1. Vestments and Investments: / Éide agus InfheistÍocht. Thus, a thin wee ‘In’ was the outstanding difference between the reaction in Lisburn and Liffeyside. / Mar sin, dob í an ”In’ an t-aon difrÍocht bheag, bhídeach idir an freagra i Lios na gCearrbhach agus Cois Life. In 1920 Detective Inspector Ozzy Swanzy was shot down and made to pick up ‘the tuppence of comeuppance’ after he’d exited from Christchurch Cathedral I Lisburn./ i 1920 scaoileadh leis an B;eachtaire Cigire Ozzie Swanzy nuair a chrom sé sios leis an ‘dá phingin a bhi ro-thuillte aige’ a phiocadh aníos agus Ard-Eaglais Chriost i Lios na gCearrbhach á fhágáil aige.
In 2020 Blondie BoJo with his heart of glass exited Westminster Cathedral having tied the knot with the expertise of a Henry 8, not. / In 2021 d’;fhág BoJo Fionn lena chroí clúiteach gloine, Ard-Eaglais Westminster tar éis do an snaidhm a cheangail le saineolas Anraoi 8, chan . Mrs BoJo the Third fervently prays that he, Fionn McCool,Dude, ties the conjugal knot with rather more finesse than his hard neck-tie knot., which tends to go walkabout./ Guíonn Bean BoJo 3 go dian go gceanglaíonn Fionn Mc Cool-dude an snaidhm phosta le scil níos oilte ná mar a chuireann sé snaidhm sa charbhat ar a mhuinéal crua. agus a bhfuil claonadh ann dul ar strae.
/In 1920 the discommoded Loyalists, having burned down Papist Lisburn, including the parochial houses, then danced, in an understated manner, through the streets wearing the clerical vestments which they’d thoughtfully salvaged from the PP’s house. / I 1920, tar éis do na Dilseoiri míshásta na ceanntair Chaitlceacha i Lios na gCearrbhach a dho go talamh, dhamshaigh siad ansin go neamhghairéadach sna sraádeanna, agus eide na cléire a chaitheamh acu, a rabhadar i ndiaidh a tharrtháil go smaonteach a o theach an tSagairt Pharoiste
in 2021, The Unionist Times in DUPlin-on-Liffey drew on their investments – of time and and its synonym, money. /I 2020 tharraing T.U.T. i DUPlin-ar an Life ar a n-Infheistíochtaí – idir am agus airgead, a chomhainmneach. There was nothing understated about their reaction./ Ní raibh aon rud caolchúiseach ag baint lena bhfreaga. This was understandable: as the mainscream media in DUBlin is doubled up and down with Converts / Bhi seo iomlán intuigthe, mar tá na mormheáin díoscanacha in DUPlin murtallach le Claonacháin
With Cheque Book in one hand and Cattle Prod in the other – they river danced exuberantly around – in the manner metaphoric – on Liffeyside, the Parochial Houses of the Papes. . whether occupied or shuttered / Le Seicleabhar i lámh amháin agus Smachtín Eallaigh sa cheann eile, rinne siad an abha-damhsa, go spleodrach sa bhealach meafrúil,. morthimpeall Tihe Paroiste na Papes cois Life., biodh siad lán no folamh.
. Their motif du jour was Fat Harry whose hit and miss rate was double that of Rotund BoJo – thus far. / Dob é mana an lae acu ná Harry Ramhar. The Unionist Times, btw, would have kept schtum if, f’rinstance, Blondeie BoJo had exited Westminster Abbey rather than Westminster Cathedral./ Dála an scéil, dá mba rud é gur tháinig an Fionn McCool-dude as Mainistier Westminster seachas Ard-Eaglais Westminster, choimeaáfadh siad schtum.
Lisburn, of course, is derived from Lios na gCearrbhach in the original curry my yogurth can of coca coalyer. / Ar ndoigh, d’eacair Lisburn o Lios na gCearrbhaach sa bhun-, curry my yoghurt can of coca coalyer . Meaning, in the Anglo-Saxon ‘The Fairy-Fort of the Gamblers’./. Its sophisticated cognogscenti of High Finance convincingly argue that the removal of the Mainland Subvention of 10 B for British Blliion squids would have grim results / Déanann na saineolaithe meabhracha ar chúrsaiíArd-Airgeadias áitiú láidir go mbeadh toradh gruama dá gcuirfí stad le Foirdheontas na Morthiíe – 10 B do Bhilliúin Bhriotaineacha i bPhúint Steirling . An especial gloomy prospect would be their gambling addiction being fed by, very sporadic erm, Lillibets (in the local pators) ./ Toradh a bheadh go speisialta dearoil ná go gcaithfiía n-anduúl sa chearbhachas a chothú le, erm, Lillibets (sa bhéarlagar áitiúil.
2. Finchley Fintan was the geezer who wheezed up the motif of Fat ‘arry, mate. / Dob éFincheley Fintan an gleoch a sheiftigh an motif Fat ‘arry, a chara. It was his Carrauntoole-high intellect – the highest IQ on the Yuneited Island of Oirland – which enabled him, as per usual, to be more far-seeing than the normality in his search for the appropriate venison-tasting comparison. / Dob é a ard-eérim aigne Corrán Tuathalach a chuir ar a chumas, mar is iondúil, bheith nios fadradharcach ná an choitiantacht nuair a bhiían chomparáid chui, le blas na fiafheola uirthi, á lorg.
Truly, with his spire-shaped CoI brain is Finchley Fintan the genuine Guardian angle on the flat-earth Fenians. / Dáir, Gordon Pirie, lena inchinn ata chomh spuaichruthach le hArd-Ealgais Phrotastuúach, is e Finchely Fntan an fíoruillin Guardian ar an Fíníniía achreideann sa domha cothrom.
You’d almost think he chose this specific motif on purpose./ Shiífeá gur roghnaith se an mhoitif seo d’aon turas.
So much so that one will will not tarry any longer with Fat Harry. / Mar sin, ni féidir moill a dhéanamh le hAnraoi Ramhar. FH is a sore point with the Flemish Fambily Warbeck./ De brhí gur pointe piamhmhar é FH leis an Chlann Pléimeannach Warbeck.. It was, after all, the humongous Fat Harry’s immediate (and monogamous) predecessor,, H7 who Tyburned one’s own eponymous ancestor to the ground, almost in 1499./ Dob é, tar éis an tsaoil, dob é H7 an réamhtheachtaí gar a bhi ag Anraoi Millteánach Ramhar., a rinne sinsear comhainmneach dem chuid a chrochadh,, geall le bheith síos to talamh, i 1499.
Sa bhealach sin, theorannaigh sé go fealltach PW 1 mar ‘bhuachail bán an aon bhua’ / Thus restricting PW 1 to the dubious distinction of being a mere One Hit Wonderboy. ‘Oo, yes I’m the Great Pretender’. / Dob iad na focal dheireanacha a dúirt PW 1 agus and téad-cahrbhat á snaidhmiú morthimpeall a mhuinéil: Too real is this feeling of make-believe/ Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal’
So, one must be excused for moving swiftly on. Except to draw attention to the ubiqutious back to front harp of Guinness. / Focal déanach sar a bhogfar ar aghaidh on mhir thuramhéaleach seo: déan nota de chláirrseach dhroim ar ais uileláithreach Guinneas . (
3. From one song to another, albeit of inferiour quality: ‘Don’t mess with the T..U.T. Tattoo of F.O.T. !’ / O amhrán den scoth go hamhrán eile nach bhuil inchurtha leis: ‘Ná cur Tatú TUT FOT bunoscionn’.
For a visceral loathing of the Papes and their Popes is but a natural outcome of his shockingly oppressive RC environment of the Crumlin Road (the DUPlin version in the Free Southern Stateen)/ Tá mniú soiléir inchreidte leis an fuath fíochmhair atá ag Finchely Fintan do na Pápair: niíga ach amharc gasta a theilgean ar an dtimpeallacht uafásch leatromach Phápach ina togadh é ar an mBothartChromghlinne in DUPlin 12. Conisider the following deprivations, taken at random: /. Seo liosta gairid den bhochtaineacht chultúrtha a d’fhulaing sé;
A. The roads of Crumlin, D 12, are named after/ for (New York Times, please copy) Papist Monasteries./ Tá boithre Chromghlinne ainmnithe in onoir na Mainisteracha RC.
B. The local GAH ground, Lorcan O Toole Park was opened in 1957, just in time to dishonour the birth of FOT. You’d imagine Pearse Park wasn’t bad enough already. / Osclaíodh Páirc Lorcan O Toole de cuid an CGL i 1957, diíeach in am, d’aon gno, chun fáiltiú roimh breith Finchley Fintan. Shiífea nárbh leor Páirc an Phiarsaigh iomarchach cheana féin.
C.. In 1958 the Eamonn Ceannt Cycling Stadium was opened. / I 1958 oclaíodh Staid Rothaíocha Éamonn Ceant..
D. . 11 gruesome years wearng the D cap in the local Murder Macine run by those purveyors of Cant, a CBS school. / Ar feadh aon bhlkan dhéistineach déag chaith sé an Caipin D sa scoil átiúil a bhi faoi stiuúr na soláthairaithe seafoide sin, na B.C’anna.
Does one need to go further? / An gá paidir chapaill a dhéanamh de?
‘Fate, Hype and Chariot ‘ is in the DNA of the TUT TATOO / Tá Cinniúint, Cinnlínte agus Carbad le fáil in DNA TATÚTUT / Little surprise therefore that the reins of the chariot are in the hands of FOT, / NiÍ dÍol ro- iontais, mar sin, go bhfuil iallacha an charbait i ngreim FOT. For the Ben Hur of TUT is, like his counterpart in the erm, Roman (!) Empire. much given to driving a chariot withershins around a Fort as this was taken as a sign of hostility/ / De bhrií go leanann Ben Hur TUT rotha a mhacamhail in Impireacht na Roimhe (!) an-thugtha tiomáint go tuathalach mor timpeall an Duin mar chomhartha naimhdis.
Withershins / Tuathalach Sinister / Tuathalach.
In DUPlin, however, this is difficult to do – there being no Fort of the Papes./ In DUPlin, afach, tá sé decaire a leithéid a dhéanamh – ar an ábhar nach bhfuil aon Ard-Eaglais Chaitliceach ann. The score at this moment in time going forward, obviously C of I 2: Papes: 0 /Is é an scor i láhair na huaire ,, ag dul ar aghaidh, go follasach: C of I: 2: Papes: 0. Of course, the Papes’ Pro-Cathedral in a side street is currently under review for the VAT VAR and has been for decades / Ar ndoigh, tá Leas-Ardeaglas na bPápairí faoi athrbhreiithniú don VAT VARi láthair na huaire faoi mar ata se leis an scortha bliain. The vacuous Papes even claim that the score ought to be: RC Cathedrals: 3: C of I: 0. / Maíonn na Pápairí is lú téagair intleachtúill gur coir don scor bheith mar seo: Ard-Eaglaiis RC: 3: Ard-Eaglais E na hE: 0.
Another difference between the low-key loyalist response in Lisburn in 1920 and the high-octane hysterics in DUPlin in 2021 is the real deal zeal of the Convert in the latter. / Difríocht eile idrir an fhreagairt mhaolaithe stuama na nDiíseoirí iri i Lios na gCearrbhach i 1920 agus an histéir ard-ochtáin in DUBlin in 2020 na fíor-dhíograis na nIompaithe Humptaí Dumptaí.
The main-scream media is rife. with converts, from the Rel Cor of TUT to Mister Hstory of the audo version of TUT, RTE to, of course, Finchely Fintan / Ta na mor mheain-chumarsaide criiathraithe le hIompaithe Humpaithe Dumptai. – on Comhfreagiraí Creidimh i TUT agus an sUasal Staire i RTE, audio TUT agus ar ndoigh An Tuathalacy Finchley Fintan, of couse, is not unfamiliar with the Abbey and the Cathedral in DUBlin, having been, er, literayr consultant of one and Guest Ponfticator in the other. / Tá sean-thaithiíag an Tuathalach ar an Mhainisreach agus an Ard-Eaglais in DUBlin agus seal caite aige mar comhairleoir liteartha i gceist amháin agus mar Aoi- Ghaothaire sa cheann eile.
Tuathalach / Stiffnecked. Tuathalach / Bungling.
Antoher difference: whereas the Churstchurch Cathedral in Lisburn is located din the Diocee of Connor, the Christchurch Cathedral in DUPlin is in the Dicoese of Conor Cruise O Brien./ Difríocht eile: san ait go bhfuil Ard-Eaglais Chriost i Lios na gCearrbhach suite i nDeoise Connor is amhlaidh go bhfuil Ard-Eaglais Chriost in DUPln lonnaithe i nDeoise Congo Crisis O Brain.
Even an Irish poet like John Milton (cf J. Biden) can see that the rabid anti-Romanist is far more ortho-toxic on Liffeyside than in Lisburn / Is féidir le fú an file Éreanach sin, John Milton in ann a aithint gur dÍograisÍ go moR an fuath fanaiceach frith-Phapaiiri cois Life.ná i Lios na gCearbhach.
4. Sweet Divine ! A Dhia dár sábháil! : This Maltese bar was formerly known., pre Pundemic , as The Grapevine / Seo beár Malta a raibh an t-ainm Gerapvine are- roimh an Phainndéim . it is now gearing up to re-oper as the (gulp) The Irish Vine. / Tá sé ag ullmhú anois le hathoscailt mar an Irish Vine. (cue the Grapes of Draperstown or even The Grapes of Wrath-gar ) According to word on the grapevile a cocktail of Fíon Gael and Fíonta Faál is due to be the grandest of brand drinks.
5. How the Mighty have fallen ! / Tá an TUT ar Thjeamhair ar féar agus feach ar FOT mar ata !
The Last Picture Show was rumoured to be Pulpit Fictoin guest-starring – tarantara ! tarantaaa ! – Fintan, Archbishop .of Fnchley. / Bhí Rafael Ráfla ag tuar le fada go mbeadh ”Pulpit Ficton’ mar an scannan deireanach , le – tarantar ! tarantara ! – Fintan, Ard-Easpag Finchely mar aoi-aisteoir.
Alas, what has caused its cancelation? / Mo lean, cad ba chúis leina e a chur ar ceal? The hint might lie in the two names at the bottom – which read like a typical sourpuss, pompous editorial of TUT on a on-da on Nice People v Nationalists : Amigos v Cain ‘n Able. / Seans go bjhful an leid le léamh sna hainmneacha ar ghaidh an bhalla thíos: ‘Amigos V Cain ‘n Able a d’fhéadfadhh bheith ina ghnáth-eagarthoir poimpéiseach le soc searbh ar na ‘Daoine Deasa v Na Naisiúnaithe’.
Finally: note the back to front E and the – looking backwards – the inside out Guinness Harp in Kodak Mo 2 / Amharc ar an E tuahtalach agus amharc siar ar an gClairseach thrathalach de chuid Guinne.
Tuathalach: / EironeouslyTuathalach / Arseways.
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