If you want to understand Boris Johnson, maybe look at a clip of him playing rugby on a visit, I presume, to a school. In his shirt and trousers he gets the ball and goes thundering towards the touch line, bulldozing a small opposing player as he goes. There are also clips, if you care to look, of Johnson playing soccer. The highlight appears to be where Johnson does a crunching tackle that leaves his opponent lying flat on the ground, clearly in pain. Both clips show Johnson ignoring rules and damaging fellow-players. What should be a team sport is actually all about Boris, and what a spiffing sporting egg he is, even when he throws his weight around.
On TV yesterday he was talking about the UK exiting the EU without a deal, and he underlined his few words with punching-the-air gestures and a tough-guy smile. The UK may be about to engage in a spectacular act of self-harm but for Johnson, it’s another chance to show what a happy, punch-throwing kinda guy he is.
His objections to the EU offer of free trade? It would mean the UK would be a ‘vassal state’ (yes indeed, Virginia, we know all about that), forced to change its trading rules any time the EU changed theirs. This would be a total denial of British sovereignty and contrary to what Brexit is all about.
That is such an obviously false argument, I’m amazed most journalists haven’t ripped it to shreds long ago. If the UK ends up with no-deal, it’ll crash out of the EU and into the arms of the World Trade Organisation (WTO). That means it’ll be bound by WTO rules as a member of that organisation. If the WTO changes its rules, the UK will be forced to do likewise, or face being kicked out of the organisation.
The difference with the WTO, Johnson might argue, is that the UK will have a voice in decision-making in the WTO, but will have no voice in EU decision-making. In that he’s entirely correct. But of course, if he’d stayed in the EU, as 48 per cent of the UK wanted him to, he’d have had a major say in their decision-making. But remaining an EU member would have infringed on the UK’s sovereignty. Which will be infringed as part of the WTO or any other trading deal the UK manages.
The oftener you try to spot the element of rational thinking that Johnson may be following, the oftener your jaw drops. Because there is nothing rational about it. Except, maybe, Johnson’s continuing ability to bash into opponents and, he hopes, leave them prone and helpless.
Afterthought: maybe I’ve drawn the wrong comparison. To understand the Johnson mentality, it might be better to ignore the sporting metaphors and look at Balliol student Johnson on a night out with his mates of the Bullingdon Club. Their custom, we’re told, was to consume the finest food and gulp down the most expensive drink in a local restaurant; then at meal’s end, he and his companions would stand and set about thrashing the place, breaking everything breakable, before sauntering off chortling into the night.
But if Johnson thinks the people of Scotland and the north of Ireland, and even maybe Wales, are going to foot the bill for his international act of self-harm, he’s got another think coming.
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