TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE BRAIN by Harry McAvinchey

 

eclipse 1

Oh dear !!

The world is just ending . Not a bird is speaking outside .All is still as the moon blocks out the sun forever. The animals are silent .They fear that daylight may never return. Another night , so soon after dawn.Some humans staring at the sky , blinding themselves in the process ,fear too, that daylight may never return, either .Something must have annoyed the sun- god .There is an eclipse afoot. The moon is currently blocking out the sun’s light. I see spots in front of my eyes .Have I done some retinal damage here? They warned us all not to look at the sun but everyone  ignored them, as they do with most public health warnings , stole a sneaky peek anyway and the spots are dancing in front of their eyes now.

Meanwhile, on the radio the near- mythical Mrs White has been loaded onto the airwaves in an attempt to bring some humour into the darkness and  is inferring that teenage sex never existed in her schooldays during the 1970’s and that it was all a dastardly plot now by feminists and the like.. The poet Philip Larkin believed that sex first reared its unwholesome head during the 1960’s.

“Sexual intercourse began

In nineteen sixty-three

(which was rather late for me) –

Between the end of the “Chatterley” ban

And the Beatles’ first LP.”

Excuse me while I switch on this desklamp. I’m having trouble seeing the letters on the keypad. It’s 9.20 on a Friday morning but the sun has been momentarily turned off.

So, when should children be instructed about the messy intricacies of sexual education? Apparently quite a high number of teenagers in Norneverland  have received contraceptive implants and there is a discussion ongoing about the morality of this action. It is believed  these teenagers are so  sexually active that they need to be prepared for the tussle of sexual combat and companionship , at all times…..ever-ready for connubial action.

I had to ask myself what planet  people  like Mrs White live  on .Teenagers have always been sexually active .As soon as their hormones take hold , it’s action stations everywhere. Didn’t Jerry Lee Lewis..the “Killer”,   of rock and roll infamy , marry his fourteen year old cousin way back in the mists of the late 1950’s or early 1960’s. I can only  assume that in the Deep Southern States of America ,sexual activity must begin around this age and at the time, was quite a lawful social activity. Of course there are different customs and cultures throughout the world.

Mrs White thinks there’s a conspiracy going on to sexualise the minds of the children of the nation. I really don’t think the children need any help in that respect . There’s more information available at our children’s fingertips  than there has ever been at any time in human history. Even if there wasn’t, curious children and teenagers would sift through what was available and find those well-thumbed pages of illicit text.The book will always fall open at the most interesting bits. It was ever thus…..

Did n’t most of us in the 1960’s try our hardest to leave our teenage years by at least  attempting some sexual activity. It  was considered lucky  to achieve any of that joy and most schoolboys thought  it the only viable achievement to pursue. Gaining “A” levels or glory in sport ,  ran in  very poor second and third places . I recall it was  a vaguely competitive thing  among the boys of my class at school . There were some who boasted of many conquests and possibly were successful in some and those who had obviously never had any at all ,but wished they had. Most of us  fell somewhere in -between, fumbling at teenage parties and  short  true-love- alliances, to discover what all the fuss was about .Some us us left those teenage years with a smidgen of experience and some still   yearned to join that  seeming, adventurous group. Contraception was something that was only  furtively available  in chemist shops but it took some brass neck to buy condoms back then .There was much sniggering and innuendo involved .For the most part, said prophalectics were as rare as hens’ teeth; possibly only available in the toilets of some mythical garage, in some distant town. Unlike today where they can be bought with the milk at the local shop or in  the toilets of any pub..So much for the Swinging Sixties…

It was finally ,  generally and socially  deemed that knowledge and contraception were a better option than naivety, sexual illiteracy and lack of control.The Mrs Whites of this world will always see a negative when the positive is staring them in the face.There has been an eclipse of another sort. Another sort of perception. Another way of looking at the world .Another way of seeing things.

Then the sun came back up again and the birds let rip with song….I can turn that light back off.

Oh Happy Day!!

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