Losing a pet – by Don McGurgan

There is a cycle of love and death that shapes the lives of those who choose to travel in the company of animals. It is a journey unlike any other . To those who have never lived through its turnings or walked its rocky path, our willingness to give our lives with full knowledge that they will be broken seems incomprehensible. Only we know how small a price we pay for what we receive. Our grief no matter how powerful it may be is insufficient measure of the joy we have been given by our pets.

They tell you not to cry. It’s just a dog, not a human being. Get over it, what will people think, dry your tears. They tell you that your dog is no longer in pain and you should be glad of that. They might say that they wished that someone who loved them would take them to a place to be put to sleep when they come to the end of their useful life. They tell you that it’s important not to let them suffer. They will say it was for their own good. They tell you that there is no more pain, but they don’t know how many times you and your dog have looked into darkness alone when human friends are not to be found. They don’t know how many times your dog was the only one who was by your side when others walked away. They don’t know how much fear you have at night when you wake up with your grief. They don’t know how many times your dog slept near you. They don’t know how much you have changed since your dog became part of your life. They don’t know how many times you hugged him when he was sick. They don’t know how many times you acted like you didn’t see her/him getting older and unable to express its puppy-like traits. They don’t know how many times you’ve talked to your dog, the only one who really hears. They don’t know that it was just your dog who knew you were in pain. They don’t know what it feels like to see your dog trying to say hello. They don’t know if things went wrong,  the only one who didn’t go is your dog. They don’t know that your dog trusts you every moment of its life, even it the last. They don’t know how much your dog loved you and how it is enough for him to be happy just because you loved him. They don’t know that crying for a dog is one of the most noble, significant, true, clean and warmest things you can do. They don’t know when the last time you moved him when he was in pain, making sure it didn’t hurt him. They don’t know what it felt like to pet hisface in the last moments of his life. Not everyone gets to experience the purity of spirit and their ability to love unconditionally.

Our pets are much more aware of their inner being than we humans give them credit for. Our animals simply by observing their human owners offer no resistance and love unconditionally. They give nothing but pure positive energy, showering us with love and special connection. Our pets do not hold grudges or re-play any past scenarios over again. Once an uncomfortable situation passes, they let it go- completely. If you find yourself wondering what to say to someone who has lost their pet, try to understand that it’s not just the loss of the pet. It is the loss of connection. That connection can never be replaced by a new pet. Allow the person time to grieve. You don’t have to try to make someone feel better. Often just your presence is sufficient for them to understand that you understand their pain.

I asked a vet what was the most difficult part of his job and unsurprisingly he said putting a pet to sleep. His earnest request was that despite the anguish and pain, that the owners or at least someone very close to them be present. The act of euthanizing is a very challenging procedure and when the pet knows it’s surrounded by its human family,  this greatly reduces the distressing experience for your pet. It’s the least we can do!

A dog’s Last Will & Testament

To a poor and lonely stray I’d give my happy home, my bowl and bed, soft pillow and all my toys; the lap which loved so much; the hand that stroked my fur; and the sweet voice that spoke my name. I’d will to the sad, scared shelter dog the place I had in my human’s loving heart, of which there seemed no bounds. So when I die, please do not say “I will never have another pet again, for the loss and pain are more than I can stand”. Instead go find an unloved dog, one whose life has held no joy or hope, and give my place to him. This is the only thing I can give.