One of the biggest gaffes in recent times, here in our NEI stateen, was when Arlene Foster did the crocodile thing. Remember? Yes I know that’s a silly question – how could you forget? Gerry Adams’s response was a smile and a ‘See you later, alligator’. Sinn Féin supporters had loads of fun with the whole crocodile thing, even having a guy dressed in a crocodile suit larking around at political campaign events.
But give Arlene her due – she’s not the only one who has ever gone in for animal name-calling. Remember King Rat? Or the Border Fox? Some parts of the press like doing that kind of thing. Personally, I don’t think you should give animal names to people, because that encourages the public to think of them as less than human. And they are or were human, even the people we detest.
But the striking thing about the crocodile gaffe was the republican reaction. It was to note that it happened, and then take it and kick it around joyously, whooping in delight. The result for Sinn Féin was a very successful political campaign.
Unionist politicians find this harder to do, for two reasons. By and large they don’t do the playful thing. They tend to react to insult with rage and yes, outrage. I can’t recall off-hand any nationalist or republican politician doing animal name-calling of their opponents, but unionist politicians do find a way of being affronted, offended and, yes, outraged quite frequently.
So you can imagine the meeting of the DUP election team in late February, preparing for the big one in May. They’ll be telling Sammy to watch his mouth and the MLA for Sandy Row to stop looking as if he was in a lift where someone had noisily broken wind. “On your best behaviour at all times!” will be the warning. Although judging by the past, the DUP’s idea of good behaviour might be a teensy bit lower than that of their political opponents.
So here’s a May election prediction. None of the DUP candidates will talk about their opponents in animal terms. The same will apply to nationalist and republican politicians, the difference being that the latter don’t have to think about it, respect comes more naturally. For some unionist politicians, it’ll be a frustrating campaign where they’ll feel muzzled, unable to let rip at the vermin who could end up in charge of our dear stateen, post-May election. But muzzles will be mandatory. Once bitten, twice shy.
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