There’s a rhythm to it all .There ‘s something of a political lull in Norneverland so they’re on the radio discussing things like bins and recycyling waste again. It’ll not be long before the conversation wends to kicking a can down the road and discussing people dropping litter ,or errant dog- owners allowing wee Fifi or Snookums to shit willy-nilly on the pavement. I currently have four waste bins at the moment. All colour-coded, mind. There are brown , grey, blue and black ones and there’s always the possibility that there’ll be even more to come.
I’ll need a bigger enclosure out there beside the oil-tank. Two of them are wheelie bins and two of them are boxes. There is one for general household waste and one for garden compost.Then there’s one for glass and cardboard and one for paper and cans.It’s quite an exercise to remember which items go where . When senility finally claims me , I could be arrested by the Waste Police….There is also some arcane instruction as to the disposal of batteries and a few other extraneous bits and pieces that escape me at the moment ..My one recommendation would be that the bin for wine bottles would be a little bigger.The powers- that- be should give some consideration to those retired folks with all that free time on their hands to indulge their bibulous desires…and the consequences of that ….anyway…
The DUP { that’s the Democratic Unionist Party} are crying “foul” that they’ve not been invited to take part in any forthcoming television debates involving the Tories , Labour and the Liberals concerning the upcoming Westminster elections. They argue that they are quite a big party in terms of representation. They haven’t considered though, that nobody in the rest of the UK actually know anything about them, want to listen to them at all … and that they are avidly ignored by the majority of the general population in the UK.
“Who are these people ?”… will be the cry. They’d be safer keeping that bright light hidden under the proverbial bushel ,saying nothing and keeping shtum at all costs , because if the general populace ever discover that they been landed with a huge superating parasite called Norneverland, busily sucking down their life’s blood like a varroa mite on a honeybee, they might start up with some very noisy questions.
I dare say that if you asked the man in the street anything about Norneverland , they’d be hard-pressed to give any answers. Some of the older inhabitants might have some vague memory of the killing spree of some twenty years ago, but unless they had some military connection, the end years of the twentieth century in Norneverland , meant very little to them anyway. If the DUP want to encourage thoughts of a future United Ireland, they couldn’t do any better than wheeling on their squad of glum , stoic visages. They could then tell the rest of the UK about their support for Creationism., their fear of foreigners, their avid hatred of homo-sexuals, their love of censorship…and on …and on …and on. Oh they’d make a mark alright, but not necessarily in the way they’d want to . It would be akin to awakening.a sleeping dragon.If the British people actually realised how much it costs to keep Norneverland in the comparative luxury that we avidly enjoy, compared to the poor taxpayer across the Irish Sea, they might actually ask themselves why they should bother doing that at all.
Most watching would be dumbstruck at the near -medieval beliefs in the Old Testament and the belief that the world was only 6000 years old.They’d be amazed at the support for religious bigotry,anti-culturalism and the way that the much -heralded agreements made between the two tribes had never been implemented and were really only a bit of window -dressing to isolate the crazier gun-toting elements and allow their own British Boys some freedom to travel further afield and fight wars in a warmer climate instead.
Maybe it’s not time to indulge in any dodgy “debates”…They’d be safer re-reading “Gulliver’s Travels” or “Alice Through the Looking Glass”.
Great Jude although you missed a few of the other absurdities, like the MLA putting a towel over the budgie cage on a Sunday, lest the budgie swinging would violate the Sabbath and locking up the playgrounds in Belfast on a Sunday and then there’s the weird initiation ritual for entrance to The Orange Order, the ‘goat thingy’. I could go on but you know it all. That place they love with its own share of weird rituals, as seen in the House of Lords, would be aghast or would they?
Hello Mary – thanks for your thoughts. But do direct them to Harry, the sole author and progenitor of that particular blog…
The “goat thingy ” has me intrigued , Mary …nothing to do with wellington boots and sheep , i hope?
am i the only person that objects working as an unpaid waste sorter?
DUP unlikely to be given airtime despite threats of legal challenges
Roger Mosey, a former editorial director of BBC TV News, said the political debate in Northern Ireland should be kept separate.
“If you put the DUP in, you’ve then got the SDLP, Sinn Féin, the Alliance, the official unionists and that really is Northern Ireland politics which doesn’t translate to the whole of the UK,” he said.http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-30949900
Ben, ..I see they’re all jumping on the bandwagon now…all wanting into the debate…..all game for a laugh!!! I’m sure Our Great Joint /Leader had his tongue firmly in cheek when he rattled that particular cage… . Maybe we’re missing a very deliberate dry sense of humour on his part….or maybe not!!!!! Surely he knows nobody is going to listen to him in the Big Country across the Norneverland Sea.
Margaret Thatcher 10th November 1981:
“Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom; as much as my constituency is.”
TV Election Debates in 2015?