Micheál and doing the splits

As far as I know, Micheál Martin doesn’t have the power of bi-location. That’s bi-location in a physical sense. In the Dáil yesterday, he had a spirited attempt at  mental bi-location.

The subject under discussion was speaking space in the Dáil for Independent TDs, led by Michael Lowry. Back in 2011, the Moriarity Tribunal found Lowry guilty of some dodgy manoeuvres like granting an Esat Telecom licence to  Denis O’Brien. The tribunal found that O’Brien made or facilitated payments of hundreds of thousands of sterling to Lowry. Micheál Martin said it amounted to a shocking indictment of his [Lowry’s] behaviour” and that Lowry should resign as a TD.

In the Dail yesterday Micheál was in bi-location form. He declared Lowry and his chums deserving of debating space and when questioned on this by Pearse Doherty and Mary Lou McDonald, he informed the two Shinners that whatever his sins, Lowry had never shot a man.

I’m not sure if Pearse and Mary Lou followed up on this, but it was an obvious attempt by Micheál to lead them down a rabbit hole. Because as Micheál well knows, Pearse and Mary Lou never shot a man either.  In fact they were in metaphorical short trousers when the northern Troubles were raging.  But that didn’t deter Micheál-  ask me about Lowry and I’ll tell you about Bik McFarlane.

We’re all agreed that violence and killing are abhorrent. It’s also ridiculous in the extreme to condemn violence and killing in one case (the north of Ireland) and laud it in others (the south of Ireland). It’s also ridiculous to have a group of Independents as part of the government and at the same time argue that they should have speaking rights as members of the opposition.

Be careful, Micheál.  Mental bi-location involves doing the mental splits, and that class of carry-on could end in you rupturing yourself from the neck up.