They used to say that’6 into 26 won’t go’; it now sounds as if the slogan is ‘6 into 27 won’t go’. No matter what way the south of Ireland and the EU present the post-Brexit situation to the DUP and its Tory mates, the answer comes back, as always: NO.
I heard the BBC’s Brexit man this morning say that the DUP wouldn’t buy some border arrangement which would mean only ‘animal products’ being checked between Britain and Ireland. EH? I was under the impression that animal products were already checked on their journey between Britain and our Tormented Green Corner (TGC). But hey – why be logical now when it’s not something you’ve even dabbled with before.
The Irish Examiner has an article today showing the EU having another go at persuading the DUP and the numbskull Tories that their interests lie in a soft Brexit:
“Northern Ireland would remain in a deep customs union with the bloc, applying the union’s full “customs code” and following single market regulations for goods and agri-food products. Meanwhile, the UK would be in a more “bare-bones” customs arrangement with the EU, in which it would apply a common external tariff on imports from outside the union and rules of origin, the FT reported, saying the plan had been presented to EU ambassadors on Wednesday and floated with UK officials.
Apparently the money markets sat up and wagged their tails at this news. I suggest they start yelping and head for a corner: there’s not a chance the DUP and the Tories won’t piddle all over this proposal. What, make our Tormented Green Corner enjoy the benefits of being in the EU? What a crazy idea! If there are bare bones going, we want to join Mother Britain in chewing on them and telling ourselves it’s so much better being in an economic nuclear winter BUT FREE than in the sunny uplands of EU near-membership and feeding off the fat of the land.
The final irony is that the DUP and the Tories keep telling the EU to come up with a workable solution, when the source of the problem is the DUP and Britain. They’re the ones that voted (well I know, Virigina our TGC voted to Remain, but again you’re being logical – waste of time) …where was I? Oh right – the UK was the one that created this cataclysmic mess and now they keep demanding that the EU and the south of Ireland come up with a solution.
Psst, Arlene and Theresa: have you ever thought about the possibility that the EU might just get fed up offering you tasty morsels and having them kicked aside? That one of these days they’ll declare “OK, guys, game over. We’ve done what we can but as the song says, there just ain’t no pleasin’ you. We’d say it’s been nice knowing you, but of course that’d be a lie, and unlike your approach to commitments given last December and March, we don’t believe in bare-faced lying. There’s the door, mind your arses and muffle up warm – babies, it’s cold outside!”
If the EU did offer that option, who says the Brits and the DUP wouldn’t see reason and agree to damn near anything? What do you mean, they wouldn’t ? Oh right. This is the DUP and the Tories we’re talking about. Mmm. OK, EU and the south: get ready to push the eject button. Enough already.
Comments are closed.