Before the recent elections in the south, imagine if you’d sat down a Fianna Fail supporter and said “After this election, you’ll have half the ministerial portfolios in government, Micheál Martin will be Taoiseach half the time, and while you’re on the rise, your traditional political enemies will be on the decline. Oh, and did I mention that you’ll be able to pressure Fine Gael into dropping Enda Kenny and install a new leader?” What do you think the response of the FFer would have been? Would s/he have shaken the head and expressed disappointment? Or would they have looked at you with widened eyes, thrown both arms in the air and smothered your upturned face with burning kisses of gratitude?
I’m going to go out on a limb and say it would have been the latter. Remember, this is the same Fianna Fail which the electorate in the south couldn’t wait to get rid of five years ago. There was even serious talk in the newspapers of the party being consigned to the historical rubbish-bin. Yet here they are five years later, with an offer of half the seats at the Cabinet table and a 50% share of the Taoiseach role. Oh happy day and yippee-eye-ay-huzza!
Which shows you must be careful what you wish for. Because that’s the prospect facing Fianna Fail now, and they’re actually feeling more than a little scared. Yes, they want their hands on those Mercs and perks that only come with power. Yes, they want the pleasure of issuing Enda Kenny’s political death certificate. They want their boy from Cork as Taoiseach –a boy who, you’ll remember, was a face at the Cabinet table back in the day as Fianna Fail turned the bus to the cliff-edge and stood on the accelerator. They want the fruits of the electorate’s forgetfulness, but they know there is a catch. Sinn Féin.
If Fianna Fail accepts the offer which Fine Gael are at this moment finalizing of a 50-50 division of government roles, right up to the level of Taoiseach, they’ll have created a space in opposition. And guess who’ll step into that? Yup, the Shinners.
This could prove very dangerous, because the word is, the next five years may be even worse economically than the collapse of the Celtic Tiger a while back , with a bullet-hole between its eyes. If you’re in government when things fall apart – which Fianna Fail found out from experience a few years back – you’re going to take the hit from the electorate.
Plus you’ll have conceded that there’s an awful lot of issues on which you and Fine Gael are in agreement, to the point where the separate existence of either party no longer makes sense. So as Sinn Féin waxes stronger as leader of the opposition, Fianna Fail could well find the rationale for its continued existence whipped out from under its feet.
So you may be sure that Fianna Fail will think long and hard before they gulp down the elixir of power. For those in Fianna Fail who say a Fianna Fail-Fine Gael team-up would be the end of the party, they’d do well to consider the alternative: another election. If that happens, Fianna Fail will be accused of sending the electorate back to the voting booth at a time when they’ve hardly got the sour taste of the last one out of their mouths.
Check-mate, Micheál old bean.
Great story jude.
A. nightmare.tale.j.i.m.
The clear mandate from a sophisticated Irish electorate is that an alternative form government is required. The question is not who will be the next Taoiseach, it is what calibre of a Taoiseach will treat the Irish nation as a whole and take the necessary steps to create the conditions for economic, political and social recovery. There is enough work in public services, flood management, housing and a safe public water supply for a generation to come. The key question is, is there a political will to agree the type of budgets needed to make recovery a key priority for the next government.
Fianna Fail and Fine Gael priorities remain concentrated on the acquisition and maintenance of power. There is an onus on the other elected representatives to ensure that the next government truly reflects the values of the Irish Proclamation, a Republic, entitled to…the allegiance of every Irishman and Irishwoman. A Republic that guarantees religious and civil liberty, equal rights and equal opportunities to all its citizens, that cherishes all of the children of the nation equally, and reflects differences which have divided a minority from the majority in the past.
There is a move , Esteemed Blogmeister, which the Fianna Failures could make tomorrow which would, primarily, wipe the eye of the mortal Shinners. But which would, on a secondary and more durable level, boomerang and leave themselves with two dirty big, black shiners.
As a moment’s reflection would reveal. But, of course, as the Fianna Failures are but the Punch and Judies of the puppet master / para-hack of the Sindo cult / He who is out on his Eoghan, it would be unwise to rule it out.
Now that Uisce na hEireann / Irish Water seems to have disappeared down the plug hole for the mo, it concerns the two topics du jour of today, Wednesday: the appointment of a new Ceann Comhairle / Speaker and Doll House Reform.
The appointment of one particular person would at one stroke, solve the one and set in motion the other. This obvious person was actually to be seen and heard speaking on a television programme as recently as Monday.
But first, by way of a backstory and craving your legendary indulgence,, E.B.:
It was a dead-heat early this chilly week to see which manhole cover got more, erm, coverage in the media, both sides of the Black Sow’s Dyk.ie.
One manhole cover was bilingual, while the other manhole remains maniacally monoglotic.
In Norneverland there was the celebrated bilingual dunpholl emblazoned with the compulsory English word ‘water’ and the optional Scots Gaelic, ‘uisce’. This so hackled the ungrazed brain of an amazed DUP super star that he immediately called for the instant removal of said covers. Presumably to give the nostrils of all right-minded meanies of Baile Meanach / Middle Ass Town full access to the subterranean yet ethereal fumes and perfumes of khaki-coloured cac.
We is talking seriously banal Anal-retentive Anglophilia here, folks.
Meanwhile, down here in the Free Southern Stateen, there was the sight of a preternaturally bright O’Toole talking sh / te through a manhole. The m.h. in question being his very own.
(This is a highly risky manoeuvre ,and so fraught with difficult danger, it requires at least ten thousand hours of pubic appearances to achieve perfection. And is no way should would- be outliers try it out in the privacy of their own homes. To become an accredited Anal-Retentive Anglophile is not a mere overnight phenom, as some of the sadly deluded shoneens seem to allude to.).
Now there is nothing unusual about the A-listed intellectual Fintan O’Toole (for it is he !) upping and putting his F.O. T. in the merde (a recurring motif) and on a daily basis too. For his F.O.T.- fall is what ensures T.U.T. stays in business. Being the main one who Makes up the Minds of the Mindless, which cohort comprises the overwhelming readership in search of the mental leadership of The Unionist Times (for it is it!).
Still, there was something, well, B-Special about this occasion.
It occurred during the showing of a mini-documentary on Douglas Hyde (or, Dubhghlas de hIde, as he preferred to call himself) on Monday Night on RTE TV 1. It was entitled ‘Fire in the Blood’ and subtitled ‘The role of Douglas Hyde in promoting the Irish Language, becoming President of the Gaelic League and writing the pivotal text ‘The Necessity for De-Angliciizing Ireland’.
Who could have imagined after this promising unveiling that by end of the short clock doc (26 minutes !) that the whole gamut, the entire ABC of Anal-Retentive Anglophilia would be given a full, late-evening recitation. As follows:
-A: Absolutism, . as practiced by the RCs who quite cornered this market in the FSS.
B: Ban, as in the G.A.A.
C: Compulsion, the ultimate pain in the Erse.
While the programme was like the Ballymena manhole, bilingual the main guest commentator remained in toto, unilingual. That would be, ar ndoigh/ of course, Fin. Tan. O. Toole (look above, but do, pray, genuflect before doing so).
Now, just why did the director / producer Deborah Spillane (for it is Who She?) opt not for just any O’Toole but for THE O’Toole to fill the role of steering intellect / walking-out finger for the programme ? After all, F.O.T. has never been known to allow even the regulation Cupla Focal in Leprechaun to pass his tightest of tight lips. EVER. As he himself might brusquely opine:
-Only hypocritical politicians of the venal variety do that class of thing.
And hypocrisy being, ar ndoigh, as crucial a part of the DNA of the Leprechaun as compulsion itself.
Could the reason be, perchance, that (gulp) RTE is, in fact, the Broadcasting Wing of (gasp) The Unionist Times. ? As The O’Toole himself might remark, in a pithy Cupla Focal, not:
-Ca fios?
Now, the Major Intellect of Modern Ironyland has fulfilled this role time and Times out of number on RTE (the role involving The Rapporteur Rap) but, for whatever reason, chose to do so on this occasion……in costume.
-The costume of The Cheshire Cat.
As even every dog-lover in the streets knows full well that what TCC does best is the g-word and It is an exercise in pure self-hypnosis to watch the grin of Fin grow wider and wider in breadth throughout the length of this brief programme.
Until such time as the very face and the phenom that is Fintan becomes A Grin. Nothing more, nothing less, just A Grin. And, you better believe it, bro, nothing becomes the bogball-dissing physiog of the no-speaky but squeaky clean Fintan the Feline , more than a Grin. A GrIn of the utmost but thought-out and taut smugness, stretching from lug to lug. Not least when the Leprechaun is under discush / the cosh .
Take a gawk, dear reader, singular, but do, pray, genuflect before doing so.
While the grin is a given in the context of The Cheshire Cat who amongst us who would even have remotely guessed, let alone known, that the same pussy was an equally dab paw at the……gurn?
There is a seanfhocal/ proverb in the Leprechaun , and one no doubt, Fintan the Feline would urbanely deny all and any knowledge of, never mind the merest acquaintance with:
-Meileann muilte De go mall , ach meileann siad go min.
-The mills of God grind slowly but they grind finely.
God will have to look to His/Her laurels for here comes the Gay Byrne of Gurning !
-There was a huge movement towards Nationalism in the 19th century. But the Irish Nationalists did not just think in territorial terms. They thought in term of language groups. Like, say the Germans, they’re the people who speak German. The Italians, they’re the people who speak Italian.
Proceed, Fintan the Feline.
-So therefore, the Irish must be the people who speak Irish. But, hold on. (Pause here, to allow for the first tentative expansion of The Grin of Fin). We’re not speaking Irish. We’re speaking English. (Pause again, for the onset of The Gay Byrne-style gurn). So, do we exist at all as a nation?
(Sub-editorial intrusion from The Perkin: note the use by FOT of the unusual word ‘Irish’ to describe ‘Leprechaun’. When the intellectual FOT-fall is heard on the sidewalks of , say, The New Yawk Review of Books he invariably opts for a word only ever used by Protestants and English folk when FOT was in short pants and big ideas: ‘Gaelic’).
Perhaps, gurning is not quite the word one is looking for in the case of The Face. It somehow does not do justice to the maestro of le mot juste. Perhaps only a neologism is what is required in the case of this most Original Thinker:
-Purrning.
Yes, purrning it is, rather than gurning, even if only be a, erm, whisker. And the wider the grin expands the louder the purrning becomes during the course of this short but perfectly deformed programme.
Did the Main Brain of the FSS and Main Bane of the Jugular Vein of the Venal Gael go toe to toe with the ‘Necessity for the De-Anglisation of Ireland’ of Douglas Hyde?
Well, actually, no.
Rather was he there to also act the part of Dr. Jeckyl the ultimate heckler. And there was no shortage of things to heckyl (see ABC above).
-A: the tophatted cabinet members staying outside (yawn) St. Patrick’s Cathedral for the funeral of the first and the First Protestant Prez of the FSS.
-B: the banning by and from the GAA of the Prez for attending (stretch) a soccer,oops, football game between Ireland (sic) and Polska.
-C: the (yawn , stretch, fa/rt) Leprechaun.
Back to costumed Cheshire Cat;
-The Irish Language had been, of course, the language of the majority of the Irish people right up to the Famine. And with the Famine’s great CATastorphe, (note the capitalised first syllable) begins this process whereby the speakers of Irish, many of whom, um, had already died, and over the decades millions of people are leaving, who are overwhelmingly Irish speakers . So, the language has taken a hammering. And so, there is a widespread feeling that here is a language that is going to become extinct.
(Pause here for reflection)
That passage of prose was uttered by The Cheshire Cat in costume is such a flat tone that it would have done credit to the fattest of fat capitalists who cannot be arsed about such a farcical non-topic.
Imagine, f’rinstance,, the leading columnist (call him, say, David Ben-Gurrier) of an imaginary Israeli Times of Tel Aviv smugly reflecting on telly on a similar event in Jewish history in such flat, fat-cat tones of a bored technocrat.
Difficult indeed to imagine. But then even an imaginary Israeli Times of Tel AviV would hardly restrict its use of Hebrew to a weak and weekly page headlined ‘Treibh’/ Tribe. Perhaps, hide rather than restrict is the mot juste here.
It was here or heareabouts that The O’Toole prepared to disappear up his own manhole.
-Hyde would be enormously disappointed with contemporary Ireland. He saw there would be no real Irish culture without the Irish language. And he turned out to be- wrong. It turned out that most Irish people are perfectly content to have an Irish identity which did not include the Irish language, at least as the vernacular of the state.
This was the vanishing point that the costumed Cheshire Cat morphed into one enormous, self-satisfied but not at in the slightest smug-ugly grin. All in a Pussy Riot of right-thinking revelry of his own devising. Nothing quite so thigh-slappingly thoughtful as a cultural monoglot pontificating on the charms of pluralism. The culturally craven, as it were, scoffs at An Craoibhin.
Malice doesn’t live here in this Funderland anymore, not.
Now, the peculiar pen name of Dubhghlas de Hide was ‘An Craoibhin Aoibhinn’ / ‘The Enchanting Little Branch’. Which would be just another piece of prima facie evidence for the Anal-Retentive Anglophile that Dougllas Hyde was truly, erm, out of his tree.
But, it also provides a delightfull little visual touch to the progamme: for the purrning, grinning guru in the costume of The Cheshire Cat is peculiarly positioned during the course of the programme – underneath the enchanting little branches of a studio how-de-do tree. Where, of course, The Cheshire Cat eventually ended up, the original of the species, that is.
(Was that a bird’s nest one spotted, shaped uncannily like the unique, ramshackle moustache of DH, above the large grey-mattered head of TCC?).
-Geddit?
For such a short and browbeat programme it was unsurprisingly replete with irony, mainly, alas, of the unintended kind. An abbreviated list of which will suffice:
-Dubhghlas de hIde was bred, born and brought up in the Leprechaun-speaking diocese of Elfin, oops Elphin in the County Roscommon, the son of a clergyman. Charles Dodgson, the great grandfather of Charles Dodgson, was actually the Bishop of Elphin. The latter CD went on to strike out for literary immortality by changing his name to Lewis Carroll and quilling ‘Alice in Wonderland’.
(This Lewis is not to be confused with the Luas which has two enchanting little branches and which is set to go on strike, though not for literary immorality).
-The day before the transmission of the programme, Hyde Park, the bogball stadium in Roscommon Town was waterlogged, thus rendering it unplayable. The TV programme was not only imprimatur-logged thus rendering the effin Leprechaun unsayable by the designated ref, but the fact that it lasted 26 minutes (exactly) was a sly little portent of that what had happened 50 years before to (who else?) Horatio Nelse at (gulp) 1.32 am. (exactly), the following morning.
-Geddit?
-There is another seanfhocal / proverb in Leprechaun (where else is it ever at ? Quote The Cheshire Cat) and detailed in the Dictionary of Dineen:
-Chonaic me caislean Ui Thuathail agus an Tuathalach fein.
-I saw O’Toole’s castle and the O’Toole himself.
This is said by one who has had a narrow escape. Only one who was witnessed the programme in q. (and who managed to extract oneself relatively unscathed ) will fully appreciate the depth of wisdom of that particular proverb.
A Castle Catholic is one who sends his offspring to West British schools (e.g., St. Patrick’s Cathedral School ) or wannabe West British colleges (e.g. Blackrock, Rockwell, Castleknock etc). It is not known if the Modh Direach / Direct Method applies in this instance or not.
What is known is that though it was not the cheek by jowl Church of Ireland Cathedral of Christchurch which got namechecked on the programme ‘Fire in the Blood’ it too modestly boasts two fascinating artifacts to do with (gasp) an O’Toole; and (B) with a (gulp) cat.
Specifically, the heart of St. Laurence O’Toole , patron saint of Dublin. On 2 March 2012 the relic was stolen from Christchurch Cathedral. It was stored in A heart-shaped wooden box for the past 800 years (!) and secured in a square (not octagon) shaped iron cage in the side chapel dedicated to his memory.
Btw, Labhras O Tuathail was (gulp) a Leprechaun-speaking RC.
Regarding the disarming cabinet containing the mummified remains of a cat and rat : the one, presumably chasing the other, were discovered in the organ pipes of the cathedral in the 1850s. This may or may not be related to the use of the word ‘mummy’ rather than ‘mammy’ on the whispering tongues of the worhshipers.
Now, while the impression may have been given that (a) Christ was not of the Church of Ireland persuasion or that (b) St. Patrick was not a fine upstanding Protestant gentleman, the most effective rebuttal to that misapprehension is to be found in the memorable line of the divine lyricist IRB Gershwiin:
-It ain’t necessarily so.
Finally, by a commodious vicus of recirculation, the person who was also speaking on the programme , (though regrettably for only a fraction of the time devoted to the deviously yet harmlessly fractious Cheshire Cat in costume) and who would indubitably fit the bill the best as Ceann Comhairle / Speaker by a country mile:
– Linda Ervine.
–
Brilliant conclusion! And body and beginning as well, of course, Perkin. Sentence of the day, though: “We is talking seriously banal Anal-retentive Anglophilia here, folks.” Cigar time…
GRRMA, a Mhaistir Iounin Blog.
Especially, for taking such a chunk out of your life to overtake one’s borrowed 22 wheel logger’s trailer truck.
Fact is, one’s normal and trusty four wheel Oldsmobile was not in the car port when one looked this morning. One understands there was a massive Garda raid at dawn today,co-ordinated by the Criminal Assets Bureau.
At least one’s Kawasaki is safe,, the compact mode of transporting one’s Limericks, having been parked elsewhere..
Hopefully, one’s Oldsmobile was taken in the wrong. Much the same way as the fanatical factchecker and crime reporter in chief of the Irish Dependent, Paul Williams was wrong when he reported on RTE that there was a Special Response Unit raid on a house in….Mangerton Road, Crumlin.
Sorry, PW, but Mangerton Road is in Drimnagh, always has been. This sorta sloppy geography is becoming all too common. Only last week, they had the birth house of actor Jonny Murphy on Benmadigan Road, Drimnagh….located in Crumlin. And in his obituary too,when he had not come back. Maybe.
Now, ace crime buster Paul Williams never tires of telling those who will listen that he hails from Ballinamore, County Leitrim.
-There wor a lot of so-called Republican activity going on when I wor growing up there.
How would PW like it it if this (gulp) PW asked him what it was like when he wor growing up in Ballinamore, County Cavan? Now Drimnagh only has a populaiton roughly, very roughly, ten times the population of Ballinamore, but still..
It is not exactly as if it is difficult to identify. Being the parish of choice of the highest-minded parishoners in the Free Southern Stateeen, its roads are named after the highest mountains in Ireland – Mangerton Road, Benmadigan Road, Mourne Rd, etc that sorta thingy.
Bad enough that the high-rise country of Tibet has been annexed by China but for Drimnagh to be annexed by Crumlin, at least by so-called clued-in crack crime reporters;
– This is wor !
Jude, you’re right about the conclusion, body and beginning, but I wasn’t fussed on the bits in between!
This just goes to show that winning battles doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily win the War. I’m a bit like Alex Ferguson, the previous Manchester United manager, I love military history and I’ve read many books on it, as have many successful politicians, businessmen, etc because the rules of War can be applied to everything in life, and I mean everything from politics, to business, to even personal relationships.
Fianna Fail was the big winner of the General Election. They more than doubled their seats and many of their voters have come back to them. But have they chucked away Ultimate Victory in return for a temporary victory?
It reminds me of Operation Barbarossa in WW2, the German Invasion of Russia. Most historians agree the Germans would’ve crushed the Soviets if Adolf Hitler hadn’t have tied their hands and overruled them. One battle, the First Battle of Kiev (the Ukrainian Capital) was a massive Victory for the Germans but most German commanders seen it not as a great victory but as the beginning of the end. The German generals had made massive advances and were just 150 miles from Moscow, the Soviet Capital, when Adolf Hitler saw an opportunity, flew out to Minsk (the Belarussian Capital) and demanded they turn round and head south and capture Kiev because of massive Soviet troop concentrations in that sector, where they would be trapped. The German generals protested the Russian Capital was more important. Hitler overruled them and said destroy the Russians in Kiev and then Moscow.
So the Germans turned South, surrounded Kiev with the help of their Romanian allies and destroyed the Russian armies there. It was more of a slaughter than a battle. Its estimated 200,000 Russian soldiers died and 600,000 were taken prisoner. No other country in the World apart from the Soviet Union could’ve handled such losses. Hitler called it “the greatest battle in history”. But in doing what he did Hitler threw away winning the War outright, in return for a massive, temporary victory. The rest is history.
Sorry for the history lesson but the point I’m making is Fianna Fail was the winner in this election but did they win this election too soon? Would it have been better for Fianna Fail to rule out being in Government except where they are a majority? And even if so, as Jude mentioned, there’s another financial crisis on its way, no one wants to be in Government when that hurricane hits.
I think Sinn Fein saw this all coming. Gerry Adams said before the election he would not be going into Government unless his party had the most TD’s (which he knew he wouldn’t get). Yes, of course Sinn Fein wants to get as many TD’s as possible but the timing of it is very important. If Sinn Fein had have got the most TD’s in this election they would find themselves today in the same sticky and dangerous situation as Fianna Fail, hence why I think many Shinners thought 27-30 TD’s would’ve made this the perfect election for them but still 23 isn’t bad. Sinn Fein is now the main left party in the South and could be replacing Labour, which is exactly what they want. If FF/FG go into coalition, that would be the best outcome for the shinners because it means they would be the opposition and would most likely make massive gains at the next general election.
My own feeling is that FF/FG will go into coalition for a year or 2 and this will inevitable leave the shinners as the opposition. I don’t think Fianna Fail and Micheal Martin could resist the lure of power again, especially if there’s the opportunity of Micheal being Taoiseach.
Inevitably Greece will leave the Eurozone, a country the size of Greece and tied to the Euro has no chance of paying of their debts. This will have a domino effect across Europe. With all respect and regard to the people of Greece (whom I know are suffering greatly, so its important not to make light of that) I just hope this happens when FF/FG are in Government and the shinners are the opposition.
Taoiseach Gerry Adams would be an extraordinary, and politely amusing I must admit, thing to see….
Lets hope by the next election, Sinn Fein will have more young talented people in every single constituency.
To be in control of the Dail without standing in every single constituency doesn’t seem right to me, so I agree the expectation was to increase the vote, break the media bias and get talented young people into prime positions in opposition so the people can see what to expect over the next term so they can choose whether they feel Sinn Fein deserve a chance to prove they can make a difference next time out.
They have certainly broke the medias back and I don’t think anyone will or can afford to rule Sinn Fein out in Dail elections ever again.
I still don’t see a FF/FG coalition. Both are in a sticky situation.
If it weren’t for the civil war differences and down purely to policy, the more natural alliance would be for Fianna Fail to split with half merged into Fine Gael and the other half to merge with Sinn Fein.
That is probably what would be in the best interests of the country and could potentially happen of they do manage a deal leaving FG in control.
The 50:50 deal has certainly bought FG time, but has its own dilemmas. Enda Kenny would want to go first as the largest party and that would not be acceptable to MM.
The bottom line is that if Sinn Fein can show the maturity in government to share power with the DUP then failure to form a coalition will just show who the most sectarian parties on this island really are.
I would still prefer to see Mary Lou as Taoiseach in the next election, perhaps Gerry would be more suitable as President of Ireland – I hope he wouldn’t be offended as I have a lot of respect for him. This election result has been a significant change an no-one can predict what way the pieces will fall.
So refreshing in spite of the media bias to get away from the usual panic to stop Martin from being first minister bullshit for the stormont elections.
It will certainly be interesting to see what happens. I also think that many Irish citizens in the north will be more interested in what goes on in the Dail than in Stormont going forward. Hopefully that engagement will continue by the next time out.
Wouldn’t it be great if we in the north could have a vote in the next presidential elections in 2018 though?
you cant compare being part of a glorified council with the dup as being in government surely,