Rory McIlroy brings out something of the mother in all of us – or maybe a compound word of which ‘mother’ is the first half.
We could sit here and yarn all day about Rory, but I’m a busy man, involved with much high-level work. So I’ll confine myself to a few points.
Money
Even before he won the Master’s, young Rory was worth £225 million. So try to keep that in mind when you view the images of the lad face down on the turf, weeping inconsolably. As the great heavyweight Joe Louis is reputed to have said, “I don’t like money actually, but it quiets my nerves”.
Women
I suppose it’s like watching TV. You can choose from an endless number of channels and you end up not knowing which to settle on. The day after he won the PGA tour last May, Rory filed for divorce from his wife Erica Stoll. Then a month later he announced “ Thankfully, we have resolved our differences and look forward to a new beginning.”
But Rory has been around a bit. CBS sports presenter Amanda Balionis was seen getting a hug from Rory that raised speculation that Amanda and he might have had more in common than an interest in his golf balls. Then there was Caroline Wozniacki. They announced their engagement back in December 2013 after three years together, yet the relationship met an abrupt end when McIlroy called it off. He was even linked with the future Mrs Prince Harry, Meghan Markel, but that too fizzled out. Maybe he was worried what colour their children might be – who knows?
Nationality
Rory was reared in Hollywood, Co Down, which is such a nice place to live, MI5 have a lovely big building there and nobody says as much as “Boo!” to them. Rory got an MBE in 2012 (that’s a Member of the British Empire, Virginia). So you might have thought that pretty comprehensively told you how the lad saw his political loyalties. But not so fast.
He stated in 2013: “I feel Northern Irish and obviously being from Northern Ireland you have a connection to Ireland and a connection to the UK. If I could and there was a Northern Irish team I’d play for Northern Ireland. Play for one side or the other – or not play at all because I may upset too many people … Those are my three options I’m considering very carefully.” He ended up playing for Ireland in the Olympics, but by then he’d taken the good out of the whole thing. I mean, it’s like asking somebody if they love you and they say well, I fancy your man, and then there’s yon fellah, and it’s all very difficult. Ideally I’d love the perfect person. But here – all right – I love you – OK? Now would you ever shut up.”
Let’s put it like this: Rory isn’t exactly your Shane Lowry, who reaches immediately for an Irish tricolour to drape himself in when he wins a tournament. I may have nodded off (golf is such a goddam booooring game) but I don’t remember Rory doing that.
So that’s my present assessment of Rory. Now, Rory, how about a wee loan. A measly million will do…
Is this your ‘Sun’ edition, Jude?
It is easy for Shane to wrap himself in the tricolour, he was born in the Free State. Had settlers moved to Westmeath a few centuries ago things would be different. You can’t force patriotism on someone, look at the way the British media tried to force James McClean to wear their poppy. Rory McIlroy is a product of his environment.
A wee quiz Jude?
Where is Páirc Mac Con Midhe, and who was it named after? Where was Bulmer Hobson born?
Where did the first Irish speaking window cleaning business operate (after Bothair Seoighe)?
How do you spell Holywood (Irish, Latin or English answers accepted)?
There’s something you’re not quite following. Rory’s a working class Irish lad, who’s done good.