Kissing Trump’s ring

There are many reasons why I dislike – no, why I detest Donald Trump  – but he does have his positive qualities.For example, a recent article I read compared him to a wild horse and cast Micheál Martin as a horse whisperer, one who knows how to murmur in the Donald’s ear and so quieten him down.  Vladimir Zelenski, on the other hand, is not a horse whisperer.

I think the Horse-whisperer theory is just too easy. Trump is not a horse – he is a man whom the American people, having had lots of time to think about it, elected their president.  They thought he was the best person to lead their country. That said, the fact that they voted for him tells us a lot about the American people, just as the election of Boris Johnson made it possible for him to become the leader – and for many the most popular leader – in Britain. Again, that tells us a lot about the English people.  In a similar way, the approach of  different leaders to Trump tells us much about them as well as the man they faced.

For the Trump 2.0  era, it all began with that visit of Ukrainian prime minister Volodymyr Zelenskyy. As Trump,  aided by his vice-president J D Vance, shouted down the Ukrainian leader, accusing him of being ungrateful for all the things the US had done for his country  and by the way, why don’t you buy a nice suit like the rest of us? That showed the schoolyard bully side of Trump – shouting and finger-pointing  and telling an erstwhile ally that he was dicing with World War Three. Final score: Trump the bully 10, Zelenskii the victim 3.

Next up,  Emmanuel  Macron,the French prime minister. Married to his former drama teacher, Emmanuel ( which means ‘God with us’)  spoke smilingly to the horse, stroked it down, squeezed its leg, did just about everything  but jump on top of it. Final score:Trump the bully 5, Macron the victim 8.

Next up British prime minister Keir Starmer. Normally Starmer looks and acts like a robot or maybe the Tin Man from  Somewhere Over The Rainbow.  Inexplicably his approach to Trump worked – or maybe the reason it worked was the envelope in Starmer’s inside pocket , which he slowly took out, telling Trump that the King of England wanted him to come over and have  a formal meal with him. Inexplicably, Trump the Horse was covered in sweaty gratitude. Final Score: Trump 8, Starmer the victim 9.

And then we had Micheál. The Irish Taoiseach  must have wished the twenty-six counties still remained subject to the crown, since he could then have whipped out a royal invitation for Trump to come and dine with the King. But the south is a republic (of sorts), and so Micheál had to adopt  the pose of the friendly inferior. When Trump spoke- which was much of the time – Micheál nodded like one of those toy dogs it was once fashionable to have looking out the back of your car.

And of course Micheál laughed on cue – if Trump found something funny, so did Micheál. Even when Trump found it funny that Ireland’s success meant there was a housing crisis, Micheál chuckled along. He did mention that exports and imports were a two-way street, but Trump was more interested in his favourite Irishman, Conor McGregor. Final score: Trump 9, Micheál 3.

Central tenet for any wannabe leader: you must never make your followers feel uneasy, let alone cringe.

And if you know about a genocide bid, you should just man up and mention it.