Don’t get me wrong – I prefer Biden to Trump. In fact it’d be easier to measure the difference between the two men in light years than anything else. But I find there are things about Joe that grate on my nervous system.
There’s that little trotting style he has, when he’s going up the steps of a plane or is breaking away from the parade to greet somebody in the crowd. It’s OK, Joe. We know you’re a really fit 78-year-old, but don’t keep on giving demonstrations of it.
And when you’re at it, maybe slow down the speech a little: there’s a danger of words getting slurred together and risking the conclusion among listeners that you’re in the early stages of a stroke.
And I know it’s an American habit to identify yourself by your roots, but maybe lay off telling people you’re Irish. I’m as keen as the next man or woman to see the B(ritish)BC get a snub, but you are the American president and you are expected to give the odd comment to news organisations like that.
And I hate to say it, but Tony `Blair had more right to call himself Irish – his mother grew up in Donegal – than you, Joe. Even if both your great-great-grandfathers came to the US from Ireland in the 1840s.
Finally, would you in the name of God give the Irish stereotype a detour. You were on the news when you were in Rome, where you gripped the Pope’s hand firmly and told him you were the first Irishman he’d ever met who didn’t drink.
As that fat ass B Johnson might have said: donnez-moi un break.