What did you say you were ready to do, Simon?

There’s a scene in Curb Your Enthusiasm  where an American soldier is part of a group including Larry David. As is customary in the US, all of the group say to the soldier “Thank you for your service”. Being the contrarian he is, Larry David refuses to thank the soldier for his Service. It was hilarious and it was good to see an American sacred cow slaughtered. What people are thanking American soldiers for is putting on a uniform and going off to kill some people on the other side of the world. Who is that ‘serving’?  It’d be more accurate to say “Thank you for risking your life so you could take the life of some stranger”.

And now, inevitably, the custom has seeped its way across the Atlantic and into politics. Simon Harris has declared  “I am ready to step up, and I am ready to serve.”

Pu-lease. Do us a favour,  Simon. As Taoiseach you’ll be getting €185,000 a year.  So who’s serving who – the public by paying you all that moolah, or you for taking it? I’m sure there are all sorts of additional sweeteners, like a chauffeur-driven car  and having people in awe of you. I’m sure you’ll do a great job (shut up, Virginia) – but it is a job and it’s well-paid and it puts you right at the top of the greasy politics pole. What was it Idi Amin said? “All power is delightful. Absolute power is absolutely delightful”. You won’t have absolute power, Simon, but you’ll have sufficient to thrill you to the marrow of your bones.  But hey – cut the Serve baloney.