Nelson and class action

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Attention please, class. Eyes this way. That’s better. Now. Why is that fine and cultured man, Mr Nelson McCausland, upset this morning with Alliance Party activist Gary Spedding?  Anyone? Well I’ll tell you, then. Two  reasons. 

The first is that this young man called Gary Spedding was photographed at a celebration in Newcastle upon Tyne earlier this year and he was ( if you’re under  five now’s the time to cover your ears)  – he was holding an Irish tricolour!  Can you credit that? Naturally Mr McCausland, being a man concerned for the public welfare, took the image and posted it on his blog, with the comment that Gary Spedding “prefers to fly the flag of Irish nationalism”. Clearly this was something Mr McCausland felt called on to do. You can’t have people who touch an Irish tricolour getting away with that kind of thing…What’s that, Virginia? well yes, if it’s on its way to the top of a bonfire that’s different. You have to  touch it then. But in normal circumstances,  a man with a civic conscience like  Mr Nelson simply must speak out against all those who fondle the Irish flag.

Unfortunately –  and this is something Mr McCausland couldn’t possibly have foreseen – the image of Gary Spedding with the tricolour was then reposted on loyalist Facebook pages and drew a number of suggestions, none of them complimentary. In fact there was some threat of violence: one of them suggested Mr Spedding should be shot in the back of the head. Isn’t that awful, class? Naturally Mr McCausland was appalled. “No one should have to deal with threats of violence, but public life requires a thick skin to absorb legitimate criticism.”

Indeed. Or as we say, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the sauna. Which brings me to the second reason why Mr McCausland  is upset with Gary Spedding. That’s because Mr Spedding is an Alliance Party activist. And hands up, class: what did the Alliance Party do a year and a half ago? That’s right. They tore down our flag from Belfast City Hall. Mr McCausland’s party quickly issued 40,000 leaflets telling people what had happened, in case they hadn’t noticed, and putting the blame where it obviously belonged: on the Alliance Party. The fact that this led to days and weeks of vicious attacks on the police was something that Mr McCausland’s party and I’m sure Mr McCausland himself deeply regretted and condemned. How could they possibly have foreseen such a violent and unhappy eruption?

But back to Mr Spedding. He’s an Alliance Party activist, and the picture of him with the Irish tricolour showed that he must be in sympathy with the idea of a united Ireland. Of course Mr Spedding has denied this and says he thinks Northern Ireland is better off as part of the UK. But what does the old saying tell us, class? Anyone? That’s right.  There’s no smoke …without fire! And in this case, thanks to Mr McCausland’s speed of thought, unionist voters have been alerted to  that fire within the ranks of the Alliance Party. First that Anna Lo thing about a colony and now this.  They’ll deny it, of course they will, but we all now know, don’t we, class – nationalist dry rot  has set in within the ranks of the Alliance Party.  And there’s only one way to stop the spread of nationalist dry rot and that is…? Right, class. Very good. VOTE DUP. That’s the correct answer. Especially when that seat in East Belfast next comes up.

OK class, I’d now like you to take out your best exercise book – quietly please, no talking – and pick a nice clean page with no dog-ears or doodles on it. All done that? Now I want each of you to write a nice letter to Mr McCausland expressing our gratitude for what he has done. Yes, Virginia, I know it’s hard to think of a first sentence. So why don’t we all start with ‘Dear Mr McCausland,  I’m writing this letter to thank you for your courage in defending our national flag against all subversive forces”. Subversive – that means people who don’t agree with us. I’ll put it on the board. Now, go on from there. And remember to end up with ‘Yours in awe’. Mr McCausland will  be pleased.

21 Responses to Nelson and class action

  1. RJC June 18, 2014 at 9:31 am #

    Dear Mr McCausland,

    I hope that you do not consider the suggestion that Mr Spedding be shot in the back of the head to be “legitimate criticism”.

    Yours,

    RJC

    PS – Do you ever think you might be a little bit too close to the Caleb Foundation? All this talk of the world being 6000 years old makes it increasingly difficult to take anything you say remotely seriously.

  2. Am Ghobsmacht June 18, 2014 at 9:48 am #

    Oddly enough, I commented on said blog (the tricolour one).

    It for some reason never got published (how strange…).

    So, just to recap, I pointed out that if his party got actively involved in st Patrick’s day celebrations instead of regarding it with hostility and seeing it as something for ‘themuns’ then people around the globe might be aware of ‘other’ Irish flags instead of just the tricolour.

    I pointed out that the St Patrick’s display at a university in Kuala Lumpur featured a poster of Ian Paisley Snr.
    An odd choice at first but when one scratches the surface we find that this self declared Irishman opened his church on St Patrick’s Day and has a keen interest in St Patrick.

    Maybe my comment is still awaiting moderation….

  3. Pointis June 18, 2014 at 9:57 am #

    Dear Mr McCausland,

    Do you realise just how backward and out of touch you make this part of the world seem to the rest of the world?

    I don’t suppose you will take any responsibility for your actions should some of the knuckle draggers who have your blog read to them, feel provoked enough to act against Mr Spedding.

    It is very much a case of you making the snowballs while the jelly-brains do the throwing! It doesn’t show your courageous side in the best light.

    People like you must seem like dinosaurs to our youngsters, sorry you don’t believe those existed! This might explain your shortsighted aproach to our future!

  4. paddykool June 18, 2014 at 10:18 am #

    Dear Mr McCausland,….We are not worthy. We bow our heads in awe at your magnificence. We are surely humble in your presence ….Mea culpa …mea maxima culpa…..

  5. ANOTHER JUDE June 18, 2014 at 10:19 am #

    Dear Mister McCausland,
    I am really disappointed that such a progressive chap as yourself, obviously named after the late, great ANC man, should show such bigotry. Oh, what`s that? You think you were named after LORD Nelson? Ah well, in the land of the blind and all that.
    Yours in awe (not)
    ANOTHER JUDE

    ps, Change your PIN number, 1690 is SO old school.

  6. paul June 18, 2014 at 10:51 am #

    None of this is surprising to me. This dour, ultraparanoid man( or is the paranoia just hate) should spend more time on his ministerial duties and less time trolling for people who dare to touch the wrong fleg. Nellie Mac should be more concerned with the fact that his constituents lag behind in terms of education and social progress. I may not see it in my day, but his party is one of the reasons, I beleive there will eventually be a united Ireland.

    the esteemed FM, Dodds, Poots, Mccausland, Donaldson, Patterson, what a brain trust for the future. They can verbally espouse “democracy’ all they want, but their actions consistently show otherwise.

    • North Munsterman June 18, 2014 at 11:03 am #

      Paul :

      “I believe there will eventually be a united Ireland.”

      100% correct.

      For your info Paul, the vast majority of people in this part of the country (the 26 counties) support a Re-United Ireland, know it is inevitable and will vote for such overwhelmingly.

      It’s all good.

  7. PremierMan15 June 18, 2014 at 11:30 am #

    Re: a poll on a UI in the south
    The most recent poll in the south was a couple of years ago in the IT,it showed support for a UI at circa 64%.Expect that to rise dramatically once the southern economy eventually improves and the meat and bones are put onto what a UI would mean in actuality i.e.possible amendments to the constitution,the flag,anthem,devolved provincial assemblies etc.

    • North Munsterman June 18, 2014 at 2:36 pm #

      PremierMan15 :

      This is absolutely correct.

      Unionists try to delude themselves into thinking that the Re-Unification of our country is exclusively a Shinner Project.
      Totally incorrect assumption.

      The Re-Unification of our country is a National project and is not the exclusive property of any single party or group – in fact, there is going to be the mother of all political dog fights when the time comes between the main Nationalist parties to be the one(s) that deliver
      a Re-United Ireland .

      It’s all good.

  8. Maggie May June 18, 2014 at 11:38 am #

    Mc Causland ! Wasn’t he the man who covered the cage of his budgie on Sunday to prevent it swinging and so violating the Sabbath Day

  9. Pointis June 18, 2014 at 11:42 am #

    If I were Gary Spedding or were in charge of the Alliance party I would have a chat with a well regarded barrister to see if they were able to bring a case against the individuals who formulated and distributed the 40,000 leaflets arguing that they had a forseeability of the violent consequences of their actions.

    On the same theme I believe that the actions of Mr McCausland in targeting Mr Spedding should be challenged with a view to have a court determine that he should be made personally culpable for any detriment suffered by Mr Spedding as in the current climated of intolerance in loyalist communities that there is a reasonable possibility that this would be the outcome.

    Could it come under ‘incitement to hatred’?

    A court appearance might test Mr McCauslands mettle in persuing his moral crusade!

  10. morpheus June 18, 2014 at 12:47 pm #

    Obviously Admiral Nelson would adopt the ‘nowt to do with me Guvnor” defense but as a supposed man of God do you think he would even have had a twinge of guilt had one of the drug-fuelled – or is it drug-dealing? – knuckledraggers had carried out the threat?

    Spedding should go to the police and make a formal complaint then straight to a barrister’s office so he can sue the arse off that horrible excuse of a little man

  11. Pointis June 18, 2014 at 12:59 pm #

    Morpheus, I don’t think the man has an ounce of empathy for anyone who sees things differently to him. I am sure he is a bundle of fun in an arguement!

    As for the God he follows, I think you will find through Mr McCausland’s eyes that he is a very exclusive God and therefore there is no need to feel guilty when detriment comes to those outside the fold!

    As you say a quick call at his local police and barrister recommended.

  12. Francis D June 18, 2014 at 2:59 pm #

    This goodly man of love, Confederate of Hutchie and Wilkie (right wing drug dealers and Parasites on their own community), couldn’t Possibly have anticipated such a vile backlash on the hapless Gary! How could he? There is absolutely no cause and effect between Unionist Backwoods men voicing prudent concerns about the evil spread of Irishness in its many insidious guises, and over Enthusiastic young defenders, slow of Wit (I think its the drug problem that the Admirable upright Nelson keeps facing the UVF/PUP down un his crusade for Community taking precedence over deathdealers,-he stands up to the Death Dealers Because he loves the flock, especially the ones over which he has a certain influence over, (not the Fenians alas who aren’t Saved or Worth Saving of course)……digressing in such reverence to this Truly Christian Man I am lost……ah yes, the devil stole my thoughts for a while there, when I last had a shave I has a glimpse of a souless lost Fenian who must get up to the Metropolitan Churh to get me some Salvation (Dixie Style). Every time a Unionist draws attention to a lundy, Roast Lamb is on the menu, with ĺ

  13. Iolar June 18, 2014 at 5:13 pm #

    The dysfunctional nature of the Legislative Assembly is once again on display to the world. It is a scandal that the media is dominated by daily reports in relation to sectarianism and racism.There is rhetoric about a Racial Equality Strategy and cant from the Community Relations Council. A focus on flags and marches enables many elected representatives to opt out of an engagement with serious political, social, cultural and economic issues. The absence of debate on such issues provides further evidence that the Assembly is not fit for purpose and certainly does not represent value for money,

  14. giordanobruno June 18, 2014 at 9:49 pm #

    Jude
    I seem to remember you having a good go at Rory McIlroy when he waved an Ulster flag about, and talked about playing for GB in the Olympics.
    A good job he didn’t recieive any death threats after that.
    I’m sure you would have regretted and condemned it though.

  15. Jude Collins June 19, 2014 at 10:40 am #

    Gio, the last time I got a message like yours was from Ed Moloney, about seven years ago, after I’d written a piece critical of Anthony McIntyre. In it he warned me at length that I had placed McIntyre’s life in danger by my article and that if anything happened to him his blood would be on my head. I promptly had the email, including grammatical errors, published; and of course nothing happened to McIntyre.

    I don’t think I can imagine anyone less likely to be shot or receive death threats in the wake of one of my blogs than the bould Rory. He fits exactly what was once referred to as a Castle Catholic – agreeable, friendly, always careful not to offend, especially those who looked down favourably on him.

    To tell you the truth, Gio, I can hardly believe you’ve made the point you’ve made. You don’t keep a half-mad gio locked in a closet somewhere and let him out once in a while? (I hope that doesn’t provoke the men in white coats to come and take you away. I’d die of guilt.)

  16. Jude Collins June 19, 2014 at 10:41 am #

    PS I really like your spelling of ‘receive’, gio. Definitely original.

    • giordanobruno June 19, 2014 at 12:54 pm #

      Jude
      Mcilroy did receive (I think that’s right) abuse after expressing his thoughts on playing for GB but if you are sure your mocking him didn’t encourage that in any way well that’s fine.
      So you are saying that Nelson’s blog has more influence on its readers than yours? I suppose you might be right.
      And by the way what’s with the personal abuse? Words can hurt.
      I thought you frowned on that sort of thing.
      I suppose it is a sign that my argument is unanswerable.

  17. Ceannaire June 19, 2014 at 12:24 pm #

    Gio, that is probably the worst post you have ever written on this site. Your standards are slipping.
    (Hope you don’t get any sort of threats due to my criticism).

    • giordanobruno June 19, 2014 at 2:10 pm #

      Ceannaire
      Come now. I’ve written much worse than that.
      But I concede it was a bit weak.
      I couldn’t resist reminding Jude of his ridicule toward McIlroy ( several different blogposts if I recall and a mockup of him in Leprechaun outfit) especially now Rory has decided he is Irish after all. Which, to be fair, is more likely to invite abuse from the idiots out there than his previous statements.
      Anyway I will try harder.