I once visited Germany, and some German people asked me if I knew any German – could I speak the language? To my shame I had to tell them that I knew only two German biteens: Auf Wiedersehen and Schadenfreude.
I mention this because I’ve just heard about Jim Gavin’s video showing him down on the farm. Some context: you almost certainly know already.
Jim is a Dub to his core – he managed the Dublin GAA footballers to five-in-a-row All-Ireland success, he was in the Irish army, and he’s a whizz at flying, apparently. In a plane, that is.
Being a Dub means when you go to Culchieland, you take care not to step into any pats of cow-shite there might be about. So Gavin took care not to do that. Apparently he went down on the farm to help him connect with rural folk, otherwise known as culchies, who might be tempted to dismiss him as a fucking jackeen.
Then two unfortunate things happened. Apparently Jim’s handlers hadn’t apprised him of dress code Down on the Farm. Because Jim had wellies on, yes, good so far. But he also had on cream-coloured or maybe even white trousers!
Not a good choice. Down on the Farm, cattle and stuff don’t hold back when they want to, well, to shite. And very often that shite bounces a bit, which would definitely show up on any nice cream/white trousers within striking distance. Such as Jim was wearing.
The other thing is, when Jim stepped out of the field , he didn’t close the gate behind him. Whaa-aaat? WTF??? Even a jackeen should know that in Culchieland, you ALWAYS close all and any gates behind you. To keep the bloody cattle or sheep or whatever from wandering free and going God knows where.
Apparently Jim said something like “These things happen”by way of justification. But the mean, merciless media immediately seized on it and christened it ‘Gate-gate’. Now that’s what I call a classy verbal baptism. Poor Jim. These things happen. And they stick.
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