Commemoration Day Conversation

First man: What’s all this about a National Day of Commemoration?

Second man: God, but you’re ignorant. It’s a day dedicated to commemoration of Irishmen who died while fighting in wars or with the United Nations.

First man: Is that a fact. All Irishmen, eh? Well at least they’ve spread their net wide.

Second man: What do you mean, net?What are you talking about?

First man: I’m talking about the fact that, according to you,  every Irishman who died in wars, regardless of who he was serving with, will be commemorated.

Second Man: Oh, I see. You are speaking net metaphor. Well at least this way there’ll be no giving out.

First Man: What do you mean?

Second Man: If the Southern authorities selected certain people who died in certain wars, there’d be people pointing the finger and saying ‘And why didn’t you include that conflict? My Johnny died in it, and yis don’t think he’s worth commemorating’. By including everyone there’ll be no hurt feelings.

First Man: Yes, see what you mean. Although including everyone could be  a bit of a handling too?

Second Man: How so?

First Man: You know.

Second Man: No I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.

First Man: Do I have to spell it out?

Second Man: Yes!

First Man: I’m thinking of the Troubles in the North. All those IRA men that were killed.

Second Man: Eh?? That was a bloody terrorist campaign. You don’t expect us to commemorate terrorists?

First Man:  What about Tom Barry?

Second Man: EH?

First Man:  You know, Tom Barry of Cork. Led a Flying Column in the War of Independence. Or the Tan War as some people call it.  Is he being commemorated?

Second Man: No.

First Man: And why not, pray?

Second Man: He didn’t die during the Tan War.  He survived it.

First Man: Oh. But a lot of Irishmen did die in the Tan War. Are they being commemorated?

Second Man: Of course. Brave men that gave their lives for Ireland.

First man: And what about Bobby Sands and those other hunger-strikers?

Second man: What about them?

First Man: They gave their lives for Ireland. As did a lot of young men during the northern Troubles. Are they being commemorated?

Second man: Most definitely no.

First man: Why not?

Second man: They were terrorists.

First man: Like Michael Collins, whose gang shot all those British agents in their beds on the first Bloody Sunday.

Second man: Of course. Michael Collins was a great hero, who, sad to say , was killed in the Civil War.

First man: What about Irishmen in the British army?

Second man: What about them?

First man: They died in wars too – died in the First World War,  died in the Second. Are they being commemorated?

Second man: Look. This commemoration is for ALL Irishmen who died in wars.

First man: the Troubles in the north were really a guerrilla war.

Second man: Don’t be ridiculous. Those Troubles as they call them involved two bloodthirsty tribes – had nothing to do with fighting a war.

First man: But Tom Barry and Cathal Brugha and the rest were fighting a war.

Second man: Yes! I’ve told you already – YES!

First man: So we’ll commemorate Irishmen who fought on the side of the British in the two World Wars, but not for Irishmen who fought for Ireland against British forces?

Second man: Lookit,  you’re just trying to be a smart-arse. Irishmen who died in wars, full stop. Understand?

First man: Irishmen like those in the RIC the time of the War of Independence?

Second man: Well…

First man: Or Irishmen who fought in the RUC, or the UDR –

Second man: They were TERRORISTS!  How often do I have to tell you. TERRORISTS!

First man: No they weren’t . They were part of  His Majesty’s forces – hence the Royal Irish Constabulary, the Royal Ulster Constabulary.

Second man: You’re trying to confuse me. That’s what you’re trying to do. But it won’t work.

First man: What about Irishmen who were traitors during the wars and were executed?

Second man: I can see that you are one of these shady men who control Mary Lou McDonald and all the Shinners in the South. There’s no point in talking to you.

Second man: Sorry to hear that. I was quite enjoying our little chat. Bye.