“Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You’ll have bad times, and he’ll have good times
Doin’ things that you don’t understand”
By Tammy Wynette
So Arlene Foster , our esteemed First minister , is a victim then. She’s one of the million of us who had to live through the past forty years of nonsense, so I suppose she is a victim..Oh we feel her pain. We really do. There she was on television being interviewed by Sky News crying about how hard it was to be a woman.Well, we’ve heard that one a million times already .Hasn’t she ever heard of Women’s Liberation? She ‘s one of those few women who actually crashed through that glass-ceiling and gained the toppermost job at the poppermost position in local society and now she’s still not satisfied. She’s not fulfilled . She wants to be loved too.Well , it doesn’t work like that.To get to the toppermost of the poppermost , you have to either be led by the hand by a worthy mentor or you have to be as tough as old boots and it doesn’t really matter what sex you might be. So what’s it going to be, Arlene ? Are you as tough as an old boot or have you been led by the hand?
“They’re all getting at me because I’m a woman!”, she cried.I suppose they gave Peter Robinson hell because he was a woman too ! !It was nothing to do with his wife’s dubious behaviour or that NAMA and Red Sky business at all, apparently .It was all because he was a transgender lady who had dressed up as a man and sneaked into the DUP. He was always experimenting with his “look”. Remember the comb-over hairstyle he used to sport and that lovely red beret he wore to bring out the colour of his eyes and his feminine side. I hadn’t realised that Peter was also a victim until just now.Then again, it never occured to me that Raymond Burr who used to play “Perry Mason” and the wheelchair -bound “Ironsides” was gay , either…..and then there was Rock Hudson….you just never realise , do you?Aw sure …aren’t we all victims , living here in this crazy land where logic took a holiday long ago and forgot to come back.
Arlene cried that she’s always been a victim.Oh , she used to pretend she was a strong woman but that was all a sham. She admitted just before Christmas that she’d alweays been bullied by menfolk as she climbed the greasy pole of politics. She said that one of her good friends in the DUP bullied her and everybody else for years , but like a good feminist she never mentioned it to anyone. She kept it all inside until it festered. Somewhere it was bound to explode. Back in the bad old days during the war, long, long ago ,her school bus was attacked by bad men and her daddy was killed too. Her’s is a sad story alright .It’s a story like a thousand other stories in Norneverland , Ireland.It makes you wonder why she joined a party led by the man who started the war in the first place. She’s a bit of an odd one, alright.Anyone else might have run a mile to get away from people like that; not a tough cookie like Arlene. Maybe she thought she could change him. You know what women are like.They meet a nice fellow and the first thing they begin to do is re-style the poor fellow into something else.
Then again, who can figure out the female heart? I have a wife and three daughters and I still wouldn’t know where to start with that one .
She should try being a man for a day or two, I say.