Do you know a man called Browne? Maybe a man called Wallace Browne, then? OK – if I tell you he’s a former DUP politician and has gone to that blessed place where all DUP politicians go when their political life is over – to wit, the House of Lords – so the full title would be Lord Wallace Browne? Still never heard of him?
Neither had I before the TUV and DUP went mad over the damage done to a portrait of him by – you guessed it – a Shinner. To wit, Naoise Ó Cuilín, a son of Caral Ni Cuilin.
But hold. Did anyone see him damage the portrait? No. Did CCTV maybe catch him doing it? No. Has he said he did it? No.
‘Strewth.
I could go on about how a man who hasn’t been and can’t be convicted of any misbehaviour has set the TUV and the DUP all a-tremble. You might say they resemble a pack of hounds who go barking mad because they get a whiff of their quarry, only to find they can’t get at any quarry. Very very unsatisfactory.
But hey- relax. Try thinking about something that matters,maybe? Like the pollution of Lough Neagh, our half-dead health system, even Sir Jeffrey Donaldson. But for God’s sake – broken glass of a picture of a relatively obscure politician.We’re not talking about the Mona Lisa here
There must – there simply must – be matters of more pressing importance on the minds of unionists. Like,the coming border poll??
There’s a bit of the portrait of Dorian Gray mystery about this story. Nobody saw the actual attack? Could Naoise, like the mighty DUP Lord find himself being framed?
Maybe they could replace it with an effigy of Wallace!