A NORNEVERLAND SOLUTION TO A NORNEVERLAND PROBLEM

boffins

{OR ,THINKING, NOT JUST OUTSIDE THE BOX PART 3 OR 4 , BUT SEVERAL LIGHT YEARS BEYOND THE BOX ITSELF}
PART 3
Somewhere in a dimly lit room ,a collection of high -browed, egg-headed scientists and various academics have been tussling over the solutions to a series of upcoming and annually recurring problems in Norneverland .They have been locked in deep consultation for many months and like oil-rig workers, we’ll assume ,they are only allowed home on a rota basis .Six weeks on and six weeks off, to decompress and clear their minds for yet another brainstorming assault on the problems of the day…. Some of these profound ideas which torture their sleepless nights, might seep into the public conciousness on a gradual, slow- drip basis ; sometimes “leaked” out into the media to gauge public concern or possible compliance and some are simply hoisted ready-made onto a generally disbelieving public to like it or lump it, as it were.. The public have become so used to this kind of thing from politicians and public servants that they are quite prepared to believe just about everything and anything, such has been the level of slow political brainwashing in Norneverland.
It has long been assumed by these great thinkers that the so-called “Peace Walls” will soon become an irrelevance, for example, and are no longer being discussed at any level at all . They have been set aside almost like an old unfashionable piece of clothing. Like marching in the streets, the practice of which will have died away entirely within another generation because as everyone will weigh around twenty five stones in weight from general malaise and creeping obesity, they will generally not want to leave their homes at all for any reason ; any exertion will be anathama and food and services will be delivered directly from huge supermarkets by robot vans. They will exist, to live, primarily ,in a cyber- universe, in any case…. communicating over the world- wide- web with other room-entombed friends and possibly dipping into television to see what other human beings are doing in such contrived situations as “I’m a Celebrity Down A Disused Coalmine …Get Me Out Of Here”. The art of walking or marching down streets will become an ancient artform consigned to a long-forgotten past, practiced like Morris Dancing by micro -groups of rabid adherents .People will wonder why there was such a brouhaha about all that marching backwards and forwards.They will scratch their collective heads in wonder.
Likewise, the towering Peace Walls which divide and protect communities, will also become an irrelevance in an age when anyone can buy and own their very own radio-controlled drone and will use these flying machines for spying on their neighbours or whatever other nefarious actions their fertile minds can concoct. Lest the idea of a roomful of political boffins gathering their mental resources to alleviate our current problems should stretch your unbowing credulity to its fullest extremes,an even more recent innovation by the Canadian, Catalin Alexandru Duru ….. this past May, might give you further food for thought. Montreal inventor Catalin Alexandru Duru broke the world record for the longest personal hoverboard flight by a man.Duru took to the skies standing aboard his craft and James Bond-like ,flew up to five metres above a lake for a distance of 275.9 metres aboard his homemade, propeller-powered hoverboard in a trip that lasted more than 1½ minutes.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/hoverboard-duru-1.3270569
31-year-old Duru and his company, “Omni Hoverboards”, are already working on a secret, next-generation version of the device as I type. He will doubtless soon begin marketing his designs to all and sundry and Santa’s sleigh could soon be loaded with these new generation machines ,much as the market was flooded with “Quad bikes” a few years ago . I should imagine the ownership of a personal flying machine might make a barrier such as a Peace Wall…a barrier no more.
PART 4
Some are already tossing the odd wilding idea into the social mix to see whether or not it might find wings while tumbling from the nest. I picked up on a recent piece on local radio which was, apparently,  first essayed on the Slugger blogsite.
“Is it time to consider giving Loyalists special group rights?”
“Sophie Long” , a graduate student at the School Of Politics, International Studies And Philosophy at Queens University in Belfast thinks there might be a case for this. She bases her thesis on action research undertaken with Loyalist communities .Her arguement runs that the rest of us should somehow get together and equip Loyalists with the necessary power and resources to compete as equal participants in Norneverland politics.She is basically saying that they can’t do this on their own behalf because the political system has somehow conspired to leave them behind and without a voice.There is an assumption in this that none of this is actually their fault in any way and is not of their own making. That might sound like an interesting way to look at a group of people , apparently isolated, like a small unique species of creature within our local society.The argument seems to be that none of the unionist parties in power, and certainly none of the nationalist-leaning parties,actually represent them at all and that they seem incapavble of installing any representatives of their own.Given that only about half the population actually vote at all , they might not be so unique , though.

In other countries certain groups are granted “special case” rights and are granted seats in government by right but would that work when the actual “state” of Norneverland was artificially created in the first place , providing a counterfeit majority of unionists, by speciously drawing specific border arrangements to that effect, in some hoped-for perpetuity. Over time that man-made majority has been whittled back to a point where the balance between unionists and nationalists is actually beginning to draw level and might tip over the balnce at some future date . Sophie Long argues that if the small virulent “Loyalist” groupings which see themselves as more unionist than the unionism that is regularly accruing votes , cannot ,or are incaple of entering the political world by fair means , then they should be also ushered in similarly artificially. Well we know already what happened eventually with the artificial state that was created and what would this kind of action achieve or do to our already tenuous , unique form of democracy?
The argument develops thus…
“Not all groups are suitable for these special measures. In order to qualify for “special group rights”, most political theorists …{they’d be the boffins in that small dark room}… insist upon certain criteria being fulfilled.
These are:
1.The group has a common character and culture.
2.People growing up amongst the group will have their tastes and interests shaped by the group.
3. You are a group member if a) you recognise yourself as such and b) other group members recognise you as such.
4. It is a historically significant group with a common understanding of history.
5.There is no need to ‘qualify’ for group membership, as outlined above.
6. There are often a set of shared interests and common goals.”

The idea being floated seems to be somewhat akin to proposals such as have been made in the case of the Australian aborigines or possibly the Native Americans whose traditional way of life have been forever destroyed by the encroachment of another incoming civilisation’s new ways of life and new ideas for living.That kind of thing has always happened to groups throughout world history ….. should that be Homo Sapiens driving out or subsuming the Neanderthals or the disappearance of the Denisovans. That’s like saying that the traditional peripatetic life of the “Plains Indians” who followed the buffalo herds was destroyed by the swathe that immigration burnt through America within a short span of years.That is exactly what happened and those left behind would have to learn to adapt or wither away .You might say that the hunter-gatherers of the African plains had to finally abandon a lifestyle to become the first farmers or that the Travelling People of Ireland and Europe will eventually have to become forever settled because the modern world is not the same as it was one hundred years ago and nobody really needs an old lady coming around their door anymore selling home-made wooden clothes pegs and handing out curses to reluctant housewives. The world changes and ideas change and it is up to all of us to manage to change with it or be left behind.There are many who refuse to apply themselves to learning anything about modern technology who will make themselves more and more isolated.Loyalists have manged to do this all by themselves.
Well…are “Loyalists” some special racial or cultural group, possibly lost in time, like those Plains Indians? The proposal appears to posit the idea that Loyalists should be represented in government whether they are “officially” voted in or not.In fact the idea is that some kind of special voting provision should be made to bend the current sytem to better represent this unique micro -grouping.There is no doubt, that for many of us ,these “Loyalists” appear as some curious lost tribe locked in a timewarp, especially when some of their more illogical behaviour becomes apparent on the streets , but is it not a timewarp of their own making? Their idea of “Loyalty” is also something that doesn’t really bear close scrutiny in the 21st century. Are they any more unique than say, Hippies, Punks,White Witches, Druids,Shoe- Gazers, Mods, Skinheads or Goths? Should each little micro-tribe be allowed its place to shine in the sun and should provision be made to allow its specialised characteristics to vocalise its particular social voice in government? Are these any different than the “special” groups in the six points criteria above?
Meanwhile …back in that dimly lit room the boffins continue to churn out idea after idea in the hope that at least one will seep out and catch fire, giving some credence and credibilty to their monthly pay- cheque.

8 Responses to A NORNEVERLAND SOLUTION TO A NORNEVERLAND PROBLEM

  1. Bridget Cairns November 20, 2015 at 7:46 pm #

    I remember when Norman Tebbitt suggested a loyalty test for Pakistanis & Indians. It was posited that they should be asked what country did they support in cricket, we’ll call it the cricket test, not to be confused with test cricket. This was to establish whether they were loyal to Britain or their home country. Perhaps, loyalists, despite all their flag waving & supposed loyalty to Britain, might be confused about their oft talked of loyalties. Why should they be a “special group”, we know where their loyalties lie. Perhaps they feel let down by the country they show their allegiance too.

  2. ben madigan November 20, 2015 at 8:11 pm #

    Harry – Belfast’s own Jonathan Swift has already made a much better modest proposal for preventing the Loyalists in Ireland from being a burden on their fellow citizens or country and for making them beneficial to the publick!!

    Ms Sophie Long (who’s she? some PhD student? ) is not at all in the same league as the world famous author of Gulliver’s Travels, whose Man Mountain was no other than Cavehill’s very own Napoleon’s Nose!!

    https://eurofree3.wordpress.com/a-modest-proposal-for-preventing-the-loyalists-in-ireland-from-being-a-burden-on-their-fellow-citizens-or-country-and-for-making-them-beneficial-to-the-publick/

    • paddykool November 21, 2015 at 2:24 pm #

      Ha ha …i enjoyed that ben.It’s no bad thing to constantly point out the absurdities we have to deal with on a constant basis in Norneverland.We tend to take it all for granted anyway , so it’s no surprise when some our very own half-baked notions are considered. Did you know that as a teenager I used to drink in an old “coaching house” where Jonathan Swift sometimes stayed in times past .It was, back then ,inhabited by a friend of his who he visited regularly, living locally at the time .His own annotated copy of Gulliver resides in the local historical library. The pub was blown away in late 1972 when iwas in Leeds at art college.It’s not only ISIS that has no thought for historical values sometimes.

  3. ben madigan November 21, 2015 at 7:02 pm #

    Where was that Harry?
    Somewhere along the Shore Road?
    Swift had a girlfriend called Varina ( love the name!!!) after he he was appointed as prebend of Kilroot, near Carrickfergus in County Antrim in 1694 so he was familiar with that part of North Belfast/Newtownabbey. If the powers that be in NI Tourist Board had any sense they’d be organiziing Swift Tours and re-building that old “coaching house” for cream teas and 18th century punch!!

    • paddykool November 21, 2015 at 9:06 pm #

      that was in Armagh , ben .Swift hung out there too. For some time the local tourist industry made something of his connection. The pub was an old hotel and coaching house called the Beresford Arms which is now the gentrified site of the bank of Ireland . back in the day it was a coach and rooming house .Swift had connections around Markethill too.sone twenty years ago thieves stole the Lilliputian manuscrip but it was later recovered …Like you say , ben..not enough is made of this kind of history.The buggers are more interested in other things.

  4. jessica November 21, 2015 at 11:26 pm #

    Not sure if this is genuine but I have some sympathy with where she may be coming from.

    The average loyalist has been used and abused by both the british state forces and by their political representatives for many decades and have been very loyal to both during that time.

    They were given instructions from both and used as weapons in the conflict by the state often spending years in jail for doing so and to lend force to political argument by unionist parties and orange order led riots (mccrea with billy wright for example) but always kept at a sufficient distance to allow them attack sinn fein who never tried to hide their support for the IRA or no matter what pressure was put on them from political or media sources, always stood firm to their grass root principals.

    So loyalists are now perhaps realising they have been led a merry dance, have no political voice having been swept aside for political expediency now they are of no real political value and are beginning to realise just how much tripe they are still being fed, now an economic asceticism is the way they are now being told to keep ulster british. So much for the loyalist community dividend they were apparently promised.

    I believe there could well be value in this. For one, loyalists on the ground have been working with republicans on interfaces and doing great work for years in keeping young people away from violence and attempting to keep peace. They have not had the same problems speaking to one another on sometimes a daily basis and know damn well the IRA is not leading sinn fein, are no longer active and while we still have our differences they don’t have to hold their noses to speak to one another and have the balls to speak their mind and get things sorted.

    Perhaps political unionism could benefit from more like them.

    I can at least see where she might be coming from.

    We need a solution here that benefits everyone. Are the unionist parties really capable of delivering this?

    • paddykool November 22, 2015 at 5:04 pm #

      But Jessica …by that logic every micro- grouping would have a case to say that they ,too, should have a special place in the sun as well.It’s not as if life is fair and everyone is born with equal gifts. These people may have been influenced….manipulated even , by Big House unionism, but that is what political parties have always done to everyone, everywhere.It is up to individuals to make up their own minds about who or what they believe in ….or who they want to vote for, or the kind of people they want to actually be.Political parties are not set in stone either and who knows how their progress will fare as the years peel by. It’s not so long ago that the SDLP and the UUP were the dominant parties with all the power. That might change .Who knows ?Again there is no law that says that a “loyalist”[ whatever that might actually be } can’t have a change of mind , say, by reading something that alters their viewpoint and then wish to pursue an entirely new political path.People can and do change their minds as they get older. That might seem a little strange , of course, but the ballot box is there with all those choices and we are all free to vote for anyone in the privacy of the voting booth.To say that loyalists can’t get anyone they actually want to represent them into government could be said by someone who wants to vote in a Green candidate or some other who can’t get sufficient votes. You just need the numbers and you are counted in .If you can’t get the numbers why should the rules be changed just for you ? If you wanted to join a social club and the fees were so high that you couldn’t pay them , would you want the rules of the club changed for you ? ..Well you might , but it’s unlikely to happen, isn’t it?

      • jessica November 22, 2015 at 7:09 pm #

        “But Jessica …by that logic every micro- grouping would have a case to say that they ,too.”

        Oh I accept that totally PK, it was more of an observation.