Flags and parading: two modest proposals

 

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So. This is the day. Today we find out how much our politicians are capable of achieving together. However much or little, let’s remember that this is not a collective report. Some may have approached things in a constructive, accommodating manner, some with a dogged determination not to yield an inch of ground. Shouldn’t Haass give them a mark out of ten each? That’d be interesting.

According to reports, it’s flags that is the sticking point. So here’s my suggestion. A group can choose to fly the Union flag or the Tricolour, but they’ll be required to pay for it out of their own pocket. And it should be a significant sum: say £10,000 per flag-fly. Per day. And yes, you can use a public building. Where there’s a conflict – that is, one group wants to fly the Union flag and one wants to fly the Tricolour (and pay), we could hold an auction. Live on TV. The highest bidder gets to fly their flag. All monies so raised would be used for charitable purposes. If you say you value your flag and its flying, please put your money where your mouth is.

That’s flags disposed of. Now parades.  Word is the Parades Commission is to be replaced by another body which will do essentially the same work. And be paid, I assume. So here’s a counter-proposal: ban all marches for five years. Let’s find out what it feels like to live in a society where you don’t have 3,000+ marches every year. Other societies don’t seem to need that number. Marching and uniforms and bands – there’s an undeniable militaristic element to such events. So scrap the lot.  That’s not to say that people shouldn’t be allowed to celebrate whatever event or festival they choose. But do it where you are now. With the help of God and some performancing enhancing drugs, I’ll be running in the Greencastle 5-mile event in Co Tyrone on St Stephen’s Day. But I won’t be conducting some sort of approach march before the big event. I’ll drive there and enjoy ..OK, OK, endure the day. Down with restless legs syndrome, I say. Do it where you live, or travel as a private citizen, not part of a quasi-military outfit.

Radical? Not really. We’d just be finding out how it feels to be normal. Or are our delicate constitutions unable to stand normality?  Yes I know I haven’t ‘dealt’ with the past. You do that.

12 Responses to Flags and parading: two modest proposals

  1. Seán O Maoilmhiadhaigh December 23, 2013 at 9:49 am #

    I’m curious as to how many Republican parades/commemorations there are during the unionist marching season. I’ve never seen a comparison published, but I suspect it would be a fascinating one.

    Happy Christmas to you and your’s.

    • Jude Collins December 23, 2013 at 2:56 pm #

      Go raibh maith agat, Seán. Agus tusa…

  2. neill December 23, 2013 at 12:23 pm #

    I`m getting worried I actually agree with Judes Flag proposal as for his marching proposal…; )

    Btw you and your family have a Great Christmas.

    • Jude Collins December 23, 2013 at 2:57 pm #

      Thanks Neill – you too. With knobs on…

  3. Seán Ó Maoilmhiadhaigh December 23, 2013 at 2:07 pm #

    There was me thinking I had posted my first comment on a Jude Collins article this morning. Hmm, I must’ve done something wrong somewhere?

    Anyway, my question was how many Republican parades are held during the year? I’ve never seen published figures, and it would surely be an interesting comparison.

    Seán.

    • Jude Collins December 23, 2013 at 2:38 pm #

      Sorry if I spammed you, Sean. It happens. Dunno figures but I think it’s something like 150. I think it should be zero.

    • Jude Collins December 23, 2013 at 2:58 pm #

      I take that back, Seán – now your post is so good, it turned up twice…

    • ben madigan December 23, 2013 at 7:14 pm #

      Sean, you’ll find the numbers in the Parades Commission’s annual report which is easily found online. From memory I think the Loyal orders parades account for 60-70% ( around 3-4000 odd). Republican/nationalist parades are about 3% (don’t remember the number) while the others are things like gala occasions and neutral civic parades of some sort. If you look at Northern Ireland – how much do your obsessions cost? on eurofre3.wordpress.com you’ll get some idea of the monetary and social costs of the Orange Parades.

    • ben madigan December 23, 2013 at 7:17 pm #

      Sean, you’ll find the numbers in the Parades Commission’s annual report which is easily found online. From memory I think the Loyal orders parades account for 60-70% ( around 3-4000 odd). Republican/nationalist parades are about 3% (don’t remember the number) while the others are things like gala occasions and neutral civic parades of some sort. If you look at Northern Ireland – how much do your obsessions cost? on eurofree3.wordpress.com you’ll get some idea of the monetary and social costs of the Orange Parades.

      • Jude Collins December 23, 2013 at 11:18 pm #

        Parades Commission have quoted unionist/loyalist parades as 95%…

        • ben madigan December 24, 2013 at 3:49 pm #

          sorry about the double post Jude – you are probably right about the figures. As I said I was speaking from memory. Anyway would like to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very happy Christmas and every success with the new blog format

          • Jude Collins December 24, 2013 at 4:28 pm #

            Go raibh maith agat, b m, agus nollaig shona duit fosta…