Paul’s back!


Crikey, he’s back! I thought he’d sort of melted into obscurity. But there it is, in today’s News Letter. Former DUP MLA  Paul Berry is back in the saddle again. As the News Letter so diplomatically puts it, he “left the party in acrimony in 2006 after allegations in a Sunday newspaper”.  But he’s now an independent unionist councillor in Armagh, apparently – why didn’t someone tell me that?  And guess what he’s on about?

“I firmly believe that the unionist community is sick to the teeth of Dublin interference in the internal affairs of Northern Ireland. It is most concerning that the Secretary of State has announced the Dublin government’s involvement in a new round of talks.”

I’ve a soft spot for Paul – he once showed me round the debating chamber in Stormont. But I’m a bit worried he’s presently in Rip Van Winkle territory now. Pssst, Paul! The southern government were involved to the eyebrows in the “internal affairs” of this state since, ooh, nearly twenty years now. Remember the Good Friday Agreement? And how it was an international treaty arrangement thingy? Well, the Irish government were totally involved in that. And sure why wouldn’t they be? Sure they’re Irishmen and women, the same as you and myself, Paul. So of course they’re going to be concerned about what’s happening in the north. Charlie Flanagan can hardly get to sleep some nights just thinking about the place. So while it’s nice to know you’re still in the land of the living, Paul, you’ll simply have to try to catch up. Things have changed since you did that singing number about David Trimble, Dad’s Army-style. All changed, Paul. Changed utterly. You’d hardly know the place.



16 Responses to Paul’s back!

  1. TheHist September 30, 2014 at 7:20 pm #

    A political dinosaur has resurrected! Mr Berry need not worry as he for one won’t be meeting with any Dublin government! Perhaps Mr Berry should read Strand 2 of the GFA – the relationship between the North and the Southern government, the international agreement between his beloved British government and the Irish government. Maybe if he’s up for it and daring, Strand 3 might be worth the read too – the British governments relationship with the South of Ireland government – perhaps this could extinct the “political dinosaurism” of Mr Berry !

  2. paddykool September 30, 2014 at 8:35 pm #

    I know Jude…Must be a blue moon or somesuch….. but Mr. Berry seems to have been dug up again recently. He’s beginning to make the odd squeak in the press of late…. appearing at every photo-op…the odd wee photo-shoot ….Maybe he got an agent….. What was it . He was caught having a massage or somesuch ..back in the day ..and got the boot from the party that bodes no physical pleasure…nor indiscretion….. .Next thing you know he’ll have those wee fish nibbling his toes . They were very popular a few years back . The latest thing in having your toes nibbled and getting rid of that excess skin…nature’s way. He might like a little of that. It was all the rage in Thailand …some time ago…tanks full of wee fish going at it like junior piranhas….chomping away at the bunions… Then again these ex Dupers aren’t really supposed to be enjoying themselves in hedonistic ways . It’s …ungodly…unseemly at best , I imagine… .Getting it on with wee fish might smack a little of beastility…..better not go there !!!

    So he never heard of that Agreement , then? Well that makes perfect sense. He probably thinks the earth is still flat too…y’know , i’m beginning to think the lot of them never heard of that “Agreement”…it sure looks like they want to forget about it . They probably think, like Mr. Berry , that enough time has passed for everyone to have forgotten about it …. Unfortunately some of us have memories like elephants and won’t forget about it anytime soon…..

  3. Perkin Warbeck September 30, 2014 at 9:09 pm #

    To Peter.

    With Paul y’all are not keen to be seen:
    Has the has-been Berry become green?
    Did he end up a Chuckie
    Does he walk like a duckie
    And endlessly repeat ‘Sweet little ’16’?

    • Jude Collins September 30, 2014 at 9:18 pm #

      perkie – I am gasping for breath. You are one FUNNY man!

  4. michael c September 30, 2014 at 10:17 pm #

    An unfortunate choice of words to describe Paul’s comeback Jude!

    • Jude Collins October 1, 2014 at 2:04 pm #

      Once you start on the slipper slope of double entendre, Michael C, there’s no going back…

  5. Dr Michael Hfuhruhurr October 1, 2014 at 10:56 am #

    Is this the same guy that was tempted by the Devil? The same guy that helped coin the phrase “A DUP Sports Massage”……

  6. ANOTHER JUDE October 1, 2014 at 12:35 pm #

    I wonder who Paul is chatting to on his mobile?

  7. Anthony Leisegang October 1, 2014 at 7:27 pm #

    And they say the dinosaurs were wiped out.
    I like the Yeatish bottom line.
    But would he understand?

  8. giordanobruno October 2, 2014 at 11:24 am #

    I can’t decide if its prudery or homophobia giving rise to all the snide comments here.
    Let’s hope none of us have our private lives exposed as Paul Berry did.
    I guess we are all in the gutter but some of us (me) are looking at the stars!

    • Jude Collins October 2, 2014 at 1:55 pm #

      There might be other reasons than prudery or homophobia, gio. I agree with your second sentence; I’d need further proof that you (and your friends?) are looking at the stars…

    • pretzellogic October 2, 2014 at 5:55 pm #


      Was going to give this post a miss to be honest. Reading the replies I could almost hear the giggling as the fingertips caressed the keyboards.

      • paddykool October 2, 2014 at 9:33 pm #

        I think “hypocrisy” might be the word everyone is chasing……politics and hypocrisy are of times good bedfellows….

      • giordanobruno October 3, 2014 at 9:26 am #

        Agreed. The thoughts of an independent councillor would hardly be news normally. But hey there was a whiff of a sex scandal about him once, let’s stick it on the front page.
        And so we get the innuendo;
        “back in the saddle”
        “walks like a duckie”
        “DUP sports massage”
        What century are we living in guys?

        • paddykool October 3, 2014 at 3:20 pm #

          I agree gio….there’s whiff of cheap 1950s homophobia blowing in….

  9. firbolg October 2, 2014 at 9:44 pm #

    Is a berry a fruit?