Much is made of the personal chemistry between political leaders. For example, there’s a suggestion that Trump and Putin are made of the same stuff – two strongmen – and that they will thus be able to deal more effectively with each other. Nobody ever suggested Obama had that kind of relationship with Putin. And decades ago, the arrival of John Major in 10 Downing Street and Albert Reynolds in the Taoiseach’s office was said to have been very important in terms of the peace process: both men were practical, down-to-earth, different from those arriving with baggage on wheels.
So should we be worried that Arlene Foster appears to be allergic to Enda Kenny, and Enda looks like a man trying to control the an ulcer any time he meets Arlene? Probably, but not because they don’t get along. The more important question is, why don’t they get along?
My suspicion is that it has less to do with personalities and more to do with temporary, purpose-directed personalities. Arlene Foster, for example, was described in an Irish Times article the other day as ‘prickly’, highly sensitive to any suggestion that people are being high-handed with her. Yet about a year ago, I was in the BBC and even though I hadn’t spoken to her in, what, maybe twenty-five years, she approached me, shook hands and was full of warmth. Yes, yes, I know, Virginia – I’m a naturally more attractive person than Enda. But that aside: I saw none of the prickliness the IT speaks of. You see the same split personality stateside: the Donald Trump that’s speaking now is a considerably softer version of the haranguing presidential candidate.
The truth is, it’s all an act. We do it ourselves in our lives: we’re super-nice to people we hope will give us a job or a raise or will otherwise have power to reward us. We’re not quite so super-nice to those who don’t have authority over us, sometimes with our family members, sometimes with officialdom.
I’d suggest Arlene may not have any particular feelings pro- or anti-Enda. But she knows that kicking the shins of southern politicians from time to time is a sure winner with her electorate. Enda, on the other hand, believes that being charming and nice to northern unionists will go down well with his constituency. And so we have Arlene being curt and dismissive and even highly critical of the southern government (remember that ‘poaching’ international firms charge she aimed at the south?), at least partly with the intention of impressing on her constituents that she’s not going to be wrapped around the little finger of any Mayo broth of a boy.
Who knows how things are behind the closed doors of meetings, such as that in Armagh today? (And by the way, why aren’t journalists allowed to attend these meetings?) I suspect all attending will be as business-like as they believe will play well their respective followers. Arlene will be prickly and Enda will be sleekit, or vice versa, as the occasion appears to demand. They’ll be warm and charming if they think that get them somewhere.
The stuff in front of the cameras? That’s not politics – that’s political show business. Which raises the question: If journalists can go undercover and record abuse in residential homes and pick up Gordon Brown talking to aides about bigoted women, why can’t they find a way of bringing us what really happens when our representatives meet, as today? After all, we’re paying their travel and accommodation costs.
‘prickly’ Arlene.
Over on Slugger she was described as “curmudgeonly” which in modern terms means
“a grouch, crank, bear, sourpuss, crosspatch, a person who is easily annoyed or angered and who often complains,
The individual is crusty, ill-tempered, bad-tempered, surly, difficult and cantankerous”,
Do the adjectives best fit Arlene Foster or her ideology and political attitude?
During a recent placename-dropping visit to Milan and environs, Esteemed Blogmeister, one noticed that a work by a Portora Old Boy was being staged in the city.
This was La Fantasma di Cantervilla, a dramatized version of The Canterville Ghost by Oscar Wilde and it was staged in the Teatro Filodramatici di Milano, a theatre with an exquisite facade.
But, on reading today’s blog, it is a different and much more renowned emporium of artistic magic, albeit with a surprisingly more dowdy façade and located just around the corner, which comes to mind.
That would be La Scala.
And what a duet Kenny and Foster would make on that storied stage !
Certainly, geography is on their side: as has already been mentioned, Fermanagh in the more recent past has already made its mark while in the more distant past, the noted Mayo diva, Margaret Burke-Sheridan trod its boards with cat-like tread.
Indeed, she made her debut at La Scala in the opera, La Wally, by Catalani under the direction of Toscanini in 1922. Cineastes and other fillum buffos will recall an aria from La Wally featured as a soundtrack in the cult movie, Diva, in 1981.
Now, while one can imagine no opera more apt than La Wally to feature Kenny and Foster nonetheless because of their incredibly busy schedules – all those photo opportunities, all those sound bytes – this would not be feasible; therefore pragmatism dictates that a solitary duet must suffice. But, which one?
While one considers the options one might momentarily diverge by mentioning that there is a sporting fellow of some renown operating in the US of A at this moment in time, going forward. That would be (gulp) Kenny Foster.
His sport is Mixed Martial Arts and not unlike Kenny and Foster he is a, erm, featherweight. His nom de guerre is (gulp) The Tooth Fairy. His record stands at: 21 fights, 11 wins, 10 losses. Curiously, many of his victories and defeats have (gasp) ended the same way: by guillotine choke.
Kenny Foster is also a southpaw which might make his first name happy but could well not endear him to his dear sur or madame, name.
Thus, while Kenny and Foster, southpaw and northpaw, respectively, as well have been notoriously engaged in MMA up to this, it is truly encouraging to see them switching to the more sedate art of Grand Opera (witness Armagh today). Grand Opera being the musical art which uniquely features duets in which both participants do not so much sing as threaten to sing.
Therefore, there can be only duet deserving of serious consideration:
-Duetto buffo de due gatti.
Which translates into the German Queen’s English as:
-Humorous duet for two cats.
Both Kenny and Foster are eminently qualified to sing this duet which, while normally sung by two sopranos, even if Enda looks young enough to be a boy soprano, this malleable score can be easily tweaked to render it suitable for a soprano and tenor.
For Enda really fancies himself as the Juan Diego Florez of Fianna Fail Better and if the tenor of his constant caterwauling is anything to go by or to go by the wall by, nothing gives him more reason to purr with pleasure than to be to, erm, Peruvian himself so. In his sunny younger days he was not known as the Pangur Bán of anger-management for nothing.
As regards Arlene, suffice to quote her oft-mouthed mini-mantra which she tends to sing rather than say, in the manner of a singer, that is, a singer of the sewing machine variety.
-Fermanagh Felines are not one bitty less Britty than, erm, Cheshire Cats.
The Duet for Two Cats is often attributed to Gioacchino Rossini; this attribution is not strictly accurate. Rather is it a compilation of various musical phrases from that stupendous composer’s work.
The actual compiler was, in fact, the composer from East Italy’s distant cousin from West Britannia:
-Proinsias de Rossini,.
Known as The Impossible Possum to his friends, admirers and fans of which there are Legions, British Legions, indeed, Royal British Legions , the man whom the BBC fondly pronounces as ‘Prawnface’ was the ultimate complier, in fact, the original complier’s compiler.
The quintessential Mé Féiner, Proinsias de Rossini’s journey to the Top of the Politcial Leider saw him compile snatches of notes in turn, and in turns and twists, from the IRA, Sinn Féin, the Official Sinn Feign, , the Workers Party, DL, till finally landing in/on the Labour Party which has, sadly, been mortally downsized since – and possibly because of – the hard landing of Possum the Impusssible.
-Ar mhaithe leis féin a dhéanann an cat cronán.
The Humorous Duet for Two Cats is the ultimate Yune Tune on the basis that this Deuteronomy of a duet, this pussy cat of a tune grabs the listener unfussily by the ears. Not only that but there is no other duet which so unifies both singers as they only have to sight read from the same Hum Sheet, as it consists of a one-word lyric for the entire length of its Arlene-dominated aria:
-Mayowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww !
Leoncavallo’s Pagliacci should give you food for thought.
Can’t remember titles of individual pieces of music, but the thought
of ‘the face behind the mask’ is too tempting to ignore!
When did you ever see a politician without a false face?
We know its all an act from Arlene. Of course all politicians act. Both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump say and pretend that they love America, the truth is they couldn’t care less about the vast majority of Americans. Most politicians pretend they love meeting the voters but we can all see through their fake smiles and their pretend interest in what the “Little People” are saying. They have that look in their eye that says “Please get me out of here” while out amongst the voters. The Tories in England are terrible when it comes to acting. I wouldn’t be surprised if David Cameron sterilized his hands and burnt them over a candle flame after he finished canvassing for election.
But why does Arlene have to act this way? And Mike Nesbitt too? Why is it that being anti-Nationalist/Catholic is seen as a positive amongst the Unionist Electorate? Why is Brownie points earned by Unionist politicians from their electorate when they try to “get one over them’uns”? The only other mentality I can think of that is comparable to what many Unionist voters have is in the American Deep South, and I’m referring to the 1950/60’s. Many politicians in the Deep South that wanted to get elected could boost their chances by being against “them’uns”, aka Blacks. Its very similar here with Unionism in the North. Any Unionist politician that ever tried to move forward was voted out. The DUP/UUP do the things they do because they fear losing voters, they take photos burning Tricolours, mocking the Irish language, etc to send out the message: “See? We’re still against them’uns”.
Needless to say this goes against building a peaceful society, in fact its very dangerous and it shouldn’t be tolerated. The British/Irish Governments both turn a blind eye to it, as do the media. I’m of the opinion the current Stormont structures are not going to last, the attitude of Unionism is one of the main reasons why. For now, I believe Joint Rule would be the best alternative.