Sometimes my heart goes out to Mike Nesbitt and Colum Eastwood. Both come trailing clouds of glory from yesteryear: don’t forget, they were the two parties that launched Stormont power-sharing. But, as the song says, that was yesterday, now yesterday’s gone. Both parties know, deep in their boots, that it’ll never be glad confident morning again for either of them. Yet like Mr Micawber, they enter each election hoping something will turn up.
Both were quizzed on TV a couple of Sundays ago by Mark Carruthers. Mike was first in the hot seat and, when I entered the room cup in hand, he was explaining his electoral optimism to the fact that 45% of voters didn’t turn out last time, and if they did, my word, look at Brexit, look at Trump (Yes, Virginia, neither is a pretty sight but that’s what Mike said) – who’s to say we couldn’t have a similar upheaval here?
Then Mark got after him about No 2s. No, not that kind of No 2 – this was No 2 on the electoral ballot. Mark argued that if Mike and Colum were hoping for/planning a coalition in government, if the figures added up, then presumably Mike would be urging his followers to give their No 2s to the SDLP?
Eeek. Danger Alert. Man trying to get me to say I would urge my followers to vote for A NON-UNION PARTY!
No, Mike explained. He’d be urging his followers to give No 2 to “any candidate they can trust”. That said, he Mike would be voting for the UUP No 1, and No 2 he’d be voting for the SDLP.
It’s what the professional electoral commentators like to term a nervous toe in the lava.
As to the Irish Language, Mike thought it was grand, a lovely language, but nobody had explained to him why they need an Irish Language Act. (Maybe because Scotland have a Language Act and so does Wales?)
And now heeeerre’s Colum! Still with that distracting little dab of white in his beard. As with the old bad-breath ads – shouldn’t one of his friends murmur quietly that he might want to lose it? All it would take is a dab, Colum. Then we could listen to what you’re saying.
Anyway, with a massive effort I listened as Colum said he’d be giving his No 2 to Mark H Durkan but he wouldn’t tell Mark Carruthers who would get his No 3. Mark suggested he had an even bigger mountain to climb than Mike, Colum spoke of a “new team”, which sort of got jiggered when Mark mentioned Dolores Kelly (68) and John Dallat (69). (Note: I think the age reference was a bit of the old ageism stirring within the inner Mark. On the other hand, they are indubitably not new). As to Arlene saying there’d never be an Irish Language Act, Colum thought what was needed was a bit of civility.
He’s right there. In fact, that was near enough why Sinn Féin brought about the demise of Stormont – that and, of course, the RHI thing.
The bone-creaking problem that Mike and Colum face is that they want to point out to the electorate how different they are from the same old same old parties like Sinn Féin and the DUP, but they can’t afford to be TOO different from same old same old SF and the DUP. That’s why they urge people to use their votes and vote for change, while at the same time sending signals to the electorate that they’re just as firm on the constitutional question as Michelle O’Neill or Arlene Foster.
Neither the UUP nor the SDLP did very well last time out. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that neither will do very well this time out either. Sorry, guys – as they say in the south, you’re in senior hurling now.
One of these parties did naff all for working class people of either community, the other brought us the UK FBI, answers on a post card.
However, the political party founded to do more for working class protestants, has learned how to screw those same voters while looking after the wealthy, the OUP might well make some ground this time out, if unionism can get over Mike’s daring move to suggest voting for Fenian’s however, the prospect of a wee blonde lassie from Clonoe being the main minister, even if, as always, she can do nothing without the imprimatur of her unionist colleague, might just be sufficient to prevent our neighbour’s putting Michelle in with a split vote.
I’m near close at giving the OUP a number two before any of the other unionist parties, including the stoops.
Mark,you’re not supposed to refer to the hibs as the stoops.
You’re now not supposed to refer to the psnI as black bastards either but I always will, even if it upsets the wife, who jyst texted me to advise the dog hates peelers, I love my dog.
I think our dog is Alliance but I’m working on him.
Has do madra a balcas boiler?
TWO MULES for SISTER SAOR ULADH
Now M. Nesbit’s an authentic West Brit
While Whatchamaycolum’s a what’s it?
But, is too far west
For Eastwood best?
Does M know of white spot in C’s armpit?
Hard to work out who hates who the most here: some want to exhibit a tolerance towards unionists but have difficulty in containing their disdain for some nationalists. Republicans been told to “fuck off”. I know Arlene said it was going to be a brutal election, I just didn’t think it would apply to this site.
According to mr Fawlty of slugger ,the sdlp are going to do brilliantly everywhere.He uses a dose of fake news to shrink SF’s VOTE TO “1.3 quotas” in North Belfast and giving McGlone “a big transfer”from the WP in mid ulster.(Wp total vote in mid ulster circa 300 VOTES of which Patsy would be lucky to recieve 100 in transfers!)
Seems like Tommy Gorman is on Slugger.
The editorial line for the last decade would support the proposal that his bills are paid for by the DUP. Ignoring the bullet to a pregnant SDLP candidate was the last straw.