Yeah! There they are …..They’re a bit like mushrooms , I suppose.I was having my little daily ramble .You’ve got to make some kind of an effort to exercise those flabby muscles….take that old body for a stroll and ” Get a bit of air around you!” …as my late mother would say.

Well, of course you do, or you’ll soon turn into some twenty stone pudding who’s not fit to get out of the house. The firemen would be taking out a window next, just to get you  and your bed down to the shops….Anyway where was I?…oh yes, mushrooms.

The wooden pallets had appeared overnight. Nobody ever seems to see them arriving, but there they are .We’re not talking about a few either . It’s not like it’s about twenty of them just lying there on the still verdant grass. No .There are hundreds of them there. That might only be the start of it too , because , like coat-hangers in a wardrobe , they seem to exponentially  breed and grow like mamma and daddy mouse’s family  in your attic , if left to their own fertile devices.

Anyway , look at them .They seem to be fine pallets , most of them .They don’t appear to be broken or distorted .You’d almost imagine they were made specifically for this very job. Somebody must have made them and stored them.Were they free? Somebody had to go to the bother of loading them all onto a lorry and putting some diesel into it and then driving those timber frames from their origin to their new home , here on the grass.

That ‘s not all, either . A bunch of youngsters are going to gather up these perfectly fine wooden frames , spend long hours arranging and stacking them  and finally at one great cosmic signal, offering them to the sky gods as a flaming torch. A statement to burn into the  very heavens.

So what’s that all about, then ? A bonfire , you say ? A “good” fire if we’re being a bit “French”….or a “bonie” if you live in the Northern part of Ireland and enjoy burning things.

We’re all paying to set this all up , apparently .We’ll pay our councils to clean up the mess and any damage that might occur when this huge pile of pallets , tyres and old carcinogenic sofas scorch the skies and the surrounding flora, fauna and wildlife …and your PVC door if you’ve the temerity to live  a wee bit  too close.

Like i say , nobody seems to mind that we’ve already paid some nebulous committee to carefully dispose of those tyres and so on  .I paid for mine a couple of months ago , anyway.  It fairly adds to the price of a new tyre! {I had to buy four.}What about all that talk of deforestation and the damage to the ozone ? Oh, I don’t know if any of that matters in Ireland .  That’s all right on the television, but not in real-life.We’re not really connected up to the rest of the world anyway. Those rain forests are a long way away and anyway we’ve got traditions to uphold.

So anyway what would anybody want to do with a few thousand wee wooden planks anyway ?What could you do with them ? You’re safer burning them.

We’ll all be fed shit and kept in the dark and the pallets will just pop up next year anyway …It’s nature, isn’t it? Somebody made a joke about that a long time ago. Pallets appear in the dark.

They grow just like mushrooms……

2 Responses to LIKE MUSHROOMS REALLY by Harry McAvinchey

  1. Francis D June 24, 2014 at 1:30 am #

    The link between Loyalism and ECO Terrosism in the Truest sense of the word is galling at best, or sinister at worst. LAD or “Loyalists Against Democracy” (Parody of Esteem), are effecrive in exposing a “Fleg Culture”, where Taigs are awaited on by hate filled deluded Maggots

    I challenged a celebration of a CIRA member’s demise on LADs Web Page,-for this, I and two others fron the female persuasion where quickly excluded with no recourse to appeal gloating over anyone’s Killing, is sad, and beyond the pale re Humanity….Easily can people, united in disdain for injustice, get carried away on the cresr of a wave, and occasionally, the advocates of these energetic understandings, forget the just fotmations ftom which they swelled. Didagree?…….Say So…….Silence those who don’t….Worse.

  2. paddykool June 24, 2014 at 8:13 am #

    Francis D:
    Now let’s not get too excited here, Francis. Eco -Terrorism and loyalism.? That’s a novel thought. I think the truth is a wee bit more prosaic and is basic at best. Yes, there has been a tradition of bonfires in the North of Ireland , usually as a precursor to the annual July celebrations that have grpwn like a choking ivy over our summers and as years have gone by , have become more and more established in an urban environment that can no longer sustain them .
    It is one thing to light a wee celebratory joyful fire…if even to burn representatives of your very old enemies…like the Guy Fawkes bonfire tradition in England. It’s another thing to build huge, stinking, blazing monuments to sit boozing around at taxpayers expense. Hardly life-inspiring culture. The practice too, is so far from the Eco- Warriors of Greenpeace’s idea of saving the ecology of the planet that the hippy movement of the 1960’s part- inspired. They missed that boat in Ireland too. They were too busy fighting here.
    It’s as if, in Rip Van Winkle style ,a whole community have been sleeping for a hundred years and are having real difficulty adjusting to their new modern world. They are still allowing their children to destroy the planet, or this little part of it. The politicians and police are left to fill in the gaps in their “lost years” , but are coming up as inadequate to the task of bringing them into the modern world.