Not everyone thinks Nelson McCausland has a sense of humour, but those who have seen him in a kilt will confirm that he definitely has. He also has a column in the Belfast Telegraph today on the subject of bonfires, and I was on the Nolan Show with him this morning about it. I seem to have lost the link to his article, but I guess you’ll find it if you hunt hard enough. When I read it, it struck me that consciously or unconsciously, Nelson offers some hilarious notions.
The most obvious one is that there are a lot of bonfires in England which burn effigies, so why on earth would anyone criticize unionists for having bonfires and burning effigies here? This makes as much sense as saying “Yes I beat my children. But so too do Mr Jones down the street and Mr Smith and Mr Murphy. So what are you getting at me for?” Gas man, that Nelson.
In particular the town of Lewes in England, Nelson points out, goes in for annual burning of a Guy Fawkes effigy. On the Nolan show I suggested to Nelson that we’re not quite as British as Finchley or Lewes: we are a bitterly divided society. Does burning posters of Gerry Kelly or effigies of Martin McGuinness in a coffin or the Irish flag or statues of Our Lady – does this kind of thing help to bind the wounds of a divided society or does it deepen division?
You’ll notice a bit in Nelson’s article which talks about John Hewitt and how Hewitt said murals were really worthwhile cultural artefacts. That would depend, I’d say, on the mural. I’m not sure that a dark gable wall with hooded men pointing weapons at the viewer is the highest form of art we have, but maybe Nelson hadn’t thought of that. Or maybe he was having a laugh. Or maybe this was another attempt to deflect attention from bonfires here.
Personally, I think bonfire burning anywhere, with or without effigies, is primitive and bad for the environment . If people lit a huge bonfire for the annual opening of the Westminster Parliament or the Dail – would that suggest a grown-up, civilized society with an elegant custom? Somehow I doubt it. Probably a cultural high point of the year when we lived in caves, but I’m hoping we’ve moved on and up a bit from that.
Which brings me back to Nelson, who says some people here are far too easily offended – the Most Oppressed People Ever. Now that is witty. I do hope Martin McGuinness’s family can join in the laughter. Because to me it looks suspiciously like an attempt to pull that old three-card trick: blame the victim.
The one thing Nelson didn’t mention in his article about bonfires was the biggest bonfire we’ve ever had. You ask what that is, Virginia? Why, the Renewable Heating Initiative of course. A DUP wheeze which has managed to send up millions of pounds in a merry blaze and which is currently under major investigation. I suppose if I wasn’t such a MOPE I’d see the funny side of a bonfire being made of the public purse.
Comments are closed.