‘The Final Trial & Tribulations of Mr Colum Eastwood MLA’ by Donal Lavery

“Enemies rarely come in the attire of foes; They pose in the guise and garments of friends.” – Old Japanese Proverb

Anyone who was at the Uniting Ireland Conference on Saturday in Belfast’s Waterfront Hall will know what I mean when I say the atmosphere was electric. The hall was packed and people were eager, to garner the clash of ideas within the arena for hearts and minds. You had speakers from all backgrounds and classes lining up to give their take on the absolute necessity of Irish unity following Brexit; and how this generation is going to settle that argument once and for all. There was no ambiguity about the fact, whether you like it or lump it, that Sinn Fein is the dominant, authoritative and ONLY voice of actual Irish nationalism and republican values in the North and the South. That’s not to say that all the panellists agreed on everything, some didn’t and are rightly of independent mind; but it was a sight to behold in witnessing the patriotic endeavour now burning brightly in the eyes of countless Irish people. A Book of Genesis to the noble construct of an enlightened Green, White and Orange nation. For the Irish have woken up from their daze and are now prepared to struggle and fight for the fullest existence of their nation.

Now, there are people out there who such an event will never appeal to; within some of the most extreme and bitter quarters of society in the North. There are those who fear even the basic discussion of the kind of Ireland envisaged against the backdrop of firing squads in 1916. But you wouldn’t, at least you ought not, to expect that a leader of a party identifying as “Irish” and “nationalist”, would be one of those voices in the wilderness critical of such a prospect. Of course, the person I refer to is the  “Honourable” Member for Foyle, Mr Colum Eastwood; who, in all his Machiavellian intellect, took to Twitter to lament such a gathering by trying to suggest that the Good Friday Agreement is the be-all and end-all of this project. He even went on to lecture some of those who ridiculed his remarks by suggesting that it wasn’t his fault they were unfamiliar with the Agreement itself. Through inference from his own words, it is clear that Mr Eastwood doesn’t care tuppence for mobilising Ireland’s children, at home and exiled in America or across the world, in support of her ancient cause to nationhood.

I don’t find that surprising in the slightest, for the SDLP represents the interests of some of the darkest elements of both the British state and Northern society. Paddy Devlin once stated that it was stuffed full of devout, middle-class teachers, who were controlled by the shadowy, pro-Brit Knights of Columbanus/Malta (deeply opposed to equality therein). Spooks in the NIO, as the released files now show, were deeply troubled at the rise of Sinn Fein and the decline of the “greying” Catholic Toffs. But what you must ask yourself is why?

Well, the wider proponents of the status quo find allies in many forms and varieties. After all, “my enemy’s enemy is my friend.” And both the Free State political class and British ruling elite, know full well that the SDLP will bend over backwards for the prospect and patronage of mercs and perks. That means acting as the friend of working class and nationalist people while actually conspiring as one of their most active class enemies. For, assuming he even wants Irish reunification, Mr Eastwood appears to be of the view that the South should simply annex the North and we will have a 32 county Free State – controlled economically from ‘de facto’ Thatcherite governments in London and Brussels. He knows that with changed power dynamics, his weak and dying party will have no pieces to play on the chess board of a real Irish Republic.

This isn’t just my verdict or words. The majority of nationalist communities in the North have rejected you, Colum, and your party. Yet you have such  disregard for the nationalist people and their rejection that you continue to perpetuate the same  sentiments and conduct which landed your party in the dismal state it now finds itself terminally in. You have the temerity to talk down to people who have just won all your former Westminster constituencies, including in your own heartland, after having admitted you were close to resigning just days ago. You have the laughing-stock assertiveness to go around Europe trying to meet various delegations and leaders over Brexit, when your party doesn’t have a single mandate within the EU Parliament itself. In your hubris, you try to tell others who they should caucus with in the EU and what their philosophy should be when your economic “credentials” are like political “Semtex” to your nationalist support-base. You knifed Doctor McDonnell in the back politically,  only to preside over the worst ever results in your party’s  history, while your Councillors in Belfast are falling like flies. In summing up your sentence, for all the good you claim to have done, in the name of God, Go!