Peter and Martin and the sin of Gleneagles


There are some very silly things being said about Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness these days. They’ve attended the Ryder Cup in Scotland – and suddenly voiced raised – why aren’t they here, don’t they know how serious the situation is, we don’t pay them to go waltzing off, yamma yamma yoooo.

Dear God. Hasn’t anybody noticed that Stormont isn’t a two-man band? Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness, as well as being First and Deputy First Minister (at the moment, Virginia, at the moment), are also leaders of political parties. Just as in a school, the principal may be gone attending a conference or meeting of School Heads, the work goes on. The children aren’t sent home and the teachers don’t put their feet up. So too with Stormont. The work goes on.

If anything, they might be faulted for not going. By being in Gleneagles together, they are showing Scotland – itself a country divided – showing them the face of unity. How political opponents can stand together and work for the common good. The Ryder Cup has a huge audience, in Europe and the US. What better platform to show the two leaders standing shoulder-to-shoulder?

And just as many’s a deal has been done on the golf course, who’s to say that the cooler, more detached setting of Gleneagles taking the place of the bubbling cauldron that Stormont’s become – who’s to say this atmosphere mightn’t deliver the agreement we all need? It wouldn’t be the first time our politicians have found discussion easier in an overseas setting.

7 Responses to Peter and Martin and the sin of Gleneagles

  1. RJC September 29, 2014 at 10:01 am #

    If nothing else we live in interesting (if frustrating) times. A close call in the Scottish referendum, a possible split in the DUP, Westminster elections next year, Dáil ones the year after, and now the latest round of talks with input from Irish and British governments. This deadlock here in the North can’t last forever. Can it?

  2. ANOTHER JUDE September 29, 2014 at 11:15 am #

    I agree, if Peter can have a Damascus moment on the green, so to speak, then we are all winners. His jets have definitely been overheating recently. Getting away from Gregory and Nigel and co. and spending some time relaxing might be good news for us all.

  3. Iolar September 29, 2014 at 11:16 am #

    The class in Stormont are not behaving themselves and the school orchestra is not in harmony. Ms Villiers and Mr Flanagan do not know the score. Mr Nesbitt has started blowing his own trumpet and will not play any foreign compositions. Mr Campbell continues to beat his own drum and refuses to entertain, L’amour des Trois Oranges for the Christmas concert. It is intended that a male voice choir will bring the curtain down with a multilingual rendition of The Parting Glass. Petitions of concern are prohibited before, during and after the concert. Admission to the concert is free of charge.

  4. Perkin Warbeck September 29, 2014 at 11:36 am #

    Mention of Gleneagles and the latest outbreak of the Golf War is all that PW needs. Before that which he is still pleased to call his ‘mind’ immediately swoops down on the splendid course designed by a Dublin man whose first name is, naturally, Jack.

    Alright, Jack Nicklaus is a Dublin, Ohio man. Perkie is well used to this kind of nitpicking whenever it comes to the Royal and Ancient.

    Continuing on in this pernickety mode Gleneagles has actually nothing to do with ‘eagles’. Or indeed, does it deserve to be called ‘Glenbirdies’ or ‘Glenbogeys’ or indeed ‘Glenparanoia’ itself. In fact, like most placenames in the lands where the leprechauns once trooped freely together in red jacket, green cap and white owl’s feather, Gleneagles is a corruption of the original place name in the Scots-Gaelic: Gleann na h-Eaglaise/ Valley of the Kirk.

    No matter, no hush was ever so reverential in a kirk as that which descends upon a gallery at a golf course whenever a crucial putt is being lined up in the process of being put to the test.

    ‘Gimme that old style religion, but in plaid pants, please’ ,Perkie pleads.

    As one who was Superglued to the box all over the weekend in thrall to both stick – wielding sports, Pekie in vain failed to catch even a fleeting glimpse of a ‘reluctant Nationalist’ who was spotted in the vicinity of the golf course (in the run up to the Referendum) or at the hurling park itself, hard by the ancient Royal Canal.

    One refers to the phenomenal Fintan, the lowest-handicapped intellectual on Planet Thought. The in-depth commentator who delights in scratching below the surface (one almost wrote Sourface !)..

    Alas, his recent musings on being a ‘reluctant Nat.’ have not been followed through. More’s the pity because this has led Perkie to indulge in his own ‘musings’ which is the equivalent of a divot on Planet Thought. And a dirty big divot at that.

    To which political philosophy has the phenomenal Fintan reverted to in order to play a precautionary ball? To help in the search of the rough, Perkie focused on the movie called ‘The Caddy’ in which Jerry Lewis played the eponymous role to that of Dean Martin.

    One wondered who was cast in the role of Paddy the Caddy in the two ball featuring Peter and Martin. Perkie fancies Peter, for the role calls for a keenly honed sense of humour. An excellent qualification which enabled Peter to follow Yon Big Mon who, in his time, played the front nine of the ‘The Chuckle Brothers’. The tag line for ‘The Caddy’ was ‘Goofy Golfers win the ‘laughter’ cup !’.

    To add a rider, as it were, at this juncture: Martin is obviously cut out for the role which calls for him to sing the signature song of the fillum: ‘That’s Amore’. Peter is patently not equipped to croon such a toon as his upbringing would have nurtured him from an early age to moon as all things Italian, including Roman, from red socks to pizza-pies..

    This viewing has been helpful to Perkie in his search to find the phenomenal Fintan’s political philosophy. But more rooting around the rough was required. Like forensically analysing his recent review of the Borstal Boy. Now, Fintan being a Crumlin lad like Brendan Behan this surely went a long way towards playing a stormer in his review, a brain-stormer, as it were.

    Quotation number 1, caddy:

    ‘ The worst thing you can do to a terrorist is not to execute him’.

    Quotation number 2, caddy:

    ‘Or to waterboard him, or to render him to Guantanemo’.

    Quotation number 3, caddy:

    ‘No, the worst thing you can do to a terrorist…is to preserve your own better values’.

    Wow ! It’s in ! An eagle in Gleneagles for the rookie known as Perkie !!!!

    For now he has marked the phenomenal Fintan’s card for him. In the column designated ‘political philosophy’ he has scribbled:


    Perkie must away now, for he can no longer tarry.

  5. ANOTHER JUDE September 29, 2014 at 1:40 pm #

    Maybe Mister Northern Arland will have a Damascus moment, on the green as it were.His jets have been overheating for a while now so getting away from the likes of Gregory and Sammy and co. might be a good thing. He definitely wants to leave Nigel behind, in case a flying golf ball lands on him.

    • Virginia September 30, 2014 at 1:16 am #

      Virginia wants to know if a Damascus moment equals a “Come to Jesus meeting” varying Christian traditions leading to to varying wordings.

  6. ANOTHER JUDE September 29, 2014 at 1:44 pm #

    Oops….I must have taken a hit from a flying golf ball myself…..