Why does it always have to be some kind of contest? This carry- on about the Irish language has  political pundits exercised again. It ‘ s like the rutting season with all the politicos bashing  their mossy antlers.Huffing themselves up into election mode. That holds especially true with unionist politicians at the moment .There’s no sky -blue thinking coming from our Creationist ranks  but there’s plenty of old tired, stale guffery . The latest  mad notion is  about the Irish language. Apparently it  is all a republican plot …specifically a Big Sinn Fein / IRA Plot to steal away loyalism and unionism’s identity. As if this identity was a box of sweets that someone could steal and as if the IRA was still in operation..It seems that some people have short memories.The IRA is no longer an item at all.That story came to an end .As the song says …”We drove that old car as long as we could…and abandoned it out west”{go on…spot the reference}…. These same people still think there is a war raging because no-one told them that the world outside had moved on in this past twenty years.It’s a bit like the Japanese soldiers still fighting the war in the jungles , years  after it had ended and everyone has long-since started  buying Japanese cars.

Where do they get this stuff? Do they sit in darkened corners and just dream it up because there’s nothing constructive to say about anything else?  What was the phrase  the DUP ‘s Nelson McCausland  came up  with ..something along the lines of “weaponising” the Irish  gaelic tongue so that it would forever be a bitter medicinal compound for any True Blue Brit to swallow without gagging.  He says this kind of thing with a straight face too.How come? It’s a language , that’s all…. and it’s part of the Nationalist agenda to give it some recognition.Many Nationalists were taught it at school with English Language , Latin and French… That’s all.  Many Unionists may never have had that opportunity.Now’s their chance.We’re not all suddenly going to start  talking in Irish overnight, anyway . Irish has a long pedigree and many see it as a defining part of their cultural picture so there’s not much point squealing about your culture being denigrated when you in turn denigrate the other fellow’s. It’s not some big scheme to get one over on you other guys . Nobody’s really bothered about you guys wanting to learn your Ulster Scots..We’ll readily support you if you want to do that. This isn’t about you at all. Why is it always me, me, me , me? There’s always someone  out trying to do  them down…these wee paranoid lambs .

Look . if you feel strongly about taking up the public speaking of Swahili…get to it ! We’ll all support you in that too. It’ll not do you any harm. I mightn’t be that interested in it but then again there’s not enough time in my world to go back and polish up on my schoolboy Irish. If I really pushed it ,I wouldn’t mind learning a little more French and maybe a bit more Latin but the truth is,  I’ve enough on my plate  these days ,what with writing, drawing, painting , playing a bit of guitar and keeping my honeybees …not to mention a little time for the garden…and all those other little things in life…like living …that really I’m not that bothered …or “bovvered”…to coin a well-worn phrase….So whatever floats your boat…get on with it as long as  it doesn’t involve insulting someone else or breaking the laws of the land.

So why are these people so all-fired, bothered by what some Nationalists want to do ? It’ll not do them  any harm one way or the other, so why are you making such a big deal about it? Their skin will not turn fifty shades of green overnight.The worst that could happen would be that they might be tempted to learn something new.That’s hardly a bad result.

Every week there’s  someone  crying some  nonsense about “culture”,  when in reality , most of the ones bleating about it wouldn’t know a Chagall from a  Bonnard or their arse from a hole in the road….culture …smulture!!

4 Responses to I HOPE THIS PARANOIA ISN’T CATCHING by Harry McAvinchey

  1. ben madigan February 19, 2015 at 7:54 pm #

    why are these people so all-fired, bothered by what some Nationalists want to do ?
    because nationalists want to do it differently – and these people fear a different way of thinking, loss of control, power etc

  2. Iolar February 19, 2015 at 8:44 pm #

    Scéal thairis/A red herring

    Where do they get this stuff, I hear you ask? Faigh duit féin é, tine agus ruibh (Fire and brimstone, get it for yourself.) Alternatively, as Mark Twain once remarked, “Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.”

  3. RJC February 19, 2015 at 11:51 pm #

    ‘There was music in the cafés at night / And revolution in the air’

    We are living through interesting times, and it seems somehow fitting that Dylan lyrics written 40+ years ago continue to have relevance in Ireland today.

    I can never quite figure out what weird game Gerry Adams is playing, but his ‘Trojan Horse’ comments a few months back seem to have intensified Unionist paranoia a hundred fold. For many of our neighbours ‘equality’ seems to have become a dirty word. ‘Culture wars’ are apparently taking place and everything from gay marriage to the Irish language is viewed as some sort of sinister Republican plot. Sadly, Unionism seems to have adopted an ‘if you’re not with us, you’re against us’ mentality, so anybody who supports equality, modernity, shared spaces and human rights is considered to be a fully paid up Provo. They had their chance, and in modern parlance, ‘blew it’.

    ‘As the present now, will later be past
    The Order is rapidly fading
    And the first one now, will later be last
    For the times they are a-changin’

    • paddykool February 20, 2015 at 12:23 pm #

      Very good RjC ..well spotted…what about this one..?

      .”How far are you all going ?” Ruby asked us with a sigh
      “We’re going all the way until the wheels fall off and burn
      Until the sun peels the paint and the seat covers fade and the water moccasin dies”
      Ruby just smiled and said. “Ah you know some babies never learn”.