Have you noticed a change in Micheál Martin recently? I haven’t. To me he’s still the same smooth-faced Corkman who talks too fast through an oddish little mouth. He’s also, of course, part of the Fianna Fail government that the electorate resoundingly whacked at the last election. Despite this, Fianna Fail are now clocking up healthy poll figures – 24% approval ratings last time out. How is this possible? Easy, according to a reports from a usually reliable source. The allegation is that Micheál is now being advised by Eoghan Harris.
EH? Isn’t Eoghan Harris the man who wrote that Twink sketch? If you’re one of the less mature generation, you’ll probably not know what I’m talking about. But Eoghan is credited with writing a sketch performed by Twink at a mini-Fine Gael Ard Fheis in 1991, which was so buttock-clenchingly awful I can’t bring myself to describe it even briefly. Google it if you’re that mad to know. But there are those who thought that Eoghan’s promo work that day did huge damage to the Blueshirts who were presumably paying him.
So is the same Eoghan now taking the limp glove puppet that is Micheál Martin and inserting his animating hand up its innards, so to say? That’s the allegation. Now let me be clear: in general terms I love Cork people. There’s something about their cheerfulness, their ready wit, their refusal to take life or any issue with excessive seriousness, what else could you do only love them? But as with all things, there are exceptions. Mine are Micheál Martin, Jack Lynch and Professor John A Murphy. What about Eoghan Harris? I have no complaints about Eoghan – he paid me the money. As far as I’m concerned, he’s welcome to go on working his magic on Micheál. Sooner or later it’s bound to be fatal.
Keep.up.the.good.work.Jude.
I’ll.Try.Jim.
DOUBT YA, BOY
Muchas buiochas, Esteemed Blogmeister, for reminding one of that Carauntoohill of Contemporary Comedy, Free Southern Stateen-style.
-I Twink, therefore I scram.
Recall that other pivotal moment in Irish showbiz history when Dame Twink abruptly left the Gaeity Panto to hightail it across the Liffey to perform a duet with Perry Como on the stage of the Point? The episode known as The Show must Go on, not.
The ulterior motif of this vaudevillian vamoose, it appears, was the better to get a shapely leg up and/or a highheel in the door for a dazzling career in the biz of show in the Land of Aunt Samantha. Alas, the best laid plans of pushy lasses, no less than those of assertive alpha males, can oft gang agley as the wee mon once hooted.
In a strange way that jumping of ship presaged another Pantomime Dame’s doing ditto, also to the US of A. Mrs. M. Robinson, (for it was she !) growing tired of dancing with the Kitty Stoblings of Potatoland, had bigger ballrooms to grace.
Alas, the best-laid plans etc (see above).
Oh, Panto Bliss !
And as for De Re-bel County, boy
If one may mention two of one’s favourite Corkonians: Dr. Pat O’Callaghan and Timothy Quill, Esq one real and the other fictional (and therefore more real?). Both were not completely unconnected.
Pardon the name dropping (ouch!) but Perkie’s inner sporting groupie once spent a most enjoyable afternoon in the company of Ireland’s double Olympic gold medalist. Directions to his splendid Victorian house and gardens, surrounded by high walls in Clonmel sur Suir and under the shadows of the Comeragh Mountins, were spot on.
-Walk that way. And when you come to a high wall with a big jalopy parked outside, stop. Look inside the car and if there is straw in the back seat, you’ve reached your destination.
One did, and there was. Dr. Pat was a big coursing afficiando : hence the straw in the back seat of his top of the range jalopy. No, there was no turkey in the straw.
It was Dr. Pat who informed one, amongst many other things, how the Bould Thady Quill (see above) was not as he was spindoctored in the well-known ballad of that title, composed in 1895.
‘For rambling and roving for football and sporting
For drinking strong liquour as fast as you fill;
In all your days roving you’ll find none so jovial
As that Muskery sportsman, the bould Thady Quill.
Turns out there actually was a Mr. Timothy Quill but not at all like the hero of the song: though he was a burly farm labrourer he was somewhat lacking in athletic gifts; a teetotaler, he was given to sleeping in barns, stables and other select accommodation.
A domestic lifestyle which would not have entirely endeared TQ to the actual ‘ye maids of Duhallow who are anxious for courting’. Does one deduct a note of irony in the balladmaker’s composition?
All of which leads one to the rather alarming prospect of Eoghan Harris / Eoghainin na nAontachtaithe taking on the task of composing ‘The Ballad of the Bould Meehawl Martin’ !
On mature reflection, however: cherish the very thought !
To conclude: as the old Muskerry moiety of milchfarming wisdom has it: one good churn dererves an udder. Take a gawk, EB, if you haven’t already, at the letters page of The Unionist Times no later than today.
Specifically, at the seat specifcally reserved , just inside the door, for the truly deserving. And observe there yet another enchanting epistle from (gulp) the Professor Emeritus of Modern Irish Blistery at the Queen’s College on Leeside.
Once again, a gem from the ageless pen of John A. Murphy, MA (for it is he !). Nothing less than a nugget of nuanced non-sectarianism.
Nil se tullte againn / We are not worthy..
PS Dr. Pat O’Callaghan is not entirely irrrelevant to contemporary athletic matters, or indeed, wider political matters to do with a Unified Ireland. Or,not..
.At the moment, those Irish athletes who were diddled out of their Olympic medals are foremost in the national, erm, conversation, Due to the drug skullduggery on the part of Russian athletes who pusched past them in the rush to the finishing line.
Nowhere, however, has one heard the name of Dr. Pat mentioned. Which is odd, and and at the same time, not odd.
Odd, because he too was swindled out of a medal; in his case, a third Olympic gold medal on the trot. After successfully defending his hammer throwing title which he had won in Amsterdam in 1928 at the Los Angeles games of 1932, Hollywood moguls came a calling.. To offer him the plum role of Tarzan of the Apes.
He pronounced it in the Cork way: Tar-zan. He declined the invitation. Instead, the role went to another multi-Olympic medalist, the swimmer Johnny Weistmuller.
Some thought he would have been ideal in the role – after all the Re-bel Yell of Cork, boy would have prepared him pitch-perfectly for the Tar-zan Yell:
-Ooo-wa-ooo- aaooaaooaa- ooo !
However, Dr. Pat had other plans: specifically, for the Berlin Olympics of 1936. Being a professional physician (the second youngest ever to have qualified as a doctor in Ireland, just a lad of 21 summers) he reckoned he would be at his physical peak in that year. Hammer throwers traditionally mature around that age.
But the Divide and Concur merchants hadn’t gone away, ta’s agat. In a word, Irish Athletics was split into two, or rather three organisations: one to cater for Norneverland, another for the Free Southern Stateen. And then the NACA which had been looking after the 32 counties and refused to concur.
One of these three organisations was turfed out of international competition. Dr. Pat was a refusenik and so, as a member who stuck with the NACA, lost his chance of winning an almost certain hatrick of Olympics golds.
Doubtful,somehow, if Dr. Pat would have fitted too seamlessly into the fabric of the Free Southern Stateen of the current Eire era.
He did make it to Berlin, however, as a guest of Der Fuhrer. He watched the Games from the VIP section in the stands. When queried about Adolf H’s vacating his seat as Jesse Owens was being presented with gold, Dr. Pat robustly disputed the alleged reason for this vacating.
As one recalls his colourful reply: ‘Rawmaysh ! Utter rawmaysh ! Lookit, Hitler might have turned out to be a monster, but he started out as a man. Which meant he had waterworks like the rest of us. It was a call of nature which caused him to leave his seat. I was close enough to witness it with my own two eyes !;,
It struck one that Dr. Pat’s house would have made an ideal venue for an Elite Irish Sports Museum, with his two Olympic gold medals as the centrepiece. Containing such items as Georgie Best’s left lace, Mick O’Connellls’s right oar, Mike Gibson’s egg-cup, Frank McGuigan’s right white boot, Jim Neill of White City’s white towel etc etc etc.
However, many years later, and long after the dual champion had gone to the ultimate VIP section in the sky,one found oneself in South Tipperary. Detouring to take a decco at the putative sports museum it was to find that the venue of the house was still in the same place. It was just that the house itself had been demolished.
The shock that this vandalism could have been allowed to happen without a whimper of national protest was magnified by another realisation.
That it could have happened on the watch of such visionary statesmen as (gulp) Jimmy Deenihan, Minister of Sport.
-Ooo-wa-oo-aaooaaoooa-ooo !
PS. Is J. Deenihan perchance in any way related to (gasp) P. Rabbit? One is prompted to enquire on witnessing that Headlights Moment on the Cross (very) Border Show thingy last week.
The real crux of the argument is this most people thought that SF had FF on the ropes for whatever reason FF have done quite a remarkable job of coming back from the dead. As for SF they have had chances but just don’t seem to be able to get to the stage of becoming the real 2nd party in the country not winning winnable bye elections is proof of this.
Eoghan Harris advising Micheál Martin-the blind leading the blind…
I can’t envison Fianna Failures fulfilling their pledge of contesting elections in the north from 2019;they would be wiped out.This is the party whose mismanagement of the southern economy has postponed project UI by a generation at least.
Beir bua!
As you frequently admonish us,where’s the evidence that Eoghan is the new ” spin doctor” for Michael Martin?You seem to have an ambiguous attitude towards Eoghan.As you say, he paid up on the ill-conceived bet, but wasn’t he one of the interviewees in your last book?
He was indeed one of the interviewees in my last book, Argenta. Not sure what point you’re making. As to evidence, give me a minute…
My point is that you continually complain about the ” Shinner bashing” that is frequently contained in the Sunday Independent.It’s probably fair to say that Eoghan is one of the most consistent critics of that party over the years in his Sindo column.I wondered therefore why you chose him as one of your interviewees for the book.Was it because you felt(notwithstanding his attacks on Sinn Fein) that he had something worthwhile to offer on the topic of centenaries ?
Of course, Argenta.I interviewed all sorts of people with whom I disagree almost completely. I think it’s important – this blogsite is an example – that all points of view are heard. Eoghan Harris, in my experience, is an honourable man who keeps his word. I disagree with him politically but what’s the point in always talking to those who agree with you and no one else?
Jude
Still waiting on the evidence to back up this allegation that Michael Martin is being advised by Eoghan Harris!!
If you know how I can attach a jpeg/put it up, I’ll gladly furnish same…It’s a piece from the Irish Mail on Sunday by Sam Smyth…
OK- I give up – I’ve spent enough time on it. Here’s what it says:
“Last week I met columnist Eoghan Harris and told him that Micheál Martin is the best communicator of all the party leaders.The former senator was surprised: didn’t I know he was advising the Fianna Fail leader? And then he went on to praise his client while inadvertently flattering himself.
It’s a fascinating coupling, a political take on the ‘opposites attract’ cliché: Martin is the kind of guy that Harris would once have dismissed as a quiche-eating beta boy”…And there’s more but that’s the key bit.
“Amhrán na bFhiann….Sinne laochra fáil\we are heroes of destiny”. This is the wording of the original version by the author, Peadar Ó Cearnaígh. Laochra was changed to Fianna, giving Fianna Fáil, meaning Soldiers of destiny, by the Fianna Fáil political party when it came to govern early in the birth of the Irish state. The electorate is perhaps best placed to judge the track record of political parties. Time will tell.
Does this mean that Micheal Martin, who will not countenance a deal with Sinn Fein because of their affinity with the Provisional IRA, is quite prepared to accept guidance from an old Official IRA man?
Next thing he’ll be supporting ex-RNU member Mairia Cahill for the Senate!
Thanks Jude.At least we have some evidence,albeit from the Irish Mail on Sunday.I suppose there is previous form in that Eoghan was nominated to the Senate by Bertie Ahern.