At last Arlene Foster has surfaced like some multi -toothed …erm….crocodile .Aye “crocodile” is the current buzzword for “bogeyman” or possibly for Nationalism itself, as the DUP prepares for battle in the coming election …Maybe she’d been watching Walt Disney’s version of “Peter Pan” and heard that old ticking clock that Mr Crocodile had swallowed in Neverland ….tick….tock….tick…tock…tick…tock…
It’s all about time and timing and maybe even about time running out…..tick…tock…tick …tock…tick……tock……tick….tock…..
Or maybe not . Maybe her fellow ministers are not really sharpening their knives in the background in readiness to do a David Cameron on her and shower her back with knife stings..
…Et tu Brute….er …Sammy!!
Maybe Wee Sammy and the rest of the sour unphotogenic gang really do want to keep her as a scapegoat for a short while longer to see if her popularity still stretches beyond the streets of her homeland .One of them , Nelson McCausland ,was on the radio this morning and he claimed that after visiting two thousand homes while out canvassing , he only encountered two people who were not enjoying all those lovely DUP scandals .Only two people objected so far out of two thousand .That’s a pretty good result , isn’t it?As a phone-in caller who described himself as a now-sceptical DUP supporter, pressed him harder , Nelson couldn’t really remember the details of where the two thousand people lived , mind.Maybe it was all a dream. At that point he made his excuses and hurriedly left the studio.
Something seems to have annoyed the DUP and finally roused Arlene ,the one-time First Minister of Norneverland from her torpor. I suppose it’s understandable that the party thought that they could simply continue with their series of episodic scandals forever and no -one would pay any mind .These kinds of repetitive habits can be difficult to break. It’s a bit like one of those syndromes that are on a spectrum of some sort .You know , something like Aspergers or OCD. Scandals seem to be the DUP’s version of lining up the cans in the pantry in alphabetical order or not stepping on the pavement cracks while out walking ….one of those little quirks which makes their lives bearable for the sufferer .I suppose there might even be a “DUP Syndrome ” joining that list on the Autism Spectrum which many suffer from. I suppose we are all on some kind of spectrum in this mad fairy-tale land .We take eccentricity in our lives and in our politicians for granted , mostly.Hardly anyone really expects them to be able to actually “do” politics anyway, so we’re never really surprised when another scandal comes by or the government collapses and there’s another excuse to get out and do a bit of electioneering and telling the odd lie .
We love all that and we are mostly willing to accept anything…..Man….we’ve been through some material in this past ten years .It’s like one of those long boxsets like “Lost”, “Homeland” or “the Affair” which has launched onto yet another season when you know that your chain is being pulled and the show has long since run out of steam and any new ideas.The writers have thrown in everything but the kitchen sink so far , so you are not even expecting the thing to be resolved or to even make any sense in the end.
The RHI Scandal, the Ash for Cash Scandal, the Muslims Only Fit To Go Shopping Scandal , The Red Sky Scandal, the Ashers Bakery Gay Scandal, the Ban the Play Scandal, the Mrs Robinson Assorted Dolly Mixture Bag of Scandals, the NAMA Scandal and more to come …. Guess who’s fingerprints are all over that little lot.Have I missed any? have I left a few out? it’s very easy to get confused.Oh what about the Pantomime Hokey Cokey Ministers in Government Scandal. Yes the DUP have always played it all for money and laughs , haven’t they? …and of course we all loved to have a good laugh at them too. It had to come to an end at sometime of course, especially when the little bit of power went to the First Minister’s head and she had to be surgically removed before she went insane..
I suppose the DUP might enter the text books in another generation or so as something like “Duplicitous Unwarranted Political Shenanigans Syndrome , possibly.It will be described as :
“….a developmental disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and verbal communication, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests.This will be characterised by leanings towards paranoid behaviour. The belief that they alone , as citizens ,are allowed to screw up the finances of the country, steal money whenever they like,are allowed to promote racism and bigotry and promote an agenda of hatred .When required to play their part in a Joint administration they believe that they alone are really running the place and do as they please.”
Tick…..tock….tick….tock….tick….tock….tick….tock….tick …..tock……
Oh here comes that bloody crocodile again……..
The old Polish gimmick being played again. The Polish do have a language act in Poland where Polish like Irish in Ireland, or Northern Ireland or whatever you like to call the 6 counties, is an indigenous language. Where Polish place names are used to name the glens, mountains, plains and lochs. And where Polish surnames adorn the telephone directories. This is not to say that native Polish speakers don’t deserve protection in Ireland – where the indigenous language is Irish. But I think the indigenous Irish language takes precedence.
The 2011 census says more people here have Irish than Polish.
Go figure!
Yeah, Burn The Budget Arlene would think it makes more sense to have a Polish Language Act. It would seem she has brains to burn too as the business case for a Polish + language act will only need a couple of signs at the airport saying no immigrants. Brexit was the business case and Arlene loves it.
It was churlish.
is that a picture of a “snap” election at the top of the post?
This article should be up on billboards around the six counties. No that might cause accidents. Take some of the most important (and funniest) phrases, put them on billboards and then tell people where they can read the rest in full, online
Why…thank you for the kind words Nuala. I have to say that it makes a change to read a glowing critique as opposed to some of the usual brickbats that are usually to be swatted aside like noisy hornets.
Some interesting tweets going round at the min.
A few weeks ago we have Sophie Longs tweet, if we’d rather be robbed by a prod than rules by a catholic then we are in trouble.
That has resounded deeply with myself and others.
It’s good to see progressive thinking like this.
Another tweet with regards Arlenes speech yesterday stood out….Arlene Foster mentioned SF 24 times, Gerry Adams 12 times, RHI 6 times and equality once.
I think that tells you plenty of how she plans to run this election and how she sees our future.
The Unionist electorate will be under scrutiny after this election.
Will they continue to support corruption, controversy, disrespect, inequality and arrogance in order to keep “themuns” out or will they choose another path?
Will the unionist electorate continue to support corruption,controversy,disrespect,inequality and arrogance in order to keep themins out? To paraphrase Nelson McCausland – to hell with the fine detail just vote DUP.
Naturally DUP politicians will say this.
I have hope many of the Unionist electorate will see thru this.
“Will the unionist electorate continue to support corruption,controversy,disrespect,inequality and arrogance in order to keep themins out?”
I don’t know how much that attitude is due to Unionism and how much to Orangeism. And I don’t think the Unionist voters know.
But I do know that having members of the Loyal orders piggy-backing on to Unionist parties for election to Stormont, Westminster and the EU parliament creates a gigantic Conflict of Interest as no one has any idea of which policy is being pushed through and implemented.
Time to separate the orange order from Unionist parties
https://eurofree3.wordpress.com/2017/02/04/true-confessions-heart-to-heart-with-miss-unionist-gfa-northern-ireland/
We’ve come to expect this from unionist politicians but hopefully the unionist electorate can see through all this after the persistent disrespect, arrogance, corruption and inequality shown by unionist politicians.
If the unionist electorate return the DUP as the biggest party then I guess that says a lot about how they view how the DUP have been acting while in government and how they see the future with their catholic/nationalist/Irish neighbours.
Good post ben !
Where is Gio and MT for their comments? Strange silence!!!
Still licking their wounds from the last encounter. They both have a lot to think about.
Arlene has given SF their election slogan:
Je suis un crocodile.
Always good to hear from a Kurt Vonnegut fan , Billy….