THE MAGIC MONEY TREE

 

Legend has it that when Jack of Giant-Killer fame initially returned from the market after swapping their best cow for a piddling little bag of beans, his mother was not best pleased . I dare say that in those long-ago non- politically correct Norneverland days that she probably clipped him about the ears with he wooden rolling pin before he took to his bed, after throwing his little bag of legumes out of the pantry window and howling fit to burst at his knuckleheadedness..
Well ,you can see her point , can’t you .It seemed like a pitiable return for a good milker .Jack and his mother were more than surprised when the beans grew overnight into a mighty cloud-straddling bean-plant that climbed and stalked up into space. He never gave it a second thought when he began to climb up through its writhing foliage.
The Tories have done something similar within this past three weeks . I recall in debates mere days ago , the delighful tory- in -waiting- with- sharpened -knife , Amber Rudd ,squealing that there was no Magic Money Tree that Jeremy Corbyn could shake to allay austerity . She said that bank notes would not simply flutter down. Yet ,within mere weeks the seeds have been found , the garden soil tilled, the fertiliser, sun and rain applied and ” Hey presto!” …a Magic Money Tree has been grown right up to the skies, each branch dripping with lovely loot to be picked before it blows away in the Autumn winds.. Jack knew eventually, that there was always a price to be paid for dabbling in magical practices, such a growing money trees and that price was the slaying of a notorious giant who hoarded his loot up there in the clouds .Eventually he scrambled home with a few golden eggs but he decided rightly to chop down the huge magical bean -stalk before the notorious giant followed him home.
The Tories have paid off the Democratic Unionist Party for their “loyalty”with some of this magical money, to the tune of one billion pounds . Part of that was to allay the losses of some £500 million that the previous DUP First Minister Of Norneverland had lost in her crazy Loot for Soot RHI boiler scheme. This tidy mercenary backhander will have repercussions in Scotland , Wales and England who already want the Tories to start shaking that money tree for them too .They are finally aware that the DUP’s loyalty to the union has a price which impacts on them personally .They appear to be asked to continue living in austerity and poverty in this union of equals while their neighbours continue to live off the fat of the land.
As Jack found out , magic has its own price. The short-sighted , money-grabbing actions of the DUP may have done more to damage their precious union in the eyes of their neighbours than anything any republican could ever do.

3 Responses to THE MAGIC MONEY TREE

  1. fiosrach June 27, 2017 at 12:24 pm #

    Harry, when you’re breezing down the four lane Foster Freeway to Fear Manach I hope you will be gracious enough to remember whose shrewd politicking got the money for it.

    • paddykool June 27, 2017 at 1:20 pm #

      I’m not so sure about “smart politicking”, fiosrach . Let’s face it, the DUP had their big brothers over a barrel on this one and it is only their fear of Labour that exercised them . The Tories are in the invidious position that they ‘d probably have paid any price to stay in power until they can find someone foolhardy enough to take May’s place. If the Magic Money Tree could provide a cool £billion, they could probably have found another 2 or 3Billion had they been pressed hard enough.The fact is it suited them both anyway and the £Billion was the compromise agreed on .The bigger mystery is really where they found the money for the bung to do it at all ,after crying poverty for so long …that Billion could simply have been used for something else nearer home . It’s magic…innit?

  2. ANOTHER JUDE June 28, 2017 at 6:02 am #

    The DUP are obsessed by money, money has been at the heart of the many scandals they have been involved in. Even Iris’s good old fashioned sex scandal had a money angle. So it is no surprise that old Weak and Wobbly May has found some loose change down the back of the sofa. My only concern is with the DUP craven mentality to their English masters. They would bend over backwards to have Trident over here.