Person 1: I’m so disappointed.
Person 2: Oh. About what?
Person 1: Felicity Huffman.
Person 2: Who’s she?
Person 1: She’s the Desperate Housewives star.
Person 2: And why are you disappointed in her?
Person 1: She’s admitted to bribing college officials to get her daughter into a prestige US university.
Person 2: Dirty work at the crossroads, then. Tut-tut.
Person 1: But at least Netflix have done the right thing.
Person 2: Which is?
Person 1: They’ve postponed release of a romantic comedy starring Huffman as soon as they heard the news.
Person 2: Rotten actor, then, this Huffman person.
Person 1: No, she’s a very good actor,I think. But she bribed to get her kid into college.
Person 2: So if it’s screened later,will you watch it?
Person 1: No! How could I watch a film featuring a dishonest actor?
Person 2: Mmm. By the way – I hear you’re having trouble with the old stomach.
Person 1: I am indeed. Due for an operation next month.
Person 2: Oh, sorry to hear that. Who’s scheduled to do the operation?
Person 1: Entwhistle.
Person 2: Oh, well you’ll be in good hands. I’m told Entwhistle is a brilliant surgeon – recognized as such world-wide.
Person 1: Except I’ve asked that he not perform the operation.
Person 2: You shock me. Why?
Person 1: He’s been accused of using sexist language.
Person 2: Not nice. Bit of a dinosaur, then.
Person 1: That would be putting it mildly.
Person 2: But a brilliant surgeon.
Person 1: Yes, but that’s not the point. The point is he’s been accused of sexist language.
Person 2: And so you won’t let him operate on you.
Person 1: Correct.
Person 2: Who’s going to be doing it?
Person 1: Dr Murgatroyd.
Person 2: Murgatroyd! But he’s known as the Butcher of Belfast!
Person 1: I know. But his attitude to persons of the opposite gender is impeccable. I will be in the hands of a good man.
Person 2: Have you considered consulting a psychiatrist? Before you make a final decision?
Person 1: Why would I need to do that?
Person 2: Well…Oh look – my bus. Good luck with the Butcher.
Person 1; Thank you. I feel confident I’ve made the right call. A man who doesn’t respect women shouldn’t be allowed near an operating theatre.
Person 2: Mmm. Toodle-pip.
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