ETA, Spain, Theresa, Donald and double standards

Tom: I see where ETA have packed it in.

Dick: About time. I’m sick of looking at those ads of dragged fur coats leaving a bloody trail behind them.

Harry: Not to mention those insulting captions, like ‘It takes up to 40 dumb animals to make a fur coat, but only one to wear it’.

Tom: We’re not talking about PETA – People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. We are talking about ETA – Euskadi Ta Askatasuna – which means ‘Basque Country and Freedom.’ That’s what the paramilitary group in the Basque country is called.

Dick: Oh right. They’ve now stood down, haven’t they?

Tom: Correct.

Harry: And destroyed all their weapons.

Tom: It would seem so.

Dick: I expect the Spanish authorities have welcomed the move and ordered national street parties, while making a number of concessions to the Basque nationalists.

Tom: On the contrary. They’re making statements like “The only thing that Spanish society, the Spanish government and the Spanish state are working towards is the complete dissolution of ETA, without concessions and without conditions.”

Harry: Seems very hard-nosed of them.

Dick: It also sounds familiar  – contemptuous response to disarmament. Give me a minute and I’ll remember where I’ve heard that before.

Harry: Plus ca change, eh? Gloomy old world.

Tom: Of what are you thinking, I wonder?

Harry: End your wondering. I’m thinking of the sarin nerve gas attack, that left so many Syrian children suffering and dying.

Dick: Sickening. No wonder President Trump had to send in 59 cruise missiles to kill some of the people who did it.

Harry: What was the British response to Trump’s attack?

Tom: Britain welcomed it. A Downing Street spokesman said “The UK government fully supports the US action, which we believe was an appropriate response to the barbaric chemical weapons attack launched by the Syrian regime, and is intended to deter further attacks.”

Dick: That’s the spirit. Special relationship and all that.

Harry: Although at the same time…

Dick: Yes? Let’s have it.

Harry: I heard something about Britain selling arms to other countries.

Dick: Surely not.

Tom: I’m afraid it’s true. Britain has sold £12 billion worth of arms to brutal dictatorships around the world. This includes arms sales to Russia, which has passed the weapons on to the Syrian regime.

Dick: Is that the Syrian regime which used chemical weapons to kill its own citizens, including children?

Tom: I’m afraid so.

Harry: At least Britain didn’t sell them sarin.

Dick: Sarin? Is that another animal right acronym?

Harry: No, sarin is a colourless, odorless liquid used to make chemical weapons. So at least the British haven’t had a hand in that chemical attack by the Syrian authorities.

Tom: Well…

Dick: Yes?

Tom: Well, we can’t be sure.

Harry: Explain yourself.

Tom: Four years ago there were allegations that the UK supplied potentially deadly chemicals to Syria. Those opposed to this wrote to the then Business Secretary, Vince Cable, to find out the names of the companies that did the selling. Cable refused to release the names.

Dick: Are you referring to the nice Vince Cable man who used to appear on Strictly Come Dancing? Of whom judges said his performance would have been perfect only for a slight tendency to lean to the right?

Tom: He is one and the same.

Harry: It’s a funny old world.

Tom: In what respect?

Harry: There’s PETA –

Dick: Do you by any chance mean ETA?

Harry: Your correction is accurate – thank you, Dick. There’s ETA, handing over its weapons, and getting little thanks for it. And in some contrast, there’s Britain praising President Trump for his 59 missiles, and condemning Syria for its ghastly use of sarin gas.

Dick : When all the time, it could well have been Britain that supplied the nerve gas ingredients.

Harry: Dick, you have nailed it.

Tom: But think of all the British jobs that go into arms manufacture and sale. Think of the wives and children. And as you point out, that sarin they sold to Syria was some years ago

Dick: You don’t think it’s vomit-inducing hypocrisy on Britain’s part?

Harry: Disgusted at the use of the gas while happily selling possible ingredients for it?

Tom: The supply and sale of the weapons of war is a complicated business.

Dick: Pretty striking contrast with PETA

Harry: ETA

Dick:  ETA. They’ve disarmed and are still viewed with suspicion by Spain; President Trump bombs Syria and is praised by Britain, who may have supplied the materials for the nerve gas that killed Syrians, and which provoked Trump into the 59 cruise missiles attack.

Dick: Which Britain praised.

Harry: Precisely

Dick: Uber-complicated.

Harry: Even more so since Trump launched the Mother of All Bombs in Afghanistan and is now heading for a show-down with North Korea.

Tom: We must leave such decision-making to wiser heads than ours. Let us instead go and consume some alcohol.

Dick : Seconded.

Harry: Count me in too. By the way and speaking of dumb animals: is the rumour true that President Trump has changed his hair-style as well as his foreign policy?

Tom: Pass

Dick: Mine’s a Heinekin.

Exeunt omnes