A New Dawn by Harry McAvinchey


Dawn was just cusping.That beautiful half-light, neither darkness nor light at all. It was freezing too ; the spiky hackles of whitened sparkling grass were tearing  at my boots. I really wished that I’d worn some sort of hat …any kind of hat; my head was so cold. I should have dried my hair properly after that shower; what was left of  it was freezing into a solid pompadour. I had to get out though .It had been raining for five days and all we’d done was eat and drink .All that rich Christmas food was fine and dandy but it’s always regretted afterwards.Every year is the same . I think I’ve put on five pounds.Is that possible in five days? That’s like five pounds of butter! Is it really so easy to slip over the edge? I needed a bit of exercise all right….back to the old routine…..

Back to walking . It frees up the old brain too. I was thinking about North Korea and that whole carry-on about the film being banned.The Talks  in norneverland ended in a fuzzy fudge as expected so my mind moved on to something else until some other nonsense blows up.Did you hear about that  North Korean hissy- fit just as the annual  Christmas madness was settling in and the Norneverland Talks were buried in  a mountain of frivolity?

The film is called “The Interview” and is an American political comedy directed by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg . The  film stars Rogen and  James Franco as journalists instructed to assassinate North Korean leader Kim Jong-un after booking an interview with him. It  may not be the greatest comedy ever made .I haven’t seen it and it may yet  become an “underground” cult film .It received mixed reviews from  various critics who did get the opportunity to see it but it has been effectively censored for the general public worldwide.

In June 2014, the North Korean government threatened “merciless” action against the United States if the film’s distributor, Columbia Pictures, went ahead with the release. Columbia delayed the release from October 10th  to December 25th , and reportedly edited the film to make it more acceptable to North Korea. In November, the computer systems of parent company Sony Pictures Entertainment were hacked by the “Guardians of Peace”, a group the FBI believes has ties to North Korea. After leaking several other then-upcoming Sony films and other sensitive internal information, the group demanded that Sony pull The Interview, which it referred to as “the movie of terrorism”. On December 16th, 2014, the Guardians of Peace threatened terrorist attacks against cinemas that played The Interview.”

This was apparently a “Big Deal” and the same kind of stink that was kicked up  in Norneverland over the Gay Cake Debacle or the Banned Theatrical Show , issued forth like some  rotten censorious gas.Suddenly this was world news. The President of the United States of America was involved

On December 17th, after a number of major North American cinema chains canceled screenings in the interest of safety, Sony canceled the theatrical release of “The Interview”, drawing criticism from the media, Hollywood figures and U.S. President Barack Obama.

After initially stating that it had no plans to release the film, Sony made “The Interview” available for online rental on December 24, and via a limited release at selected cinemas on December 25.

A trip to the cinema….Just the very thing to do on a Christmas Day when you ‘d otherwise be lying semi-comatose , nearly- raddled with food and fine wines, on your sofa, gently emitting your own kind of post -prandial seepage.

The film  will doubtless filter into many homes via Pirate Bay or one of the many cyber-buccaneer  outreaches connected to them , so we’ll all eventually get a look at this Depraved Production sometime. There’s really no bad publicity, is there? As the ubiquitous saying goes …”It’s all good”. The kind of drumming up of interest could not be done better than when it involves the leaders of two different nations.P.T.Barnum would be clapping his hands in joy.

The question that was tumbling through the alleyways of of my near-frozen brain, as I walked. was, why would the North Koreans and their Great Leader be remotely interested in a  film made in capitalistic  America? Why would they want to watch a film made in Hollywood when that place should be anathema to them? We are led to believe that North Korea has barely enough electrical power to burn streetlights at night .It is a black dark place when photographed from space , as far as I am aware …. they insist on a Splendid Isolation and have barely enough electricity to switch on the cooker….Yet here we have them worrying about Hollywood films and actually watching them. It’s not as if films haven’t been made about the assassination or attempts thereof of other world leaders.My favourite , off the top of my head  , would be “The Day of the Jackal” from 1973 where James Fox’s character tries his damnedest , with some inventive skills involving various disguises and gadgetry, to kill Charles De Gaulle the French president. As far as I can recall , the French didn’t kick up much of a fuss.

My feeling is that Kim Jong-un  needs to switch off his DVD player and take himself out for a good long pre-dawn walk. It might clear his head and give him a little perspective.Some of our politicians  in Norneverland could do a whole lot worse too. Here comes the New Year…just like the ol……

2 Responses to A New Dawn by Harry McAvinchey

  1. Perkin Warbeck December 29, 2014 at 7:45 pm #

    Mention of North Korea, Harry, brings to mind a suburb of Dublin (Eireland, not Texas) which was nicknamed ‘Little Korea’ as its construction coincided with what became known as the Korean War. Though it could just as easily have been called Little Texas.

    Back-story tellers, aka, historians are still divided to this day as to which Korea was the more lethal place, Big or Little.

    Perkie’s inner Patrick Moore knows this because he witnessed the construction of this somewhat disturbing burb from the turrets of Warbeck Towers, at, of course, a safe distance. In other words, through the lens of a pre-Lovell telescope which was the biggest steerable dish radio in the world at the time with a diameter of 250 ft.

    Anything less, and the Dowager Dame Warbeck would have forbidden any unseemly peering by Warbeck Minor: ‘One cannot afford to be seen to be consorting with those Little Koreans even at a distance of 250 miles’.

    That’s how Perkie came to be scoping even before the term had been invented.

    While the territorial integrity of Little Korea has remained inviolate to this day Big Korea of course has been split down the middle along the 38th parallel, into North and South.

    The two most famous sons of the Koreas, North and Little, are Kim Jong-un and Joe Duffy, respectively. Quite amazingly (or not ) both Jong-un and Joe boast characteristics which run parallel to each other’s on – yes ! – 38 different counts.

    Everything from A for Authoritarian to Y for Y ?

    (Linguistic note: Y is as far as one goes as there is no Z in the North Korean dialect.’ Y?’ is how Joe pronounces ‘Why? ‘ It’s a Little Korean idiosyncrasy)

    As regards the Authoritarian thing the maj would probably plump for Jong-un as the brand leader here. The min know better. Ever try to ‘talk to Joe’ with a view askew from the orthodox?

    Hair wise, it is said that both Jong-un and Joe do their own DIY barbering.

    Of the 38 parallels, sum.

    Both Kim J. and J.Duffy get huffy
    When a serf dares to act toughie
    Both Joe D.’n Kim
    Need go to a gym
    If the pair wish to look less puffy.

  2. paddykool December 30, 2014 at 10:55 am #

    Oh Mighty Perk …You’ve cheered me up no end.I was in the post-prandial doldrums. My feminine offspring having sucked the booze cabinet , the fridge and the larder ..dry…and mostly departed .I am sitting in the debris and scattered crumbs of the Christmas repast…eyeing the mountain of empty bordeaux bottles that some poor blighter will have to re-cycle…..Have a happy new year old bean.