Snaps 1-5:
igital Camera
In Malta cats not only enjoy the morning, but also noon and night as well. And as Snaps 1,2 and 3 are self-explanatory one will devote a few words to just snaps 4 and 5. (Shut up, down at the back of the class: there’s a rule for every molecule and an exception to every rule and you’re a truly exceptional tool, McMule!).
(Griangrafanna 1-5)
Ni amháin gur féidir le cait sult a bhaint as an mhaidin i Malta, ach tig leo an rud céanna a dhéanamh ag meánlae agus ag meánoiche chomh maith. Os rud é go bhfuil an chéad trí ghriangraf féinmhínitheach (Druid do bhéal ag bun an ranga ! Tá riail ann do gach moilín agus tá eisceacht ann ar gach riail agus is úirlis fhíor-eisceachtúil tusa, MacMiúil !) díreofar amháin ar ghriangrafanna 4 agus a 5.
In ancient Egypt cats were considered sacred and when they died were mumified. Malti, the national language of Malta, is rooted in Arabic and this may be a factor for the favourable position of the feline. In every parish in Malta, for sure, and sometimes in every street of every parish can be found what might be considered a cat dole office, where nosh rather than dosh is doled out. They are instanttly recognisable, usually taking the shape of a few cracked plates on a low wall close to a corner.
In Éigipt san anallod glacadh leis an cat mar ainmhí beannaithe agus deineadh é a mhumú tar éis a bháis. Tá Malti, teanga náisiúnta an oileáin, fréamaithe san Araibís agus gach seans go bhfuil baint éigin ag an stair sin le stádas fabhrach an phoir fheilínigh. I ngach paroiste i Malta, go cinnte, agus uaireanta i ngach sráid i ngach paroiste, faightear an feiniméan a d’fhéadfaí oifig doil na gcat a bhaisteadh orthu mar a dhéantar an stuif a shuimíonn na puint mheáchain seachas puint a dháileadh amach. Aithnnítear ar an dtoirt iad, de ghnáth, roinnt plátaí scoilte ar bhalla íseal suite congarach do chúinne.
Local mums of a certain age are invariably the voluntary dolers out of the cat grub twice a day: say 9 am and 6 pm. Fifteen minutes of so beforehand the feral cats begin to emerge from their hidden lairs and stealthily patrol the dole office from all angles. They are so punctual, it is said, one can set one’s Rolex by them. It is also claimed that the food for the feral cats regularly rates more stars on the Miaowchelin Guide than what the domestic strain are served. Hence, the probablility is that the puddy tat in the photo did a bunk rather than wait to be a target for a kittenap or to deteriorate from boredom on a mediocre bill of fare.
Mumaithe áitiúla d’aois ar leith a ghlacann chucu féin i gconaí go deonach dualgas dháilte amach bia na gcat, gach ceannn ina Dhia beag, faoi dho in aghaidh an lae, abair, 9 am agus 6 pm. Ceathrú uair a chloig roimh ré tosaionn na feilínigh fiáine ag teacht amach go fáilí as a mbrocais cheilte le tosú ar patrol ar gach taobh timpeall oifig an doil agus táid chomh poncúil sin go ndeirtear gur féidir leat d’uaireadoir Rolex a shocrú leo. Maítear chomh maith go mbronnann an Treoir Miaowchelin níos mo réalta go rialta ar an mbia do na feilínigh fiáine ná ar an gcothú do na cait teaghlaigh. Dá réir sin, tá an dochúlacht ann gur éalaigh an cat seo faoi choim na hoíche seachas de rogha ar bheith ag feitheamh le bheith ina ábhar fuadaigh no dul go mall in olcas den leadrán ar bhiachlár lagmheasartha nach raibh thar moladh Bertie no Billy..
It is now time to focus on Snap 5.
Tá sé in am díriú ar Ghriangraf 5.
Such is the predatory prowess of the local feral feline that mice and rats are rare in Malta. This photos is of a DPCMM – a Direct Provision Centre for Mice in Malta. For obvious reasons (except to McMule, see above) its address must be withheld.
Mice and rats indeed are as rare in Malta as, say, a word, good bad or indifferent, about the passing of the one great Des this last week in Ireland, at the age of 92. Indeed this Des had been Ireland’s political philosopher supreme for most of the past century. No more valid proof of this than the manner in which his death was received and his passing was greeted by the anal-retentive Anglicised mass-media – by a thunderous hush.. With an IQ as high as the Himalayes this towering intellect made ‘alleged’ thinkers with attitude shrink like, well, to the the lowbrow altitude of (gulp) Carraun Toole by contrast.
Farewell, Des FennelL may you Everest in peace: ní bheidh do leithéid aris ann. The 32nd County in an Ireland of Section 31 C .
Tá cumas creiche na gcat áitiúil chomh cumhachtach sin go bhfuil lucha agus francaigh fánach i Malta. Seo griangrafa de DPCMM – Tearamann do Lucha Scanraithe I Malta. Ar chúiseanna atá follasach do chách (seachas McMiuil, feach thuass) ni mor an seoladh a choinneáil rúnda.
Ta lucha agus francich chomh fánach le, abair, focal, olc, maith no measartha, faoi bhás an Des amháin in Éirinn le seachtain anuas, in aois a 92, a dhéadfaí an lipéad ‘gaisce’ a ghreamú leis.Go deimhin, dob é an Des áirithe seo príomh-fhealsúnaí polaitiuil na hÉireann don chuid is mo den chéad seo caite. Níl fianaise níos bailí le fáil ag Baile Átha Cliché ar an bhfíoras sin ná an bealach a ghlac na mor-mheáin neamh-chumarsáide lena bhás – le ciúnas on bpoll coinneálach tona. Le SI chomh hard leis na Himalayanna féin rinne an fathach éirime seo ‘smaointeoirí’ uaisle eile a chrapadh go hísleacht,bhfuel, (slog) Choráin Tuahtail
In contrast to that Des the departure of a different Des was greeted all week long, almsot to the Twafth of Never – by the Silence of the Lambeg Drum, when every and any Hannibal of the Hackitariat with a lectern in DUPlin has been hectoring the gormless in the gormléinte how great thou wert, O Malley who faced down the Enemas of the State .as if they were the ferocious Fulani of Mali itself
I gcodarsnacht ghlan le héag eagarthora an náisiúin, Des, glacadh le Des difriúil agus a bhás ar bhealach a bhí ábhairín eagsúil: le Tost an Druma Lambeg, nuair a thosagh gach Hannibal de chuid an Phreas Phingin-an-líne a raibh léachtán aige ag meabhrú go callánach do na liúdramáin i léinte gorma cé chomh maorga agus morgach is a bi O Malley (nach raibh ina chat strae) agus an tslí a sheas an fod an fod in aghaidh Einime an Stáit amhail is go raibh siad chomh fiochmhar le na Fulanaithe i Mali féin.
Even wee, sleekit, cowering Colum Eastwood got in on the act,. Fearful that his laughable effin and blinding in the presence of the common or garden Speaker by the naming of Soldier F might prompt a graffiti in the Bogside along the lines of ‘Is the West Brit Eastwood a Snaking Regarder’?’ he released this pre-emptive itty-bity tweet:’ Des O Malley was a true Statesman’.
Now while one might quibble with the last word (the actual spelling is ‘Stateenman’ ) this is no time to quibble but to drool and dribble. And also to Celebrate the Centenary of the Free Southern Stateen by the selecton of a Trio with Brio on the Brutish and Orish Lions. (DOM was a big rugga fan as reiterated his undoubtedly biggest fan, La Harney).
Chuir fiú Colum bídeach, slíochta, cuachta Eastwood, a ladar lag isteach sa scéal. Le teann faitís go mbeadh mar thoradh ar a sheasamh croga nuair a chuir sé a bhroga isteach i Saighdiuir F i láthair an Chinn Comhairle, an tUasal Gnáthchineál, ná go spreagfaí an graffiti gránna seo ar bhalla i dTaobh an Bhogaigh, ‘An Leantoir Slítheántaée an Seoinín Eastwood?’, d’eisigh sé an tuít reamhchoisctheach bídeach seo: ‘Ba fhior-Státaire e, Des O Malley’.
Anois ní hé seo an tráth cuí le locht a fháil ar an bhfocal tuíte deireanach (is é ‘Státairín’ an litriú ceart) ach le prislíneacht agus priosláil a dhéanamh. Gan trácht ar ndoigh ar an tráth chun Comoradh Céad Bliain an tSaor-Stáitín o Dheas le roghnú (Triúr Millteanach Mor) mar Leoin de chuid B agus O. (Ba leantoir mor ubhchruthach é DOM mar a d’athdhearbhaigh a leantoir ba mho riamh, La Harney).
There are not one, but two Tadhgs on the B and O team: one on the stench-filled field, the other on the dito bench.
But it was the selection of a second Oirish forward in the same furlong as Tadhg, that prompted the Rug Cors of the Hackiatiat in DUPlin to go into a pubic paroxysm of public Conanism, sponsored by Bankers Ireland. And which stopped abruptly only when Jack said in the happy headline, as he perhaps should have uttered, from the off:
-This is as Big as it gets !
Bí ag caint faoi Tadhg an Dá Thaobh agus leis an Tadhg eile ar an mbinse le C, tuigeann Tadhg Taidhgín.
Ach dob é roghnú an dara thosaigh Ubhchruthach sa staid chéanna leis an gcéad Thadhg a ghríosaigh na Tuairiceoirí Ubhcruthacha cois na Life lofa tabhairt faoi thaom púbasach sna pubanna agus a rinne Baincéirí Éireann urraíiocht air. Agus nár stadadh go tobann ach amháin gur labhair Jack amach sa cheaníine sona, mar ba choir do a dhéanamh on dtús, seans:
-Tá seo chomh MOR agus atá ar Fine/ Fianna fáil.
But to return from the Big Cats to the Small Cats. Or, at least,what the Hackitariat in DUPlin adjudge to be Small Cats.
Ach, le filleadh o na Cait Mhora go dti na Cait Bheaga. No, ar a laghadh na Cait a cheapann na NuachtáIn Neamhni in DUPlin
(Incidentally, in Chinese the same word serves for ‘mouse’ and ‘rat’. One happened to be in China once (for obvious reasons, some might aver) during The Year of the Rat: imagine one’s surprise to see largre posters of Mickey Mouse everywhere
Dála an scéil, sa tSínis feidhmíonn an focal céanna ar ‘luch’ is ar ‘francach’, fiu, no, b’fhéidir, go háirithe sa, erm, Luchdown.. Tharla don laoch méarchláir seo bheith sa tSín (ar chúiseanna follasach,a déarfaí) le linn Blian an Fhrancaigh. Baineadh siar as ar fheiceáil do na postaeir mhora de ‘Michailín Luch’ i ngach áit).
Malta, which came to the attention of Pat a Cake Kenny, an English language entusiast, becuase of the airheadline ]No Céad Míle Malta to vacinated irish vacationers ! – during the week on his Road to Malta gig, and which he described, disparagingly even as he noisily munched and crunched his Maltesers ‘as a country with a strong UK conneciton, its second language being English. Eh? ! Eh, I mean, EH?
Thug Pat a Cake Kenny, Béarltoir deisceartach, suntas do Mhalta i rith na seachtaine nuair a dhiúltaigh an t-oileán MeánMhara ‘Cead Mile Malta’ a fhearadh roimh roinnt turasoirí o Éirrin ar chúiseanna Coibhid’. De bhrí nár tharla a leithéid do thurasoirí on R.A. luaigh Pat a Cake Kenny ar a Bhothar to Malta i siúl na Seachtaine go dimheasúil an dlúth-cheangal atá idir Malta agus an Ríocht Aontaithe: tar éis an tsaoil (arsa Pat a Cake go dorcha) is é Bearla dara theanga Mhalta. Eh? EH ? atá i gceist agam)
Malta and the DUPlin Mass Media differ in the matter of Cats., not least the Kilkenny Cats.
Whereas in Malta, cats are next door to being deified, on Liffeyside it’s a matter of ‘Black and Amber Cats Matter, not’ as was evidenced last week in the photo of 2 Giants of Irish Sport which ought to have read 3 Giants of Irish Sport in TUT, except D.J. Carey was cropped. DJ Who?
And it is not just confined to Kilkenny Cats either, of whose city St. Kieran is the patron saint. Throw in, say, Ciarán Kilkenny of the Six-in-a-row Dubz. Ciarán Who? Play it again, Sam, not.
Tá difíiocht idir Malta agus Na Meáin Chumarsáide i nDUBlin maidir le Cait, agus Cait Chill Chainigh thar aon ní eile.
San áit go ndeantar dia beag geall leis den chat i Malta, a mhalairt shalach atá fíor cois Life lofa mar a dhéantar ‘Na Cait san Dubh is Omra’ a dhíspeagadh, mar a feiceadh an tseachtain seo caite san ghriangraf den Bheirt Fhathach Spoirt na hÉireann, gur choir Triúr Fathach Spoirt na héireann a bheith ann, ach amhain gur deineadh DJ Carey a bhearradh den ghrianfraf sa tslí gur fágadh é ina iomlán maol. DJ Cé hé?
Agus nil an dispeagadh seo teoranta don chathair cois Fheoir, a bhfuil Naomh Ciarán mar naomh phatrún uirthi. Caith, abair, Ciarán Cill Chainnigh o na Sé Chorn as a cheile faoin Chnoc a Se Deag, isteach sa chiseán.. Ciarán Cé hé? Seinn arís é, Sam, gan.. Tig leis na cait cronán ar a son féin, más mhaith, erm, le Leo.. O Theach Laighean go Teach na Leon.
One obvious exception to this dissing of the feline are the Big Cats, i.e, Leo the Tánseach and of course, every 4 years, the touring Lions. This year they have come back home to Sud Afrik to play Cat and Mouse with the Sprinboks. And whom the coy-boyz and squaw variant of the Mass Media in DUPln refer to them by their abbreviated title. When pussy comes to shove, however, they do deign to namecheck them by their full title: the British and Oirish Lions. (The O pronounciation, of course, is in recognition of their egg-shaped balls)
Eisceacht fhollasach amháin ar dhispeagadh na gcat is iad na Cait Mhora, i.e., Leo an Tánseach agus ar ndoigh, gach 4 bhliain, na Leoin ar camchuairt. Tá siad i ndiaidh teacht abhaile go Sud Afrik i mbliana, le Cat agus Luch a imirt leis na Springboic. Tabbhair an Luchdown air. Tagraionn na buachailli seachantacha agus an leagan scbha sna Mor-Mheáin in DUPlin doibh lena dteideal giorraithe. Mar sin féin (úps ! tabhair ‘áfach’ isteach on mbinse !) má théann an chúisí go dtí cnámh na huillinne, deonann siad, Joanie, iad a ainmniú lena dteideal ceart: Na Leoin Bhiotanacha agus Oireannacha. (Tugann an fuaimniú O, go neamh-íoronta, ar ndoigh, aitheanntas dá liathroidí ubhchruthacha).
PS Limerick, always the lady, suffered two losses and one win during the week. Alas, as two losses don’t make a win, Hayes Hotel continues to weep.
LIMERICK
For dear old Dessie, in the ground a hole
On the bench for C, of the game the whole
Two out of Three
For the Treaty city
Only Kyle won the day with a wonder goal.
LUIMNEACH
Chaill Dessie bocht an cluiche agus fuair bás
Ar an mbinse do Conor, don chluiche tá spás
Do as an Trí
Do C.Luimní
Níor chaill Kyle ach bhuaigh le bunoscionn bos.
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