One man remonstrates with another . . .
(Read in the voice of Christy Moore.)
“Hold your breath
And mind your tongue.
Put away the Facebook
For the day has just begun.
Not another rant before breakfast?
Surely not?
Ah, come on now, steady yourself!
It would be easier if you just took up
Puffin’ on the fags again, friend.
Come on man, put down the Instagram
But give me a like before you do.
A heart or a big thumbs up.
Your’e like a pig with its snout
In that phone of yours, huntin’ for truffles
On Tik Tok, it may Rock your World
But you “un-friend me” with your silence.
What ever happened to a shared fag
Over a plate of chips, with two pints
Out in the beer garden?
With the craic and the laughter
Slippin’ down the walls
Like fluid perspiration.
A nation once again my friend.
All for one and one for all
On his feckin’ phone again!
I’m exas-per-ated, I’m concerned
About your mental health ye boy ye.
Between you, me and the Pope
Yer makin’ a rope to hang yourself with.
Never mind alienating your closest friends
Apart from drink, eatin’ shine, women
And livin’ down the bettin’ shop.
Yer goin’ to the dogs!
You need to make a bog body
Of that phone now.
Go on, go on, chuck it, I insist!
Yet, you hesitate.
I’m half pissed but you, you’re half cut
Mut and jeff from texting
As if it’s your last breath!
Ah come on, come on!
See reason.
Put it all behind you.
She’s not gonna call.
She caught you a week ago
Two timin’ her
Under the covers, with that jezaabell
Of a phone.
Have you no shame?
You know, it was too much, too much.
Dis-gustin!
Three Hail Marys
And 39 press ups.
Drink from the cup of life
Far, far away from your phone, son.
Admit it, Yer an addict.
You can’t get enough.
You need some cold turkey
And I’m not talkin’ sandwich meat
From the local Spar.
You can’t stray too far from your phone.
Your’e never alone, with a warm hand set.
And there’s me out in the cold
From your friendship.”
www.randallstephenhallsongs.
A northern Irish artist 
Comments are closed.