2001 or something.
B: And nobody objected at the time. Including Danny Kennedy, the deputy leader of the UUP.
A: Well, sometimes it takes time for an outrageous insult to sink in.
B: I’m anti-monarchist myself.
A: What’s that got to do with anything?
B: Well it’s just that when I come into work I have to come over Queen’s Bridge and past the King’s Hall. During lunch-time I sometimes do a bit of shopping in Royal Avenue.
A: What are you suggesting? That the Royal Family are dead terrorists?
B: And then in Dublin there’s Pearse Street and Connolly Station and Heuston Station and Cathal Brugha Street.
A: And your point is?
B: Well, they’re dead terrorists too.
A: No they’re not. They are revered patriots.
A: They gave their lives for their country. After fighting against the British army.
B: And what’s the McCreesh story? I keep forgetting just what it was he did.
A: He fought against the British army in South Armagh and then he ga…Oh very clever, very droll. Ulster is different. No surrender. Not an inch.
B: I see.
A: Long live Maggie Thatcher.
B: Right. Unlike the Belgrano.
A: What’d you say?
B: I said ‘Unlike the Belgrano’. You remember the Argentine light cruiser that was moving away from the conflict zone. Mrs Thatcher gave orders and it was sunk. Over three hundred men died.
A: Yes indeed, and if I might echo her words: rejoice in that.
B: What – in the death of over 300 men?
A: Of course. It was a war. They were trying to take our island. Just because it’s thousands of miles from Britain doesn’t mean it isn’t British.
B: Pat Finucane.
A: I beg your pardon?
B: I said ‘Pat Finucane’. Some people think Thatcher was ultimately responsible for his death.
A: Why, that’s outrageous! Who ever heard of a prime minister giving an order that resulted in someone’s death?
A: Mmm indeed. Perhaps we’ll talk again, when you learn some basic logic. You know, jaw-jaw is always better than war-war.
B: Mmm (exits stage left, pursued by a bear wrapped in a Union flag)