Politics: just one damn thing after another. Eh, Simon?

‘When sorrows come, they come not single spies/ But in battalions.’

Those words of Shakespeare must be ricocheting around inside Simon Harris’s head. First there was Michael O’Leary at a FG launch saying in so many words that teachers couldn’t run a bath; then there was that John McGahon video, where the Fine Gael candidate is punching the lights out of some unfortunate person lying  on the ground; then there was Apocalypse Now with Simon and Charlotte from Cork. Ouuuuuuchhhh.  But there’s more.

When Sinn Féin suggested in their manifesto that an assessment of RTÉ’s objectivity in reporting  the slaughter in Gaza and such, Simon and Co went into higher-morals mode and said such an idea was “chilling”.  The implication was that this would put journalists under pressure to…What? Tell the truth? Go aisy on stuff the government of the day didn’t want aired?

Only now it’s something along those lines that has Fine Gael and RTÉ once more in the spotlight.  Simon was asked if RTÉ was contacted by Fine Gael before the airing of the Simon and Charlotte in Cork exchange. Simon gulped and said   ‘I don’t think so’ or words to that effect. The intention was to lead the questioner and the general public  to believe they Fine Gael hadn’t approached RTÉ and begged them not to show the Simon and Charlotte Show, please please please lads. While at the same time setting up an exit strategy in case someone blew the whistle and said they had. Ah lads – ye’re chillin’ the Taoiseach.

Then  FG Finance Minister Paschal Donohoe was asked the same question: did Fine Gael contact RTÉ in advance of their airing that cluster-duck down in Cork?  Paschal opted for the bury-it-in-the-everyday strategy. Sure we have conversations with RTÉ all the time, Paschal told his questioner.

Whaaaat?? That was even better than his boss Simon. By saying they had contact with RTÉ on a regular basis, Paschal probably hoped to lead his questioner to believe that he Paschal and all of his squeaky-clean colleagues wouldn’t dream of pressuring RTÉ to spike that Cork fuster-cluck involving Simon and Charlotte. While  at the same time leaving some wriggle room just in case something awful came to light. What Simon actually did in fact was suggest to his questioner and the public in general that Fine Gael were in the regular habit of contacting RTÉ to…Well, to WHAT, Paschal? Eh? Speak louder, Paschal. Open your mouth wide and enunciate….Ah. To pass the time of day. Of course. What else. 

And people talk about the Kennedy family being cursed.

Incidentally, there’s no truth in the whispered claim  that  a little Cork girl sang Simon a song which included  the lines “You’re riding high in April/And you’re shot down in May“.